First Date Mishap Exposes Men’s Harmful Comments About Women

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The hope of any first date is to feel excited and happy, not disrespected and insulted. However, a woman's recent TikTok video revealed how one man accidentally sent her a text that exposed how men talk about women behind their backs.

This incident sparked a conversation about how men need to be more respectful towards women and how "locker room talk" should have no place in our society. Let's delve into the implications of this viral video and how it's challenging men to rethink their attitudes towards women.

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High Expectations For A First Date

Man and woman sitting at restaurant table holding hands
Photo Credit: René Ranisch / Unsplash
Photo Credit: René Ranisch / Unsplash

First dates are often filled with high expectations and hopes of a magical and romantic experience. The ideal first date usually involves a nice glass of wine, great conversation, and the feeling of butterflies in the stomach.

However, not all first dates lead to a happy ending, and some can even turn sour due to a variety of reasons.

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Reasons for an Unsuccessful First Date

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Woman has her head in her hands as her date looks at her during a bad date
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Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels
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A first date may not be successful due to a range of factors. Sometimes, there may be a lack of chemistry between the two individuals, while other times, disagreements about topics such as who should pay the bill can put a damper on things.

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Despite the possibility of an unsuccessful date, it can still be a valuable learning experience that provides insight into what one is looking for in a romantic partner.

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The Consequences of an Accidental Text

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man in black shirt texting
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Photo Credit: Jonas Leupe / Unsplash
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Sending a text message to the wrong person can be an embarrassing mistake, but the consequences can be even more severe when the content of the message is derogatory and insulting.

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Recently, a man made this mistake when he accidentally sent a text insulting the woman he was supposed to go on a first date with to a friend. The woman shared the text message exchange on social media, sparking a discussion about the disrespectful behavior some men exhibit towards women.

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This Is Molly

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Molly on a subway train
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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Molly, who goes by @mollyhair on TikTok, is a social worker by trade, and a singer by night.

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Molly is an accomplished singer who has released multiple tracks, including one titled "Good Guys" where she describes what dating is like in the 21st century...

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Garbage Men Provide Inspiration For Molly

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tiktok screencap from molly's singing video
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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Life often imitates art, and one woman's recent viral TikTok proves just that. The post gained traction after she received an insulting text message from a man she was on her way to meet for a first date. The TikTok has garnered an impressive 6.5 million views and 380,000 likes, showcasing the impact of the incident.

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The caption of the TikTok post reads, "Chivalry is alive #firstdatefail." The post highlights the lack of respect and courtesy some men exhibit towards women, bringing attention to an important topic in today's society.

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A First Date That's Headed Nowhere

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text message between Molly and her date in which he refers to her as a
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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Molly was on her way to meet a man for a first date when she received a text from him asking if she had arrived yet. However, the next message she received was not what she had expected. The man accidentally sent her a derogatory text meant for a friend, which read, "Waiting on this c**t."

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Despite the man's attempts to brush off the message as a joke, Molly was not amused. She questioned him about the insult, asking if she was the person he was referring to.

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The Follow-Up Conversation

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Screen capture of Molly's text with her date when he calls her a
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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Molly later posted a follow-up video on TikTok in which she shares the full conversation she had with her date and provides further context about what happened before and after the derogatory text message was sent.

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During the incident, Molly was in the process of parking her car when she received the message from her date. Upon realizing that he had used offensive language to refer to her, she was taken aback and decided to leave the scene immediately.

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An Attempt To Apologize

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text from Molly's date saying that he was joking about referring to her as the C-word and he'll understand if it's completely over between them.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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After failing to show up for their first date, Molly's prospective partner attempted to call her several times, only to be met with silence on the other end of the line.

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In an effort to explain his behavior, he claimed that the derogatory message he sent was just a joke between him and a male friend, and that he didn't actually mean to offend her.

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The Text Seems Like A Red Flag To Molly

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Molly texts her date back and says that after the language he used she's not comfortable meeting him anymore and sees it as a red flag.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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Molly explained that regardless of whether he meant it as a joke, the use of sexist language is never acceptable.

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She also expressed concern that this behavior could be indicative of larger issues in their potential relationship, and ultimately chose to cut ties with him.

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"It's God's Plan"

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Molly's date sends her three texts in which he apologies for his behavior and was just innocently joking with his friend Joe, and calls the incident
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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The man involved in the incident apologized profusely, claiming that he was only trying to be funny with his friend Joe. Although he expressed genuine remorse for his actions, he also knew that there was no way to make things right with Molly.

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In a text message to her, he wrote, "I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about it."

I guess this is God's plan.

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The Back & Forth Continues

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Molly's reply where she says she hopes he'll use the incident as an opportunity to learn.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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Over text, Molly responded to the man and acknowledged that she accepted his apology. She suggested perhaps it was a learning opportunity for the young guy.

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She notes too, in her video, that she didn't necessarily need to respond further to the man. "I was probably way too nice in rejecting him. The social worker in me just wants to help people to learn and grow from their mistakes," she says. "I probably should've just ignored him."

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Disappointed In His Own Behavior

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Molly's date responds to her apology and says he was excited about meeting her and he disappointed that he blew things.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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Upon reading Molly's acceptance of his apology, the date does acknowledge the disrespect he had shown, even if it was meant to be a joke with a friend.

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He regrets his actions and admits to being "disappointed" in himself, realizing that he lost his only chance with someone as sweet as Molly.

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But He Didn't Stop There

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Text conversations where the man apologizes and tries getting a second chance, even texting Molly four months later
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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Despite Molly not showing up to the first date and clearly highlighting how his behavior was a turn-off for her, the man persisted. He was hoping for another chance, but she shut him down, saying that "I think you have some growing up to do."

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He continued to chase Molly over text for the next 4 months to no avail. She said that his persistence after the incident just further confirmed that this behavior was a red flag.

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Most People Were On Molly's Side

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A comment on Molly's TikTok where a woman asks where is the humor in Molly's dates comment supposed to be.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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The TikTok video Molly posted quickly went viral and sparked a debate among users. Some questioned the level of humor in the comment made by Molly's date and expressed their disappointment about it.

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Others argued that using degrading language towards women is never okay, while a few individuals suggested that the use of the word "c**t" is commonly accepted as a joke in Australia.

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Some Viewers Felt The Man Deserved Some Credit

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Tiktok comment: The rest of it was honestly such a green flag. He wasn't rude about it, didn't victim blame and kept his ego in check
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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Some users defended Molly's date and considered his text responses as positive signs despite his use of a derogatory term.

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One user compared his dry humor to their own husband's and said that their husband treats them very well. They noted that his apology and willingness to accept the outcome "speaks volumes."

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Was It Really A Genuine Apology?

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user responds to Molly's TikTok saying that she's impressed the man apologized for his rude behavior, but that the bar was incredibly low to begin with
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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On the other hand, some users were pleased that Molly's date apologized, but many others were offended that he used the "it's God's plan" excuse to justify his actions instead of taking full responsibility.

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"God's plan = I am unwilling to take full responsibility and instead attribute my behavior to external factors," one user wrote.

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That Shouldn't Be The End Of The Discussion

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molly-happy for low bar
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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Molly made light of the situation, but the fact remains that the derogatory language used by some men towards women is unacceptable.

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Shouldn't we set the bar higher than simply not being called a derogatory term? It's time for men to do better.

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If It Doesn't Kill You, It Makes You Stronger...Right?

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Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
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It must be unpleasant for Molly to have the world commenting on her situation and repeatedly referring to her using such a derogatory term. However, amidst all this, Molly has managed to maintain her sense of humor.

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She even jokes about the situation, as evident from her response when she Googles her own name.

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