They say that we don’t get to choose who we fall in love with or that love comes when you’re least expecting it. While there is some truth to that, it’s not entirely accurate. Love is a choice that we make every day for ourselves and for our partners. You both need to wake up and be willing to put the effort into each other. When you take love for granted and assume it to be this magical concept that only happens by fate, you give up your power and the relationship goes stale. This is often how two people who were once madly in love fall apart.
If you’re wondering whether your partner is pulling away or if you feel like you’re the one who is falling out of love, pay attention to these signs, as confirmed by science.
For personalized relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.
Putting Friends First
When two people are madly in love, their brain chemicals treat time together like being on drugs. They start to associate experiences shared together as a reward system that they just can’t get enough of through their serotonin and dopamine receptors. The longer they’re together, the more they’re bonded and the feelings release oxytocin, the cuddle hormone.
When one of you decides that they would rather pick friends over their partner over and over, then that’s a sign that their brain no longer associates their partner with positive feelings that feel good.
Physically Distancing Themselves
Once you’re bonded and attached to one another, you tend to want to cuddle and feel close to each other. This makes you not only feel connected but also safe and calms down your nervous system. You associate your partner with home
When one of you never even seems to be in the mood to even hold hands anymore, then it’s worth investigating the underlying or unaddressed stressors in the relationship that are causing one of you to pull away. Find out why they’re not in the mood. Lesli M. W. Doares, a marriage consultant and coach explains: “It also may mean that he is no longer interested in meeting your intimacy needs because he isn’t invested in the relationship any longer.”
Avoiding All Confrontations
Two people who love each other should be able to provide one another with the space to address their needs and express when there feel a disconnection. This shouldn’t necessarily come off as a confrontation but rather as effective communication that leads to change and keeps the relationship going strong.
If every time “What’s wrong?” is met with a shrug and brushed off with standoffish behavior, then it’s a sign that the relationship is losing its value. “A lack of communication will keep you from fully connecting,” says Francesca Di Meglio, a Newlyweds expert. “If that constantly happens, you might lose touch. If you don’t nip that problem in the bud when it starts, you could grow apart.”
Avoiding Eye Contact
Eyes truly are the windows to the soul as they can speak their own language and communicate with nothing but a glance. Avoiding eye contact is usually done out of fear or insecurity even if it’s done subconsciously. In an effort to protect us, our body sometimes tries to help us avoid uncomfortable or stressful situations altogether.
Being unable to make eye contact is a sign you’re hiding sometimes, such as your true feelings, in an effort to avoid conflict. However the more you avoid it, the more of a threat it will feel, and the more likely you are to fall deeper into a fight or flight response and increase anxiety.
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True Colors Come out
When you’re falling out of love, the rose-colored glasses come off and you start to see your partner for who they truly are. You might even get fixated on the flaws that they start overshadowing the qualities you once fell for. The love story is no longer a fairytale and the reality of having to live with that sets in.
Being in love with someone means you love the good and the bad. In fact, a study found that small quirks can actually make a person fall deeper in love than physical attributes can. When that ability is lost, the love fades but that’s not to say that it can’t be re-ignited.
Wondering If The Grass Is Greener Somewhere Else
When you love someone, you neurologically build a slight obsession with them. You can’t help but think about them first thing in the morning and last thing at night. So if you notice your mind suddenly starting to wander to the possibility of other lovers, then you might be losing your faith in the relationship.
While we may all have some kind of shadow of a doubt that the grass is greener somewhere else, when we love someone we make the choice to take the risk to only water our side of the grass and see what happens. When we stop watering it to wander off to the other side, it dies.
The Future Is Unclear
Two people who are deeply in love and in the right relationship get excited about the possibility together. Innately, seeing a future together is based on our primal instinct to have the best odds of healthy offspring. While this may no longer always be the driving force of being in love, it does still affect our functioning today and is part of our inherited identity. For example, when we kiss, we are looking for a mate that best matches our genetic make-up.
A huge element of a successful relationship is the excitement of building a future together. If you can’t see that, then you won’t see a point in progressing the relationship. Your mind will make peace with the fact that you’re in a doomed relationship anyway.
It’s Okay To Want Someone Else
In any relationship, always look at how you feel and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them?
Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it’s much more than that. If you’re not with the right person than you both deserve to find the kind of love that feels just right. If you want to know more on what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on date of birth.
For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.
Aida Maratova is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives