Relationships
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Grown Adults Share The Most Toxic Things Their Parents Told Them As Children, And It's Unsettling

Let's face it, parents are not the superheroes we once thought they were. The older we get, the more we realize that parents are just human beings who made a lot of mistakes along the way. The only difference is that some parents went out of their way to try to never repeat those mistakes, while some got stuck in toxic patterns that hurt their children in unsettling ways.

These children have now grown into adults who struggle but are aware of the root of their issues. They have come together on Reddit to share the things that parents told them that broke them, in hopes of saving the next child.

Unfair Compairaisons

man drinking beer and smiling

Christian Buehne / Unsplash

"My drunken father once told me, 'You'll never be the man that I am.' I remember thinking, 'You're damn right I won't be.'"- p38-lightning/ Reddit

The sad truth is that while some thrive to be just like their parents, once wishing they will grow up to follow in their footsteps, some of us actually make it our life goal to be everything they were not. Ultimately, the hope for every parent should be for their children to be better than they ever could be and to have everything that they did not.

Gaslighting

little girl looks lost in thought by the sun

Joseph Gonzalez / Unsplash

"'It's all in your head/you are just imagining it.' As it turned out, I wasn't imagining it and now I struggle to differentiate between what's real and what's not because I was led to believe I was imagining things constantly." - Missing_Maestos/ Reddit

When we think of gaslighting, we often picture romantic relationships but the reality is that this victim-blaming mentality is actually a manipulation tactic that is used in any kind of relationship. Even parents turn the tables on their own children when it's too difficult for them to take accountability and admit their own mistakes. They think that by dismissing it, it'll just go away but what it really does is confuse the child about reality.

For great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.

Unfair Blaming

kid sits in between parents who are mad at her

Monstera / Pexels

"You're the reason why your dad and I almost divorced." - 3_angels / Reddit

It's never the child's fault for having been born. It's not like we chose when to come into existence and into which family. It's completely unfair when a parent blames their kid for any of their problems because it's actually their responsibility to figure it out. If they didn't think their relationship could handle it, then maybe they shouldn't have had a kid in the first place.

Guilt Tripping

kid sits in doorway with her hands covering her face

Pixabay / Pexels

"'So you're saying that I'm a bad parent' in response to any form of help-seeking or constructive criticism was the worst for me." - Derpchieftain / Reddit

Parents need to accept that they're not perfect. What kind of example are they setting for their children when they refuse to accept their own flaws and mistakes just because it's their own kid who points it out? Rather than teach them that they should follow authority blindly, parents should show their kids that it's okay to admit a wrong, learn from it and move forward

Negating Feelings

kid with blue eyes close up

Aadil / Pexels

"'You're being dramatic' or 'Quit being emotional', 'why are you being difficult', 'you make things so hard on me', 'someone else has it worse so stop crying'. - Sxthu / Reddit

Somewhere along the line, we were conditioned into thinking that showing emotion was a sign of weakness. it's time to unlearn that behavior and remind ourselves that it's those very emotions that make us human and guide our moral compass. Children actually act out more when they're denied their own feelings and told to just grow up.

Poking Fun At A Child

Kid looks into the camera with sad eyes

Misha Voguel / Pexels

"Making fun of your kid for making a change in their life for the better. I was always anti-social and the complete opposite of athletic. When I began to try and work out to gain some muscle, I got teased by my parents. All that did was discourage me and make me want to quit." Average_jaded_guy / Reddit

Kids at any age will look at their parents for approval and validation. Rather than be shut down, they should be encouraged. If they get made fun of by their own parents, they'll be convinced that everyone else will too.

Skewing The Idea Of Love

mom holds her daughter up in a field by the sun

Daria Obymaha / Pexels

" I think probably the most toxic thing a parent can say to a child is any form of, 'nobody will ever love you as much as I do' or 'I'm the only one who really loves you.' It's the psychological equivalent of a bear trap. Its purpose isn't just to hurt the kid, but to keep them from ever leaving." S_thyrsoidea / Reddit

There's a reason so many of us have commitment issues and a hard time creating and maintaining healthy romantic relationships. Often we don't even understand what the idea of healthy love looks like so we don't know what to look for. By modeling healthy boundaries and giving kids space, instead of telling them that love is conditional and only given freely by parents, we might increase their odds of finding meaningful relationships.

The Worst One Of All

Josh Willink / Pexels

"I wish you were never born." AmunPharaoh / Reddit

This might be the saddest thing you could ever say to a child. By saying this, no matter the context, you could take away their entire will to live. They will be left thinking that if their own parent doesn't want them, then how could anyone? This statement breaks their entire character and no matter how many times a parent apologizes for it after, the damage has already been done.

Find Out How To Break The Cycle

We don't blame you for being frustrated with dating and wanting to stick with what's comfortable but if you're struggling to find and keep a healthy relationship because of your upbringing click here to find out how to break the cycle.

For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.

Uplifting

Homeless Man Found Long-Lost Sister After 20 Years, But That Wasn't Even The Miracle

You know what the best part of hardships is? It's the light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how dim, or even nonexistent it may seem for a while, it's always there, waiting for you at your destination.

Logan's story didn't see the light for a whole 20 years, which for the young man was a whole lifetime. Yet, he didn't let life's hardest tests get him down and he always held on to the hope of finding that light, till one day he did. He thought reuniting with his lost sister would be the light he was looking for this whole time. Except his sister was already living with her own family at that point...

To find the light at the end of your tunnel, you need to understand your purpose and your potential so that you can take control of your emotions, your life, and your future. Take a quick zodiac reading here to find out what your universe has to say about you right now.

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Life Was Hard From The Very Beginning

Hunt as a young kid smiling while sitting in dining room chair

USA Today / Youtube

Logan's hardships started from the day he was born. For whatever reason, his parents didn't feel fit to raise him, so he was put up for adoption when he was just a toddler. Not all kids get lucky and get adopted when they get put in the system.

Unfortunately for Logan, no family wanted to keep him and he was sent from one foster home to the next until he reached the age of 18. Considered an adult, he aged out of the system and had no choice but to become homeless. All he had ever wanted was a family but instead, he grew up his whole life feeling alone.

A Social Worker Who Cared

files drawer with hundred of files from vabinet

Maksym Kaharlytskyi / Unsplash

Fortunately, all it takes to make a difference in someone's life is finding one person who cares. For Logan, it was his social worker. Once his 11 years in the foster care system were up, Logan's caseworker was determined to find him a good place to live. So far, all his living arrangements had been temporary, and he had never had a place to call home. For a time, Logan even lived in his car.

Looking carefully through his files, they discovered that Logan actually had a biological sister named Shyann who was already living with a good family. The caseworker hoped and prayed that the family would also take an interest in Logan, so she called up Shyan's adoptive mother.

Logan Was Deemed To Be "Toxic"

Logan and his sister hug when reunited

USA Today / Youtube

The caseworker was hoping Robert and Ara Hunt, Shyanna's parents would welcome Logan but that wasn't the case. The family already had 3 adopted children and they were afraid that Logan would disrupt the dynamic that they had created for their family.

Logan's sister was 12 years old at the time and the family was afraid that her biological homeless brother, who was living in a car, would be toxic to their family. In an interview, tey explained: : “We wanted nothing to do with him. We didn’t know anything about him. We were afraid.”

A Television Segment That Reflected The Truth

Logan sitting in interview chair

USA Today / Youtube

You wouldn't think that television is where you'd find the truth and have your whole perspective changed but that was the case for Logan.

The Hunt family saw a local television segment about Logan's journey out of foster cre and it completely changed their mind on the young man. That piece changed the father Robert Hunt’s mind about the 18-year-old. The father said in an interview: “I was just knocked down. I think I’m a pretty good judge of character, and I saw the good character in him."

If you're looking for a sign on whether you need a change then you're here for a reason This is your sign. Take a quick zodiac reading here to find out how you can take control of your career path

From Tragedy To Blessings

car crashed from he side with the plate hanging off

Michael Jin / Unsplash

Up until then, Logan had known nothing but rejection. He told USA Today how the constant rejection that his life made him feel “empty” and “alone," and he felt as though he had “nothing to look forward to.”

Right when Logan thought his life couldn't get worse, he got into a car accident. Yet, he had no idea that this tragedy would turn into a blessing too. Ara went to go visit him in the hospital, and she ended up bringing him home with her. He had no idea another miracle would be waiting for him at her home.

Happily More After

People Magazine

Logan went back to meet his sister and her newfound family thinking the reunion itself would be his miracle while he recovered from the accident. He believed his stay with the family would be temporary just like all his past ones.

As he bonded with the family, Logan fit right in. It didn't take long before the Hunt family performed a second miracle and decided to start the process of adopting Logan! It was finally Logan's chance to reach the light of the end of the tunnel and become part of a family just like he always wanted.

New Beginnings

Logan's life at almost 20 years old was just starting. After 13 years of temporary living arrangements, he finally found his forever home. It turns out that hope and patience were all he needed and the universe had a plan for him all along.

These kinds of stories can happen to anyone. You might think you're never going to catch a break, but there's a light waiting for you too. Are you still searching for your life purpose? You won't believe what the science of Numerology can reveal about you

The numerology of your birth date, regardless of what month you were born, can reveal surprising information about your personality and that's. a good place to start.

Unlock the messages hidden in your Personality Code now with your free personalized video report. Click HERE to learn what Numerology says about your life using only your Name and Birth Date.