5 Reasons Why The Silent Treatment Is The Preferred Weapon Of Narcissists
If there's one thing that narcissists have in common it's that they only want things done their way. It's their way or the highway. So, when they don't get what they want, they're willing to go to any lengths to get it.
From the perspective of their victims, they often end up apologizing for things they didn't do, or even the things done against them just to get their narccisst to talk to them again.
Milan Popovic / Unsplash
Are you familiar with the term "stonewalling"? It's a tool that narcissists use to punish someone who didn't act exactly like they wanted them to.
Stonewalling itself is the act of refusing to communicate with another person. Narcissists will Intentionally shut down during an argument. It'll make the person across from them feel completely insignificant and frustrated. Stay tuned to find out how this helps them.
Shifting The Focus
Stephen Kraakmo / Usplash
Narcissists will avoid taking accountability at all costs. It's a huge hit to their ego to admit that they were ever wrong and they simply can't bear it. Instead, they'll find a way to absolve themselves from any blame. They do this by shifting the attention away from themselves and placing it on someone else.
Now all of a sudden you feel like the crazy person who needs them to talk.
Break You from The Inside
Ali Khalil / Unsplash
The silence treatment has the power to completely change you from the inside out. It starts to break you gradually by making you feel angry, lost, confused, desperate, insignificant, and invisible all at the same time.
The pain of having the person you love most stonewalling you and acting as if you don't exist causes personality-level destruction. You change without even realizing it.
Take Back Control
Anete Lusina / Pexels
When a narcissist feels like they are at risk of being left or reprimanded for their actions they start to feel a loss of control and they don't like it. Narcissists thrive on being able to control and manipulate others. In fact, they're usually quite good at it.
The silent treatment gives them back a way to take control back and create change. They now can rework the interaction in their favor and punish their partner. That makes their partner crave validation and fight for that instead. the narcissist has no actual desire to form a connection, they simply want to have their wants met. The silent treatment forces their partner to do that.
Change The Power Dynamic
Keira Burt / Pexels
All a sudden when you're on the receiving end of the silent treatment, your mind becomes locked in a battle to win them back. This is a person that supposedly loves and cares about you and when they start to withhold it, they threaten to take away your ability to be loved forever, or at least try to convince you that's the case.
In a way, the narcissist is taking the spotlight away from you and shining it on themselves. They want to appear like the center of your life so that you're too afraid to lose them. Instead, they manipulate you into obsessing over what you can do to earn them back.
It's All About Manipulation
Alex Green / Unsplash
If you are being the silent treatment take the time to process that this is all an act of manipulation against you. Don't fall for it. If someone needs to make you beg for their love then they definitely don't deserve yours.
Communication is essential and if they can withhold it from you, then they're making it clear that their intention is not to reach a resolution nor is your relationship their priority.