Relationships
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7 Steps To Detaching From A Codependent Relationship And Finding Freedom

It's not always easy to notice that you're falling into a codependent relationship until it's already too late. We tend to get caught up in wanting to spend time with our partners and building a life together that we forget how to be alone without them.

This is especially difficult for relationships that become toxic, but we stay in them anyway, because we don't know how to walk away. However, difficult doesn't mean impossible and when there's a will, there's a way. Here are a few ways to detach from codependent relationships.

Accepting That People Can't Be Fixed

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It's hard to not want to help out someone we care about but there's a fine line between being a good support system and treating someone as a project.

People can't be fixed by their loved ones. They have to be willing to put in the work themselves. Once you accept that, you'll realize that the only person you need to fix is yourself and you'll want to do what's best for you regardless of how it impact someone else.

Focusing On The Present

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People in codependent relationships tend to keep creating internal assumptions about what is going on with the other person's thoughts and feelings. They have a hard time focusing on the present because they're so worried about what might happen.

Ask yourself: "what makes me happy right now?" Once you take the steps to do it, the future will align and follow.

Determining What Can Change

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​Analyze what you have the power to change and what you don't. For instance, you have no control over someone else, their choices, and their reaction to yours.

However, you're in complete control of the next step, of what you want to do, of where you want to live, of what you want to keep, etc.

Identifying Patterns

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Ask yourself the hard questions like if you tend to get close to people who make you feel needed, or if you're afraid to be alone. Go back in time and identify the moments that led up to your codependency.

You might realize that they go as far back as your childhood. Maybe you weren't shown enough affection that now you overly give in the hopes of never having someone else experience that. We each have our patterns but identifying them allows us to break them.

Letting Go Of Negative Self Talk

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Don't be your own worst enemy. Maybe there are some things you could've done differently but trust that you need to make the mistake to learn from it. There is no timeline on how fast you need to get out and there's no "one way" fix.

It's hard to let go of a person you've become dependant on. Be kind to yourself as you gradually transition out of it.

Come Up With A Plan

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You might feel more at ease and in control if you know what you're doing next. This is the ideal time of taking care of the big things so that you're not left scrambling when you're overwhelmed with emotion.

Take care of banking statements so that you have your own independent funds, sign up for activities that will keep you busy and distracted from your codependent relationship, find a place to stay if you need one etc.

Find A Support System

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This might seem ironic as the way to let of one codependent relationship isn't to attach yourself to someone else instead. But, it's a good idea to remind yourself that you won't be alone without your partner.

There are other people out there who can help you through the transition until you find the courage to be okay completely on your own again.

Spirituality

The Biggest Deathbeds Regrets Shared By The Dying

It's hard to pinpoint our exact regrets as we go through life because they're constantly changing. We regret decisions in the moment but we move on and eventually, they don't seem like a big deal. But, over time, some regrets accumulate and mold into one big regret. Unfortunately, by the time we realize what it is that we value most and wish we had done differently, it's a little too late. The good news is, if you're reading this, you're likely alive and well. That means that you still have an opportunity to do something about your regrets so by the time that you're on your deathbed, you have none.

Pay attention to these biggest deathbed regerts, shared by people in their final days. They were recorded by Shannon L. Alder an author and therapist, known for her tidbits of wisdom that have been published in over 100 different books.

Click HERE to learn what Numerology says about your life using only your Birth Date.

Living True To The Self

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"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life other people expected of me."

From a very young age, we become conditioned to live to please and look good in the eyes of others. We prioritize the value of how others see us, over the way we see ourselves. We work tirelessly to make relationships work, to get promotions at work, to be seen, appreciated, and valued by strangers. We have created social networks that carry the sole purpose of seeing, and being seen. However, we end up setting unrealistic expectations and working towards unachievable standards.

We never feel good enough or stop to appreciate who we are and how far we've come. We never truly feel fulfilled or take the risks necessary to reach our highest selves, without worrying about how it affects everyone else, or what everyone will think of it. Sadly, at the end of the day, only we are responsible for our own happiness and achievements so what others think really doesn't matter.

Taking The Time To Watch Children Grow

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"I wish I took time to be with my children more when they were growing up."

Circumstantially, many parents struggle to juggle their responsibilities on top of their role to their children. They convince themselves that by working overtime, even missing their children's events is ultimately for their own good. But really no amount of extra money earned will ever measure up to the priceless moments we could have spent with our children.

In the blink of an eye, they go from children to adults and stop needing us. They get used to our absence. They never learn the value of family time because we didn't take the time to instill it in them. As parents, everything we do while our children grow up has the power to impact the people they become.

Revealing Feelings Without Fear

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"I wish I had the courage to express my feelings, without the fear of being rejected or unpopular."

The fear of rejection truly holds up back from going after our heart's desires. We get caught up in all the worst-case scenarios that we fail to take the risk and possibility live the best-case scenarios. But, isn't better to take a risk and at least find out how it plays out, then always wonder about what could have happened?

The person you ask out could reject you or could be the love of your life. The promotion you ask for could be dismissed or could be your next big break. The book you've always wanted to write could be laughed at or could be the next bestseller...You'll never know until you try.

Take a quick zodiac reading here to find out what your universe has to say about you right now.

Staying Connected With Loved Ones

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"I wish I would have stayed in touch with friends and family."

People come in and out of your life for a reason but some people are meant to stay alongside you for most of the journey if enough effort is put in to maintain and nurture those bonds. It's easy for us to get so caught up in our lives that we stop taking the time to reach out. Yet relationships are just like muscles, they need to be worked out, cared for, and nurtured.

Even the strongest bonds need to be valued. Telling someone you love that you're thinking of them can go a long way. It's an equal give and take. H uman beings are wired to crave connections with another.

Surrendered To Forgivness

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"I wish I would have forgiven someone when I had the chance."

Holding grudges is exhausting. It keeps us trapped in a cycle of resentment and frustration. It often leads us to blame and holds us back from growth. With forgiveness, on the other hand, there is freedom. We finally let go of what no longer serves us and open ourselves up to moving forward.

Forgiveness is not only for the person being forgiven but for the person offering forgiveness. It releases both parties and frees up space within them to receive new and positive beginnings. Everyone makes mistakes, we're only human, and anyone that says otherwise isn't looking at the big picture.

Expressed To People How Valuable They Are

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"I wish I would have told the people I loved the most how important they are to me."

It's incredible how much of an impact we have the power to make on one another. Think of the butterfly effect, where every little action, as small as a butterfly flapping its wings, can have enough of a reaction that could trigger a tsunami across the world.

Little gestures, as small as smiling at a stranger, holding the door open, or even just saying thank you can make or break someone's day. These gestures have even more of an impact when shared between loved ones. Let the people know around you know how much you value them, how special they are, and how big of a role they play in this world while you still can.

Tapped Into Confidence Instead Of Fear

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"I wish I would have had more confidence and tried more things, instead of being afraid of looking like a fool."

Life is all about risk. If you think about it, we're constantly living in the unknown. We have no idea what tomorrow brings We barely have control over what the next moment looks like. So much of what creates our experience is dependent on circumstances and other people.

So, at the very least, why don't we take as much control as we can over the parts that are up to us? We make all kinds of excuses for why we can't make that move, get out of a relationship or try a new career instead of actually finding out what our lives could look like. We are ultimately the sole creator of our story, so the least we could do is put more effort and take risks to write our narrative.

Understand your purpose and your potential so that you can take control of your emotions, your life, and your future by clicking HERE.

Leaving A Mark On The World

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"I wish I would have done more to make an impact in this world."

You would be surprised at how easy it is to make an impact in this world. All it takes is making an impact on one single person, who in turn will do it for another and before you know we all touch each other's lives, one way or another. To make a difference, you don't have to single-handedly change the world. But, you can start small. Help where you can, don't put it off because you're too tired or it's not the right time. When you see an opportunity take it, instead of leaving it for the next person.

Don't get caught up in an unmeaningful life. Every day is a new chance to make a difference, somewhere, somehow.

Pursuing Talents And Passions

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"I wish I would have pursued my talents and gifts."

The good news is no matter how much regret you may feel near the end of your life, at the very last moment, none of it will matter anymore:

"As a hospice worker, I’ve had the honor of being with many a soul as they’ve left their bodies. At the moment of death, with those who have any power of communication, regret seems a distant 'human' concept that really no longer applies. I recall a gentleman who woke just briefly enough from days-long unconsciousness to say his own earthly name with the most beautiful mix of love, compassion, and bemusement. He spoke it as one might speak to a newborn baby or beloved pet, with zero judgment, and certainly no regret, at just the moment he passed​" - Wendora15 / Reddit​

Taken Risks Instead Of Remaining Comfortable

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"I wish I would have experienced more, instead of settling for a boring life filled with routine, mediocrity, and apathy."

Let this be your reminder to live every day fully while you can, to write off any regrets, and to take risks and watch them pay off. But, at the end of the day, appreciate what you have done, how far you've come, and the incredible person that you are,

"In my experience though, despite their regrets, many of the dying seem to get a look in their eyes right at the very end, when I think they are finally realizing the futility of struggle and surrendering to what Is. Knowing there is nothing left to do. For a moment you know they have transcended the mind and are free." - receding / Reddit

Are You Living While You're Alive?

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Are you still searching for a life without regret? Tap into the 4,000-year-old science Numerology to find out what it can reveal about your life path.

That's right, the numerology of your birth date, can help you discover detailed information about who you truly are and what is hiding in your subconscious. You won't believe how accurate it is

Unlock the messages hidden in your Personality Code now with your free personalized video report!