7 Ways To Spot A Love Bomber In Your Life
We've all experienced it, a love that seemed so perfect at the start, like something out of a fairytale, only for it to all fall apart later when we realize this person we love is not as great as they made themselves seem. Don't worry, you're not wrong or unintelligent for not having seen it. They do this on purpose.
Love bombers are more common than people think, and they can appear in any one of our lives. To protect ourselves, we have to keep our eyes open for the warning signs.
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All At Once
Love bombing is a term that has gained significant attention in recent years, appearing all across social media as people begin to realize just how common it is. It refers to a manipulative tactic where one person overwhelms another with excessive affection, flattery, and attention at the beginning of their relationship to gain control over them.
While it may initially seem like a whirlwind romance, love bombing can have detrimental effects on one's emotional well-being, often leading to extremely unhealthy relationship dynamics. How can you be on the lookout for a love bomber in your life? Let's find out.
1. Over-The-Top Displays Of Affection Early On
One of the most telling signs of a love bomber is their tendency to shower you with an overwhelming amount of affection and attention right from the start. In fact, that's kind of the conceit of love bombing. This person may compliment you constantly, send you tons of messages throughout the day, and make grand romantic gestures that seem too good to be true.
Love bombers often use these tactics to create a sense of dependency. You'll feel valued, but you'll become hooked on this attention, attention that can become suffocating or be later used as a means of control. It's important to take a step back and evaluate whether the relationship is progressing at a healthy pace or if it's moving too quickly.
2. Rapid Relationship Progression
Another red flag to watch out for is the rapid progression of the relationship. Love bombers often push for commitment and exclusivity very early on, making you feel like you've found your soulmate in a matter of days or weeks. They'll want to talk about the future, make plans for long-term commitments, and even discuss moving in together or getting married.
While it's natural to feel excited about a new relationship, it's important to be mindful of the pace at which things are moving. A healthy relationship typically develops gradually, allowing both partners to get to know each other and build a strong foundation before making any super serious moves. Moving fast isn't always bad, but it could be, so remain vigilant.
3. Words Vs. Deeds
Love bombers often make grand promises and declarations of love, but their actions may not always match their words. They may say all the right things to make you feel special, but their behavior may be inconsistent or contradictory. For example, they may promise to always be there for you but then disappear for days without any explanation.
It's important to trust your instincts here. If something feels off or if their actions don't match their words, it may be a sign that they're not being genuine with you. You have to hold your partner accountable here, no one deserves a pass for behavior like this.
4. Isolating You
Love bombers often try to isolate you from your support system, making it difficult for you to seek advice or perspective from others. They may discourage you from spending time with friends and family, or they may create conflicts that make it difficult for you to maintain those relationships. This isolation can make you more dependent on them and can make it harder for you to see the situation clearly.
Make an effort to keep your connections with friends and family and to seek their input regarding the love bomber. If you notice that your partner is trying to distance you from your loved ones, speak up immediately. That's red flag behavior.
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5. Using Guilt To Control
Love bombers often use manipulation to control your actions and to make you feel responsible for their happiness. They may make you feel guilty for not spending enough time with them, for not reciprocating their affection in the right way, or for not meeting their expectations.
This can create a sense of obligation to them, making it difficult for you to assert your own needs and boundaries. They want you to only ever consider their own feelings, not your own, leaving you a husk of your former self, something without needs or wants outside of them. It's unacceptable, cruel, and not something you should ever take.
6. Setting You Up, Then Knocking You Down
Love bombers often create a cycle of making you feel special and valued, only to suddenly withdraw their affection and attention. This can create a sense of confusion and insecurity, making you feel like you need to work harder to regain their approval.
This cycle of idealization and devaluation can be emotionally draining and can make it difficult for you to feel secure in the relationship. Recognizing this pattern and understanding that it's a manipulative tactic will help you escape it sooner before the love bomber gets their claws in you fully.
7. Emotional Manipulation
Emotional manipulation and gaslighting are common tactics used by love bombers to control and influence their partners. Once they're done with the love bombing phase, they may make you doubt your own perceptions and feelings, making you feel like you are overreacting or being unreasonable.
This can create a sense of confusion and make it difficult for you to trust your own instincts.They do this so they can exert easier control over you. If you don't trust yourself, surely you can trust them, right? Never waver from your beliefs; hold true to them. You aren't lying; they are.
You're Stronger Than Them
Recognizing the signs of a love bomber involves a lot more than just seeing the love bombing. After you make it through that phase, these people just become manipulators, and that can be hard to spot after you've spent days, weeks, or even months being treated like royalty.
It doesn't matter how nice they've been to you in the past or how much love they appeared to show you. If they're mistreating you, lying to you, or manipulating you now, that's still a problem, one you don't deserve to put up with.
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