How many times per day do you find yourself apologizing to people? Try to think about every single “sorry” that comes out of your mouth on an average day.
First on the way into work, when your hand lightly bumps a stranger’s, then perhaps when you go to speak with a coworker or your boss about something, “Sorry to bother you John…”, and then again in the elevator as the door begins to close and must be held for you.
The list goes on and on, most of us finding that we probably say “sorry” at least 10 or 15 times every single day.
Why is this such a deeply ingrained habit for so many of us?
One theory explains that in our modern culture, the concept of rudeness is so loathsome to us, particularly for women, that we feel a deep seated need to excuse ourselves, to disclaim any possible rudeness before it even takes place.
We also do this as a quick and easy way to express humility or submissiveness to another. Sometimes we say it simply to avoid any and all conflict in the most basic and convenient way.
Here are 4 reasons explaining why we persistent and possibly compulsive apologizers should stop saying sorry all the time, maybe even all together.
1. It degrades the value of a real apology.
Apologizing can be a powerful thing. It can mend friendships and show a willingness to be humbled and admit wrongdoing when applied properly.
But when we go around constantly apologizing for every tiny inconvenience we come across, it becomes a simple force of habit and loses all of it’s meaning and sincerity.
You shouldn’t be saying sorry for things that are clearly not under your control or not your fault.
Express your frustration, sadness, or empathy in a different, more specific way when these things happen.
It will be more genuine and your apologies will still hold enough value in the future to be taken seriously.