When we think about narcissistic behavior, we automatically think about the way they have no regard for anyone but themselves. They only see value in their own presence, writing off just about everyone else, seeing even their friends as tools rather than people.
While that's all true and the correct thoughts to be having when considering a narcissist, if you look a layer deeper, you might find that there are qualities one can learn from a narcissist and adopt into one's own life. You'll have to make some changes, but you may be surprised at the benefits these traits could have.
Narcissists can appear in any stage of life, but are shockingly common in childhood, leading to trauma that can continue to affect you all the way into your adult life. To learn what type of trauma has been poisoning your life, take this simple quiz that can help unlock the path toward healing.
There's no doubt or room for debate when it comes to the fact that narcissists cause immense harm to those around them. They can leave somebody traumatized for years, decades even, using manipulation tactics that dig deep into a victim's psyche.
These aren't exemplary people, but they do have some traits that could be considered beneficial to adopt, especially if you've been the subject of a narcissist's torment in the past.
By studying their more confidence-boosting behaviors and spinning them into something less harmful, you can learn to grow far from their reaches and their control.
1. Narcissists Put Themselves First
When was the last time you placed yourself first? Narcissists seem to do it effortlessly, always putting their needs and desires ahead of everything else. While we don't want to mirror their self-absorbed ways, there are healthy ways to prioritize ourselves too. It's healthy to recognize your worth and know you're just as important as anyone else.
You shouldn't feel guilty about valuing yourself and seeking positive experiences. Unlike manipulators who harm others to get what they want, you know better than to put others down in order to uplift yourself. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be putting any work into boosting your confidence, though. Consider focusing on self-care and self-preservation for a change.
Personal And Communal Care
Examine your relationships with care. While you might not view relationships transactionally like a narcissist does, it's wise to let go of toxic individuals and nurture connections that truly appreciate you.
Take a step back and tend to the areas of your life where you feel neglected. Show yourself some compassion and attention. Reduce the emotional labor you put into others and redirect some of it to your well-being.
This journey is about finding balance and ensuring you receive the respect and reciprocity you deserve. By taking action to improve your life and self-esteem, you'll grow stronger and build the resilience needed to face whatever comes your way. Remember, you have the power to make a positive change in your life, so go for it!
2. Narcissists Don't Wait For Others To Change
You know what's really frustrating about narcissists? They never doubt themselves. It's like they're champions of their own twisted version of reality, and you, unfortunately, end up being their prime target for distortion. They'll devalue you based on their skewed views, slapping labels on you to justify their horrible actions while avoiding any responsibility for their mess. It's as if they punish you for things that only exist in their messed-up minds.
But here's the thing, survivors tend to rationalize these cruel behaviors. Instead of seeing it for what it is, they try to find excuses for the narcissist's terrible actions, as that's what they've been manipulated into doing. That's where we need a reality check! No more rationalizing, minimizing, or overly forgiving their toxic behavior.
They Bully You Into A Role
Narcissists are masters at causing harm and not caring about the damage done. They won't change, so why wait around for it? Unlike them, you can see through their destructive patterns without any distortion. It's a testament to your ability to face reality head-on, without twisting the story around to build a version of reality where they're in the right.
So take back your power, stop buying into their illusions, and label the narcissist accurately for what they are. You're not the one who needs to change, it's them and their twisted ways. Stay strong and grounded in the truth, and you'll navigate through this chaos with clarity and resilience.
3. Narcissists Are Proud Of Their Achievements
Narcissists love to pat themselves on the back for anything they've accomplished, real or imagined. It's like they never miss a chance to feel superior, whether they've earned it or not. However, as established, they live in a world of delusion, delusion you don't have to follow or subscribe to.
Take a step back and ask yourself this: do you downplay your own worth because toxic people have taught you to shrink? Do you struggle to recognize your own accomplishments, even immense ones, because a narcissist made you feel like nothing you did was good enough? It's time to break free from that! Embrace healthy pride and acknowledge your true strengths and achievements without being boastful.
Lifting Yourself Up
See, the key is not to dim anyone else's light or put them down like the narcissists do. You can own your positive qualities and talents with genuine confidence and joy. It's all about being authentic and unapologetically yourself.
Don't let the narcissists' inflated egos make you feel small. You've got every right to shine and celebrate your accomplishments and the smarts to do so without turning into a self-absorbed jerk. Keep it real, stay humble, and let your genuine confidence speak for itself. That's the kind of superiority worth having!
4. Narcissists Explore Their Options
Narcissists and other toxic characters love to play games, being deceitful and staged just to stir up jealousy. They play every angle, every field, and don't feel guilty about it. We're not copying their toxic antics, though. Instead, we're flipping the script and learn from their willingness to explore other options, that will be our ticket to freedom.
Don't confine yourself to seeing the narcissist as your one and only option. They're not and never will be worth it. There are so many amazing, empathic people out there who'll bring joy to your life, not misery. The world beyond the narcissist is full of opportunities waiting for you to seize.
On The Outside
Sure, toxic relationships can feel isolating, with the narcissist being the only "savior" they've conditioned you to believe in, but it's time to break free from that trap. Step out and explore the beauty that exists beyond the narcissist's influence.
Build yourself a solid support network, go on adventures, and chase those dreams! The world's a big place, and it's ready for you to embrace all the goodness it has to offer. Leave the toxic games behind and thrive in your own way. Through exploration and seeing what life beyond a narcissist is like, that's how you'll grow to be above them, robbing them of their power.
5. Narcissists Enforce Their Boundaries
Boundaries, or what narcissists call boundaries, are a twisted mess. They use this term to silence their abuse victims, dodge accountability, and bulldoze over others' limits, all while forcing their desires on everyone else. It's a power trip, not genuine boundaries.
Either deep inside or outwardly, you're no pushover. You've got the power to set real, healthy boundaries with the same ferocity as the narcissist does. Forget their toxic version, yours will be fair and justified.
See, the narcissist uses their so-called "boundaries" as a shield against facing consequences. Well, it's time for you to wield your own boundaries like a weapon of self-defense. No one gets to demean you without facing the music.
Push Them Away
Whether it means walking away from the narcissist or even taking legal action, you've got to protect and stand up for yourself against these toxic types. Don't let them trample all over you any longer, it's time to reclaim your power and safety.
Remember, boundaries aren't about control or entitlement like a narcissist might think. They're about safeguarding your well-being and holding others accountable. Draw that line in the sand and watch how it empowers you to take charge of your life.
While no one should ever be encouraged to be a narcissist, be it in the traditional manipulative sense or the more general 'self absorbed' sort of way, that doesn't mean all of their traits are worth writing off entirely. Things like confidence, defense of one's actions, and a refusal to bend to the whims of others are all great things to have if they're used to prop one's self up rather than knock others down.
This isn't to say you should be keeping bad company on the off chance you'll learn some sort of lesson from them. Keep yourself safe first and foremost. It just means that in a narcissist's behaviors, you can potentially find your escape, too.
If you've ever had your confidence whittled down by a narcissist, you know that it can be difficult to build that back up. No matter the reason or cause of your self-doubt, there are ways to overcome it and gain control once again.
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