17 Things To Know When Dating Someone Who Was Single For A Long Time

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Being single can be great and rewarding at times.

It can allow us special privileges we just wouldn’t get to enjoy in a relationship, like not worrying about upsetting a partner when you make a big decision on your own, or never having to share a bed or a bathroom or the couch.

This also makes it kind of a big transition when you do get into a relationship with someone.

Here are 17 things to consider if you’re going to date someone who has been on their own for a while.

1. They don’t always let you know when they’re doing things.

A woman in a pink shirt holding and looking at an iPhone.

When you’re single it’s easy to get into the habit of doing whatever you want whenever you feel like it.

You don’t have anyone to talk to or tell about it, so it’s just not something you’re used to considering after a while.

This will change once the reality of the relationship settles in, but it may take some time.

2. They may want to take things slow.

Don’t worry, it’s not that they don’t want to get close to you. They just need time to process and transition into something so different and new.

Learn how to keep your partner coming back for more, click here and watch this free video from relationship expert, Amy North.

3. Their friends may be skeptical or extra protective.

They’ve gotten used to their friend being alone, and it’s odd for them to see another person around all the time.

Just be patient and polite. They’ll see that your intentions are good.

4. They might not want you to do things for them.

Single people have become accustomed to doing everything for themselves.

That independence is often very important to them, and sometimes they can be a little defensive when someone swoops in and takes over.

5. They’ll probably be stubborn about making changes.

It takes a little time for any two people to come together as a unit.

The partnership will develop after a little while, this is just like growing pains, a little obnoxious but an important part of the process.

6. Occasionally, they just want to be alone.

They’ve spent a long time enjoying their own company, and while it’s certain they probably like you if they’re dating you, they will still need that solitude every now and then.

It’s become important for them, and you need to respect that.

7. They may get a little distant at some point.

Don’t panic, let them take a step back to gather themselves and think.

They’re just coming to terms with the idea of getting serious with someone, and that can be an intimidating thing.

8. They might be incredulous about your feelings.

They’re used to only worrying about their own thoughts and feelings on things, but now there’s someone else deeply involved in their life, and they want to know exactly how that’s going to work.

They want to get inside your head and understand your thoughts and feelings too.

For more great relationship advice and tips, watch this video from relationship expert Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.

9. In the beginning, they might be headstrong about things.

They’re still clinging to that fierce single independence, and they don’t want to give up control.

This will settle down eventually, as you become closer and more comfortable together.

10. They are naturally guarded.

As always, be patient. The walls will fall if you give it time. Be open and understanding, and you will get back what you give.

11. It may take a while for them to build trust.

Trust is a project that you continuously work and build on, not something that comes overnight. Don’t expect it to be given fully from day one.

12. They can be intimidating.

Single people have fostered a strong sense of self reliance and this can come off as being a little stand-offish.

Don’t be worried though, it’s just a self preservation thing, a protective shell that will soften once they let you in.

13. They might be reserved at first.

It’s the same concept as when you go to a swimming pool for the first time in the Summer.

Most people dip their toes in the shallow end to test the water. They are going to get into the pool, but they need to do it on their own time.

Learn how to keep your partner coming back for more, click here and watch this free video from relationship expert, Amy North.

14. They don’t want to seem vulnerable.

They haven’t had to open and share with someone else in a while. It can be scary to let yourself be vulnerable to another person after so long.

15. They don’t really need you.

But they want you. They wouldn’t be there, making the effort and trying to get to know you if they didn’t.

16. They’re probably scared.

People often end up staying single for a long time in reaction to being severely hurt by someone.

They let someone get close to them and that burned them.

They will probably be wary of doing it again, but they will find the courage to overcome the worry at some point. Everyone wants to be loved. It’s scary, but it’s important.

17. Solitude is what brings them comfort.

So give them their space. Let them have that alone time.

Let them bask in comfort. Don’t let your insecurities make you jealous or upset. Just let them be, and they will come back to you when they’re ready.

For more great relationship advice and tips, watch this video from relationship expert Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.

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Higher Perspectives Author

Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives