Four Fake Gestures That Are Actually An Excuse To Be Toxic
Manipulators are everywhere. Maybe they do it on purpose or maybe their bad habits and expectations have just given them toxic traits, but in all cases, they’re not good for you.
Be careful of those who do seemingly nice gestures only to then use them against you. If you’re wondering how to tell the difference so you’re not just distrusting everyone, look out for these four fake gestures in particualr.
Be careful of those who try to give you gifts for no reason. While their generosity and thoughtfulness can be appreciated, toxic people will make sure to remind you at every irrelevant chance of what they did for you.
All of a sudden the gift will feel cursed, and they’ll make you feel like you’re indebted to them even though you never even asked for a gift in the first place.
The Ben Franklin Favor Effect
This technique is used by the most skilled manipulators, even though it was originally meant to be positive. It’s based on an old saying by Ben Franklin: “he who has once done you a favor will be more willing to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged.”
Basically, it means that when someone asks you for a favor, you feel special because they chose you as the person they trusted and needed for their skills, or so they make it seem. While one favor is fine, stay away from those who conveniently are nicest and most attentive when they need something.
Breadcrumbing Their Attention
It might feel nice when someone expresses a lot of interest in you at once. But this makes it hurt much more when they suddenly vanish when you try to meet up om person. This is known as breadcrumbing.
It’s basically when a person comes off as charming and attentive but they’re only telling what you want to hear. They’re giving you just enough signals to keep your interest. In fact, every time you pull away they come back strong but they never have any intention of committing.
Trusting You With A Secret
When a charmer wants to make you feel special they’ll pretend to trust you so much that they’re letting you on a secret they only feel comfortable with you. This is a way to make it seem like you’re bonded deeper than you actually are.
It’s just a way to keep you around so that when they withdraw you start to feel empty and wonder if you did something wrong. It makes it easier for them to get you to do whatever it is that they want so you gain back their attention.
Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives