Bride Asks Internet If She’s Wrong For Not Wanting Disabled Cousin At Her Wedding
If you've ever attended a wedding at all, it's likely that you received some sort of restriction going in. They don't want anyone matching the bridal party's colors, you're only allowed to bring partners as your plus one, or the general wedding rule everyone knows, no wearing white to someone else's marriage.
Most of these small rules make sense, but there are still some couples who go a little overboard when planning their big day, so much so that they wind up insulting people they want to come.
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Their Perfect Day
Over the years, there have been plenty of stories about wedding planning and the unreasonable demands being made by the soon-to-be couple. These demands are often made by the bride, granting her the title of 'bridezilla' as people react to her outlandish wishes for her big day.
This story is no different, causing people online to react in shock when they hear just what this bride wanted to pull.
It begins with her telling this story herself, asking people online if she's in the wrong for requesting this.
An Added Restriction
In an anonymous post written on Reddit, the bride explained that she and her fiancé planned for their wedding to be childfree, meaning no one was allowed to bring their kids. There wasn't any immediate issues as many of their friends and family didn't have kids or were happy to get someone to watch them, so all was well.
However, under this 'no children' rule, the bride also wanted to include her 20-year-old autistic cousin, banning her from attending the wedding.
A Child In Her Eyes
The bride's aunt and uncle, parents of the cousin in question, were "very upset" by the request.
"She is what they call 'high-functioning', which means she can talk and wash/dress herself, and she has some friends," the post explained. "She graduated from high school a couple years ago and is currently living with her parents while working at a grocery store."
"Despite her being technically an adult, I just don't see her as such."
Keeps To Herself
"Every time I talk to her at a family gathering, it's like talking to a child. She is obsessed with toy ponies and Barbie dolls, and brings them up at every opportunity," she continues.
"She draws in her notebook constantly and never makes eye contact when talking to me. She does not have loud meltdowns like other special needs kids I’ve met before, but I really don’t want to risk her ruining my special day."
Already Prepared
Apparently the cousin had already picked out a dress and a gift for the wedding, which the bride believes her aunt only mentioned as a way to "guilt" her into allowing her cousin to attend.
She's started to feel the pressure of including her cousin in this 'no children' rule, as her relatives keep pressing her about it, trying to get her to see how unjust it is.
After all, her aunt, uncle, and cousin aren't the only ones upset at her decision. So is her fiancé.
Judgement Day
Her post ends with her saying, "My fiancé says I'm being an a**hole and we should let her attend because she has attended other weddings before with no issue. Everyone is making me feel horrible for not treating her like an adult when she doesn't act like one."
She then left the floor open, asking for judgments and outside perspectives to tell her if she was truly in the wrong for wanting to cousin to not be in attendance.
All In Agreement
The consensus? Yes, yes she was.
The comments were almost entirely in agreement that what she was asking of was wrong, especially since she had noted that her cousin had been to other events, even weddings before without causing any trouble.
"What exactly makes you think she would 'ruin your special day'? Simply the fact that she is autistic?" One user asked, drawing attention to the author's concerning leap in thought.
Another added, "Your cousin will quietly mind her business and talk to her family members. It's going to be hard having a childfree wedding with your behavior, though."
Cruelty For Nothing
One of the longer, more detailed responses said, "She is an adult. She has no history of having meltdowns. There is zero evidence that she'd do anything except be a happy guest. You should be ashamed."
They then asked a very pertinent question, hopefully helping the bride realize how unreasonably and cruelly she was acting, "Why turn what should be a happy occasion into reason for everyone to think you're horrible and make people feel bad?"
Keeping Things In Check
It's not wrong for a couple to curate their wedding day to their tastes, but there comes a point when you have to ask yourself if these wishes of yours are getting out of hand. Are you being too controlling, too rigid, or are you maybe hurting others in the process, letting your true colors shine in the desperate attempt to make things 'perfect.'
The perfect wedding should be perfect because you're surrounded by people you care about while getting married to the love of your life, not because you've weeded your guest list down to only the 'perfect' attendees.
Insecurity is often the culprit when we see people lash out or needlessly put others down. When someone struggles with self-confidence issues without knowing how to deal with them, they turn it outwards, hurting everyone else around them instead.
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