The Detrimental Reasons Why Empaths Attract Narcissist Partners
Having an empathetic nature is almost like having a super power. It’s ability to read behavior without words, to pick up on someone else’s thoughts before they share them, to understand their feelings when they don’t, and to pick up on their body language when their words don’t match.
However, with every gift, comes a curse. Empaths are empathetic to a fault. They struggle with boundaries and often excuse red flags. These are some of the reasons why even with the best intentions, empaths can attract manipulative partners.
They Fill Up Half Empty Glasses
Manipulative people have a really skewed view of the world. Their glass if often half empty and they’re trying to fill it by any means necessary. They feel as though they need to extort their demands and that this is the only way they’ll get what they want.
Once they see that as an empath, you have a giving nature, they’ll try to take as much water out of your cup as they possibly can. They end up leaving you high and dry once you’re all drained out.
They See The Good In Everyone
Empath have an ability to see the good even in the worst in people. They’re able to put themselves in other people’s shoes and understand where they’re coming from.
However, they end up justifying wrongful actions and feeling guilty if they don’t take responsibility for someone else.This often acts as a blinder to the red flags and makes them easier to manipulate.
They Take The Blame
Empath often have an easier time taking the blame themselves, then painting someone else in a bad light. Even when they’re the ones who are wronged they’ll convince themselves that it’s because they didn’t see it coming, or didn’t do enough to prevent it from happening.
This often gets them stuck in toxic relationships where they unknowingly excuse wrongful behavior and allow manipulators to continue to push the boundaries against them.
They Form Trauma Bonds
Manipulative partners, like narcissists for example, tend to form relationships with extreme highs then extreme lows. The push and pull nature of these types of relationships can generate a trauma bond.
This bond makes the empath feel like it’s impossible to leave the relationship. They feel like their partner might completely break without them, and that they will never find someone else with whom they share as strong of a bond. They hold on to the highs, even when the lows are destructive.
They Forgive Easily
Just like empaths are skilled with feelings, manipulators have a way with words. They can lie through their teeth, and tell the empaths a sob story that guilts the empath into forgiving them every time.
They know exactly how to play on the empath’s heart strings to take advantage of their nurturing nature. They put the responsibility on the empath to “fix” them rather than try to do it themselves.
They Are Good listeners
As manipulators love to boost their ego, they tend to talk a lot. They also tell a lot of stories to make it harder to catch their lies and deceit. On the other hand, empaths are some of the best listeners.
They retain information because they care about what the other person has to say. However, because they’re so trusting, this makes it easier for the manipulator to gaslight their memories when they attempt to call back events and conversations.
They Don’t Like Confrontation
Empaths have a really hard time risking to upset someone else, even when it means putting their own feeling aside. They tend to avoid confrontation and look for more peaceful ways to put issues aside, even when it’s necessary.
However, this leaves a lot of issues unsolved. They get pushed under rug but keep escalating. The more issues pile on, the harder it is to detect the underlying cause. The less they’re able to fix, the more manipulation they are subjected to.
They Put Everyone Else First
Empaths want to help and make the world a better place so badly, that they are almost naive to it. They put everyone else first even when they don’t deserve it.
This often leaves them feeling burned out and gets them caught in situations where they feel obligated. They struggle to say no to favors and requests which leads others to take advantage of their kindness and generosity.
Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives