Sometimes finding the right partner is an incredibly hard thing to do, especially when your confidence isn’t exactly plentiful and your sense of self-worth is lacking.
When we see ourselves as not worthy of love, we tend to pick partners who are incredibly wrong for us.
Partners who abuse us, manipulate us, hurt us, and degrade us–all because they’re toxic people and we don’t think we deserve any better.
Well, we do deserve better. Everyone on this planet is worthy of true, unconditional love. Unfortunately, it’s not always obvious to us when we’re being abused (because we think it’s normal).
If your partner does any of these five things, he or she is an emotional psychopath and you need to think about ditching the relationship altogether.
They have a tendency to ‘gaslight’ you
Gaslighting is a term that refers to when an abuser purposely lies about things or spins information to make you question your reality.
The term comes from a 1938 stage play in which a husband “attempts to convince his wife and others that she is insane by manipulating small elements of their environment and insisting that she is mistaken, remembering things incorrectly, or delusional when she points out these changes.”
If your partner denies any and all wrongdoing by simply shifting the blame onto you, they’re just trying to make you doubt yourself so that they can continue to abuse your trust.
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They degrade and demean you
Most emotional psychopaths are broken on the inside. It’s their own insecurity and lack of self-esteem that makes them want to bring others down to their level.
They will try to break your spirit and make you feel worthless so that they can influence your thoughts and behaviors. This makes you think that you need them more than you really do.
They like to shift the blame to you
Emotional psychopaths aren’t keen on being held accountable for any of their poor behaviors, which usually means that it’s always someone else’s fault.
They like to put on a charismatic and charming persona when shifting blame. They could talk about whatever problem the two of you are having, but instead they simply say it’s your fault and call it a day.
Their own poor circumstances aren’t their fault, either
Just as they like to make you think that every fight and argument you’ve ever had is your fault, they also like to make you think that their own crappy life problems are because of things that you do.
If they’re not doing well at their job, it’s your fault. If they somehow found themselves in jail, it’s your fault. They wasted all of their money? Your fault again.
They try to keep you away from others who might realize what’s happening
Abusers know that not everyone is weak and easily manipulated like their partners.
So, when their partners start talking to others about what’s going on in the relationship, there’s a good chance someone else will figure out what’s going on. And they can’t be having that.
If your partner regularly tells you to stay away from friends and family members, it’s because they’re trying to keep you away from anyone who will disrupt their abusive tendencies.
They will turn you against your friends and family, just so they can keep you under their reign of terror.
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Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives