3 Ways To Identify And End Fake Relationships
I think we've all seen and been in fake relationships in the past. These are relationships built around money, lust, and sometimes even just superficial emotional security - the people in it don't want to be alone! I think the result of these kinds of relationships is that nasty 50% divorce rate you see in many places. So how do we make sure we don't end up in fake relationships?
1. First, know the difference between being comfortable and real love.
For a lot of people, the reality is that they don't want to be alone. This is the first mistake in the fake relationship - the people in them haven't learned to love themselves yet. Before you enter into a relationship, you need to be truly happy with yourself. You can't enter into love a broken person yourself. Your partner will need you to be strong. Many times, we find ourselves in fake relationships just because it's comfortable. It may be time to let it go.
2. Know that real love is selfless.
This is another important clue. Love doesn't want anything. You aren't here to enhance the life of your partner and they aren't here to enhance your life either. Love comes with no agenda, no goals, and doesn't treat anyone like a means to an end. Lovers don't think about ways to benefit from each other. They just want to be with each other.
3. Know that most people aren't really in love.
When you're told that you're loved, oxytocin and serotonin flood the body almost immediately. When you revisit this thought repeatedly, these chemicals are released again and again, even well after the event. As a result, just the thought of being in love is awesome to us. But we're only thinking about being in love. Are we really?
You have to look hard at that idea. Your partner may say they love you, but do they act like they love you? Do they engage in the actions of real love? Only you can tell for sure, but know that many people aren't really in love.