6 Things That Make Becoming A Better Person So Hard

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Anybody who has set themselves on the track toward growth knows it’s not an easy ride. It’s rife with uncomfortable feelings of doubt, fear, anxiety, and stress. However, anyone who has made it far enough in that same ride knows that all those feelings are worth it for where you’ll get to eventually.

There are a number of common issues that can arise while working towards becoming a better version of yourself, things that will grind your evolution to a halt. Though it may feel like these stoppages come from nowhere, they all have a root cause, and discovering that cause will help you overcome them.

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Better Futures For All

A common goal that I want to believe most of humanity shares is the constant strive to be better. Even if we think we’ve attained a great sense of confidence, self-fulfillment, and enlightenment in whatever way that means for us, that doesn’t mean there isn’t still room to grow.

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We can always take in new worldviews, learn about those around us, and continue to humble ourselves so our blessed state of self-realization doesn’t turn into overconfidence or boasting.

A Sudden Halt

Of course, that’s easier said than done sometimes. No matter where we are on our personal journeys, there are roadblocks that pop up that prevent us from blazing forward. Sometimes this appears to happen more often when we’re striving for positive change, a challenge to prove that we really want it, a means of earning and working for a better future for ourselves.

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Below are some of the common elements that prevent us from continuing down the path to our better selves. Understanding what’s standing in your way is the first step to overcoming it after all.

Evolutionary Instincts

Though we humans are intelligent creatures, we’re still bound to our innate instincts, which we’ve held onto for thousands of years. These instincts still exist within us as they’re integral to our survival, keeping us away from danger whenever possible.

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That doesn’t mean it’s always right, though. We aren’t fighting for our survival the same way our ancient ancestors were, but our instincts don’t always understand that, meaning they get triggered by mundane things they perceive as threats.

That’s why further growth sometimes feels scary or wrong. Our instincts urge us to stay in the comfortable, safe state we’ve been existing in, but we all know that staying in our comfort zone forever won’t do us any good.

Family Dynamics

Our family, as a collective, has a lot of power over us, let alone the individual members. They spend years raising us, so we continue to feel indebted to them even decades after we’ve begun caring for ourselves, even though no family relationship should be a transactional one.

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But, because of that feeling of guilt that arises when we consider going against what our parents especially had hoped for us, we can feel trapped by their expectations. A common example of this is pursuing a career your parents want for you rather than one you feel passionate about because you feel like you owe it to them.

This type of conflict can manifest in a number of ways, all of which are equally effective at keeping someone down. Your life is your own, no matter what sacrifices your family has made for you. You never asked them to do that, so why are you paying them back for it?

Pop Culture

It should come as no surprise that the media we consume, even unwillingly, has an effect on how we navigate the world. Pop culture has an immense impact on society at large, so even if we don’t actively participate in much of what’s considered popular, it comes back around to affect us through others.

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This is especially true when it comes to social media, which has been influencing how people feel about themselves and their place in the world since its conception. Not to mention that the media at large will do anything it can to manipulate us into spending more money.

It’s nigh impossible to escape the clutches of mass media in today’s world, but remaining as aware as possible of its influences is the best way to avoid feeling swayed.

Steering Away From Unfamiliarity

As the saying goes, we fear what we don’t understand, and that’s not entirely false. Even if we don’t actively register it, most of us tend to stray away from or feel uneasy at the prospect of new, unknown ventures. After all, continuing to do what we’ve always done means we can predict the outcome, which feels much, much safer than trying anything new.

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This does tie back to our evolutionary instincts, as much of our ingrained, unexplainable fears do. All we can do to fight against it is to push against the initial anxiety we feel and step forth into something new. Again, easier said than done, but the more you do it, the more confident you’ll feel in the future!

Effects Of Trauma

The trauma we faced at any point in our lives, but namely as children, can leave us with a number of traits we wish we could let go of. Low self-esteem, a need for control, being a people-pleaser, perfectionism, fear of failure, and the list goes on. These are all things that can weigh us down, making the path to betterment feel insurmountably long and difficult.

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There is hope, though. These are all things we can battle and rise against with enough time, help, and, most importantly, patience. Simply ‘getting over’ stuff like this is no quick or easy task, but the freedom you’ll feel after being able to shed, or even manage, any of the effects that continue to plague your mind will be unmatched.

Being Inert Creatures

Human beings are inert creatures at heart, meaning we’re always moving. This is more thanks to the march of time than anything we actively choose, but it remains true. We will continue to walk down the path before us until we physically can’t any longer.

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Sometimes, though, our path turns into a circle. We’re still walking it, but it’s not going anywhere. The movement continues without progress being made.

That’s where the blockage is. We cannot see that we’re in a rut because we consider getting through the days at all a feat within itself. It’s okay to walk this circle for a while until you find confidence in your stride again, but know that you cannot live there forever. We are not built to remain so stagnant.

Identification Matters

Like with many things in life, the first step to overcoming these issues preventing your path to fulfillment from continuing is realizing that they exist. Without knowing what exact problems we’re dealing with, how can we expect to solve them?

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If you’ve identified what it is that’s in your way, a good next step is consulting others. Speak to loved ones, people who know you best, or professionals who can help you brainstorm ways to face this issue.


Yes, I said face. None of the problems listed above can be dealt with by ignoring them or pushing them away. To make any real progress and to assure that these issues won’t just come back to haunt you, you need to deal with them in their entirety.

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It sounds scary, but when you’re on the path to betterment, what doesn’t? You can never grow if you constantly avoid facing your fears. Once you feel the strength, confidence, and release that comes with tackling something you’re scared of, you’ll be more motivated to do it again in the future!

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Daniel Mitchell-Benoit

Dan is a content writer with three years of experience under their belt, having mostly covered viral media but now shifting toward spirituality and astrology. He’s a strong believer in using one’s beliefs as a means of self-improvement and being in touch with whatever messages the universe has to offer.

He can’t wait to share his insights with a[…]