Relationships

3 Ways To Practice Non-Attachment In Our Relationships

We're taught from the day we're born that we need to be attached to everything. We need to be attached to the people around us, to the things we have, and even sometimes to present situations. Most importantly, and most painfully, we're taught to be attached to the people we are in love with.

But attachment isn't love. It's a manifestation of objectifying another human being. It's taking possession of them, and it's not a terribly good way to enter into a romance with someone. So what are 3 healthy ways to practice non-attachment?


1. Practice interconnectivity instead of codependency.

When you invest yourself in your partner mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, it creates between the two of you a healthy interdependence. This interdependence fosters feelings of love, self love, support, and interconnectivity. It is, however, important not to give too much and to respect the boundaries of your partner, otherwise the dynamic can be like a runaway train. The end of the tracks? Anger, resentment, and regret.

2. Reject the fear of loss entirely.

If you were to ask most people in a relationship what their greatest fear is, it's losing their partner. You can lose your partner in many different ways, but that fear of loss is an unrealistic idea that roots itself in attachment and possession of people. Instead, completely reject the fear of some future loss and enjoy the moments you have together today.

3. Connect with the source - you.

Here's the ultimate truth about happiness: it's not connected to your girlfriend or your husband. It's not connected to your family or friends. It's not connected to all the stuff in your house or all the dollars in your savings account. It's connected to you. We act like we rely on everything else for bringing us joy, but we bring joy to ourselves. In order to be happy, you must be happy on your own. When you place the expectation of happiness on your partner, you're practicing dependency on them.

Relationships

Here's Why It Is Completely Fine To Cut Out Family Members From Your Life

In my opinion, there is nothing more challenging and heartbreaking than having to end the connection and distance yourself from a loved one.

Family ties are some of the strongest bonds anyone has in their entire life. Whether you are family by blood or family by choice, everyone has certain people they consider to be family.

Family is supposed to always be there for you and you never expect your family to hurt you. However, some family members can be more destructive and damaging than anyone else.

When this sacred bond is broken, it can leave a lasting wound. The truth is, some people are simple too toxic for you to be around and you need to move on without them.

Don't be ashamed for deciding to put yourself first. Never put your physical, mental, or emotional well-being on the line just because someone is "family."

So, how do you know how to spot a toxic family member? Pay attention for these five warning signs!

1. They feed off drama.

Have you ever decided to turn to family member for some advice or shared some of your deepest fears with someone you trusted? You expose your vulnerabilities in hopes to receive some sort of assistance in a time of need.

Then you find out they have completely betrayed you and now everyone knows your secrets. This is the ultimate betrayal, especially when it comes from a close family member or trusted friend.

2. They judge you.

Constructive criticism is extremely healthy and a required part of every relationship. However, repeated, aggressive, and degrading criticism can affect a person's self-confidence on a very deep level.

Family members that are overly judgmental and controlling are definitely toxic and you have no need to feel bad about removing yourself from their presence.

3. They are only there for you if it somehow benefits them.

A toxic family member will only decide to help you if they have something to gain. Normally, they will come to you for advice or assistance, but as soon as you give them what they need, they will choose to distance themselves from you once again.

What happens when you need their support and love? They're no where to be found. They know how to manipulate you.

4. They go back and forth between positive and negative comments.

One moment they're praising you and supporting your efforts and the next they're insulting you and judging every move you make.

They can't tolerate it when you ignore their efforts, so they do everything in their power to regain control of your attention. It is nearly impossible for them to give up their manipulative behavior.

5. They often use a nefarious manipulation technique, referred to as gaslighting.

If you know someone who claims that they never did or said something when you and everyone else around know that's a lie... you are being gaslighted.

Gaslighting is a technique based on planting seeds of doubt in the mind of the victim in an attempt to make them feel helpless and question their own sanity and memory.

Chances are, you might have a family member that matches the description above. If so, they are a threat to your mental health. Toxic relationships, even with family and friends, can have a major impact on your overall wellbeing.

Just because you have identified a toxic relationship, that doesn't mean you should give up on that person. There are many things you can do to make a toxic family member more tolerable.

However, the best solution will always be to remove them from your life. It is not always an easy task, especially if that toxic person is a parent.

If the situation has escalated to a point where it has become impossible for you to be happy, then you have no choice but to eliminate that person from your life.

No matter how beneficial removing this person from your life might have been, there will still be feeling of guilt, loss, pain and doubt about the decision.

You must be willing to make this sacrifice in order to protect your emotions. Sometimes you have to experience pain to protect yourself. You will also need time to recover and heal.

Remember to always take care of yourself! If you found this article helpful, please don't be afraid to SHARE it with your family and friends on Facebook!