“As Someone Who Had Pretty Privilege And Is Now Fat” A Bartender’s Journey To Self Love

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Do some people get treated differently based on the way that they look? Do pretty people get treated better? What do we even consider to be “pretty”? These are questions that we might not have affirmative answers to but can base our answers on others’ experiences.

For instance, take a look at Cassidy’s story, a 28-year-old bartender who once experienced “pretty privilege.” Then, everything changed when she gained weight.

What Is ‘Pretty Privilege?

pretty woman sits against yellow wall

Atikh Bana / Unsplash

Atikh Bana / Unsplash

“Pretty Privilege” is the idea that the people we deem as attractive, either relatively or per society’s beauty standards, have an easier life than those who are not attractive. For example, they’re able to get away with more or are straight-up-handed opportunities.

In fact, attractive people are seen as more intelligent. “Pretty” people tend to be more popular, have better grades, more positive reviews at work, and even greater chances of advancing their careers.

“My Whole Life Changed”: Cassidy’s Story As a Bartender

cassidy holds pineapple drink

body_positive_bartender / Instagram

body_positive_bartender / Instagram

Cassidy (@body_positive_bartender) responded to a Tik Tok video asking for people who once had pretty privilege but are now fat to share their experiences. Cassidy explained “the way you look influences it a lot,” especially in the service industry.

This can be in the tips she gets or how people treat her but there’s no denying that it varies depending on good-looking they consider you. Cassidy mostly noticed the difference when she returned to work after the pandemic with a heavier weight.

Cassidy Struggled With Her Health

Cassidy explains in the video that she didn’t always weigh the same. Cassidy struggled with her health, and with eating. She is now recovering and used the pandemic to develop better eating habits.

However, this caused her to put on weight. She just didn’t expect her whole life to change in the way that people treated her.

“People Don’t Even Look You In Eye Anymore”

Drink being poured at the bar

Jia Jia Shum / Unsplash

Jia Jia Shum / Unsplash

Cassidy explains “people are not nice to you, especially men.” Cassidy sobbed as she shares that she would walk up to customers, asking them how they’re doing, and while in the past they’d be friendly back and engage in conversation, now they want nothing more but to ask for their order.

Customers don’t even bother to be polite with small talk. They simply act like she is only there to serve them.

“Please Raise Your Hand If You’d Like To Willingly Live As A Fat Person”

Cassidy cries in tiktok video

body_positive_bartender / TikTok

body_positive_bartender / TikTok

For people who deny that this is what happens, Cassidy says that they would never willingly want to live as a fat person. Cassidy explains that this makes her feel hopeless and she wonders if she’ll ever be worth more than her looks.

On the bright side, her video has gained more than 1.5 million views in a matter of days. She wasn’t alone. Many related to her experience and shared their own, with one writing: “my weight has fluctuated all my life. I am 100% treated nicer when I weigh less.”

Higher Perspectives Author

Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives