10 Signs You’ve Got A Good Man (Spoiler: If They’re Rude To Wait Staff, They’re Not The One)

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We all want our relationships to thrive in every way possible, but given that we’re all human, we’re also prone to worry and anxiety about the things that are important to us. This can include our significant other.

We spend hours upon hours toiling, wondering whether or not they’re the one for us and if this will be our forever partner. Well, here’s a handy list you can measure your better half against to help answer some questions and decide whether or not he’s a good man.

In any relationship, always take stock of your feelings and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them?

Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it’s much more than that. If you want to know more on what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on date of birth.

All Around Us

Relationships are such a wildly varied, beautifully unique part of life. No two relationships will ever look, function, or perform the same way as another, which is wonderful! There are so many displays of love around us every day, that’s something to be grateful for!

A couple smiling as they lay in bed side-by-side, hands behind their head.
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Then there are our own relationships, something we should especially be able to revel in the joy of. Of course, we’re our own worst critics, so our romantic endeavors can sometimes leave us questioning our choices rather than enjoying our time with our significant other.

If you want to make sure that you’ve found a good man, the right man, feel free to run him through this list of criteria. You might come back with some surprising revelations.

1. He Makes You Want To Be A Better Person

Any good person, whether a partner, friend, or family member, will want to see you grow. No one wants to see someone they care about become stagnant and unmoving in their life, unwilling to learn or grow beyond their current state.

A couple smiling as they go running together.
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A partner that wants you to remain the same is waving a huge red flag right in front of you. They’ll suppress any attempts at growth so you can remain under their control and not threaten their own delicate worldview.

A good partner will actively encourage you to grow, learn, develop, and flourish into your best self. They’ll want to see you reaching your fullest potential because that’s what’s best for you, not them.

2. He Respects Your Circle

Your partner should always be respectful of the other people in your social circle, especially your close friends.

A group of women sitting around some tables, talking.
Unsplash / LinkedIn Sales Sollutions
Unsplash / LinkedIn Sales Sollutions

There’s this strange belief that women shouldn’t have male friends while dating, as their new boyfriend might feel threatened by the presence of other men in her life. Obviously, this is ridiculous, and if your new man refuses to respect the friends you’ve had longer than he’s been around (regardless of their gender), he’s not worth keeping.

Then, of course, he has to respect your other friends. If he treats anyone you consider special or important with any amount of contempt, he does not have the right attitude.

3. He Treats Wait Staff And Animals With Kindness

This test here is a great measure of character for everyone you come across, prospective romantic partner or not. It’s very simple: just observe how they treat waitstaff and animals, then you’ll get a pretty clear view of who they are.

A man petting a white cat, both sitting on a couch.
Unsplash / Preillumination Seth
Unsplash / Preillumination Seth

Waitstaff first, as a disappointingly high portion of people will treat waitstaff with inherent disrespect or disregard because of their work. If your new partner treats them with respect and kindness, you know he’s compassionate.

However, some people can put on a front while in a crowd, so the next step is to examine how they treat animals. If they’re rude, pushy, demanding, or disrespectful towards pets, you best believe those traits will reveal themselves in your relationship down the line, so it’s best to get out now.

4. He’s Very Supportive

This one is more self-explanatory, but your partner should be supportive of you in all your endeavors.

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This doesn’t mean blindly agreeing to whatever you propose, becoming a yes man who never protests. That’s not fair to either of you, is it? He should recognize when issues might arise and help you accomplish your dreams in a safer and healthier way for everyone involved.

That’s what being supportive truly means, as he’ll want what’s best for you in every aspect.

5. He Makes You Feel Beautiful

Of course, the person you love should make you feel beautiful.

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This means more than just telling you he finds you attractive. If he truly finds you beautiful, he’ll want you to feel that confidence even when he’s not around, as your beauty still exists when he’s not looking at you.

The way he compliments you should raise you up and leave you feeling radiant. He should also be complimenting more than just your appearance, as your beauty manifests in your personality and passion as much as it does your looks.

6. He’s Emotionally Intelligent

Finding an emotionally intelligent man is unfortunately difficult in this day and age. It’s a skill that takes years to develop, a skill that a lot of young men aren’t introduced to until way too later. They don’t know how to manage or cope with feelings they find unpleasant, and we’re all aware of how those unchecked emotions can manifest.

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So, if you find a man who’s already done the learning and knows how to properly identify what he’s going through, you’ve made quite the lucky catch.

7. He’s Considerate

Good people, especially good partners, should always consider the feelings of the person they’re speaking to before choosing to do or say something. Being considerate should be a core value the two of you hold when in a relationship.

A couple sitting together in a field, laughing.
Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez
Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez

However, this doesn’t mean lying to spare your partner’s feelings whenever something comes up, as that’s just disingenuous. Instead, you’ll want a man who knows the difference between needless cruelty and needed honesty. He’ll be able to tell when you need to hear the truth, even when it hurts.

8. He’s Ambitious

Just as you’re a separate person from your partner, you have your own dreams and hobbies unrelated to them, and they’re also separate from you. It’s healthy for you and your significant other to have elements about your lives that don’t involve the other, as it keeps you from becoming codependent.

A man practicing the craft of leatherwork in a shop.
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Your man should have his own wants, goals, and aspirations that he can pursue with or without you. Of course, you’re more than welcome to encourage and support these goals; just make sure you remain separable!

9. He Lets His Values Guide Him

It can take a lot of soul-seeking to solidly define and understand one’s own values. Knowing what matters to you most is important, and becomes a central element to who you are, how you interact with the world and the people you invite into your life.

A man refusing an envelope full of money being handed toward him.
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Meeting a man who’s already done the work to sort these values out for himself is a huge bonus. He won’t be relying on anyone else to guide him through new life lessons, meaning you can be a real partner to him rather than a teacher.

10. He Respects You

Overall, you need a partner who respects you. That sounds like a simple ask, but there have been plenty of cases of women who wound up with men who lack respect for them. There’s no reason that excuses this behavior. No matter how wonderful he is otherwise or how many amazing qualities he has, it’s not worth putting up with if he doesn’t respect you.

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This may seem like the bar is on the floor, I know, but basic respect is the foundation upon which a relationship is built. If things seem rocky or unstable, analyzing the respect he has for you is the first step toward diagnosing any relationship problem.

Final Judgement

Judging someone’s character can be tricky business. Unless you truly know someone inside and out, have seen how they behave around a multitude of different people, and have observed their private and public behaviors, it’s impossible to give them any sort of morality grade with 100% certainty.

A couple smiling as they dance on the street.
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But we try our best. The most important thing to examine is how they treat you, as it’s your life you’re living, and you deserve to live it being treated with love and respect by the person you wish to call your partner.

There’s no pass/fail system for relationships. If what works for you wouldn’t work for someone else, don’t sweat it because you’re not that other person, you’re you!

Daniel Mitchell-Benoit

Dan is a content writer with three years of experience under their belt, having mostly covered viral media but now shifting toward spirituality and astrology. He’s a strong believer in using one’s beliefs as a means of self-improvement and being in touch with whatever messages the universe has to offer.

He can’t wait to share his insights with a[…]