The Hardest Battle In Life

7 Things You Should Never Forget When Everything Falls Apart

There are moments in our lives where we feel as if all is lost and there is no more hope for ourselves so we begin to spiral into a seemingly never ending pit of despair.

These kinds of moments happen to all of us, with the unfortunate truth of the matter, adversity is everywhere and will do everything in it's power to challenge your coping abilities as well as your overall strength as a human.

One important thing to remember when you are going through these tough experiences is that you do not give up on yourself.

Take a minute from your stress to remind yourself of these very important aspects of coping and dealing with your problems.

1. Meditation/Prayer

If you have a certain practice that you like to fall back on such as meditation and or prayer, then turn to these methods to allow yourself to cope from all of your stressful endeavors.

Take the time to shut out all other noise, allow yourself to be free within your own space/mind, and let every little bit of tension within your body to slowly melt away.

You will find the solution to these problems, give yourself time to figure out what the right thing to do is.

2. Just Keep Moving Forward

There are certain times in our lives where we must admit that there is no use looking back on the past with sorrow and or despair.

You must allow yourself to truly live in present moment at this time.

Beating yourself up constantly over things that you will never be able to change will make you insane with overthinking about all of the "what if's?"

Forgive yourself for all that you have done wrong, make peace with the situation, and finally let yourself move forward with your life.

Sometimes that is all you can do when it comes to problems from the past is to just keep moving forward.

3. Express Yourself

One of the best ways to cope is to express all of what you are feeling through music, art, exercise, and anything else that makes you feel able to expel all of your stress away.

Hobbies play an important role in our life after we have been doing it for so long, returning to a favorite passion of yours could be exactly what you need.

We often forget what it feels like to shake those frustrations out through outlets we really enjoy spending time on. Gardening is also a really great outlet for people to get rid of their stress.

4. Take The Good With The Bad

Another way for you to cope with your stress is to learn how to take the bad times with your good times.

This means learning how to appreciate when you were in the good times that may ignite a spark within you to fight for those days yet again. Bad days are only temporary and this is something that most of us forget.

Try to see the silver lining in your bad situations and figure out what it is going to take in order for you to reclaim those good days once more.

5. Face Your Fears

If the stress that you are experiencing is being summoned directly from a feeling of fear, then this may be one challenge that you are going to have to overcome eventually.

Sooner rather than later would be ideal, however, taking your time is more important when it comes to facing your fears.

Of course, it is never an easy thing to do, but being courageous is something that we are all capable of.

Believe in yourself, know that you are not alone in facing what you fear most, and always remember that you have the power to make a difference in your world.

6. Worry Isn't Well

Letting yourself worry is the worst thing that you could possibly do in moments of stress. It is definitely easier said than done when it comes to calming down and taking a step back to address the situation with a rational/logical perspective.

However, the more you let yourself worry about "what if's" and "I should have's" then you will never truly allow yourself to recover from the stress you're enduring.

Try to keep yourself busy if you are in a constant fit of worry, you will want to try to occupy a lot of your time with the things that you enjoy doing.

7. Allow Yourself To Vent To A Friend

If you truly feel as if you are alone with all of your stress and there is no other way out, you can always call a friend to vent about some of your problems.

Like we said before, you are never alone when it comes to dealing with problems.

Everyone is going through some kind of rough patch in their life, venting about it makes it easier to cope for some reason especially when you are able to express all of your frustration to someone who really understands where you're coming from.

Hopefully this has helped you with coping with some of your stress in your everyday life.

It's always important to keep reminding yourself to keep moving forward, most bad times are temporary, and that you must be willing to forgive yourself for the things that you are unable to fix.

Find out what happiness means to you and fight for it.

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Death And Breakups Trigger The Same Unbearable Pain, Except For This One Crucial Difference

There is a false believe that true, intense grief is only experienced during the loss of a loved one to death. However, more and more we're realizing that any kind of loss can be grieved, even if it's just a breakup, Grief in all its stages, is experienced is whenever a person faces a life changing loss from intimate relationships, losing a job, a house to a fire, having to relocate, you name it. However there is still one major difference between death and breakups that make breakups even more painful.

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Depression From Loneliness

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Anthony Tran / Unsplash

Psychological studies have spent a long time trying to understand the pain receptors that are activated during grief. They found that the loss of a loved one has specific depression symptoms, primarily loneliness, which then leads to other depressive symptoms.

In both kinds of losses (death or breakups), the grieving person has to relearn how to be in the absence of someone they shared a bond with and gave a lot of time to. Not being able to see them anymore, whether by circumstance or choice, can feel really isolating and lonely.

Constant Triggers In Routines

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Claudia Wolff / Unsplash

One of the hardest changes experienced in these losses is having to readapt to a whole new lifestyle. The longer the relationships before the losses, the harder it is to accustom to a daily life alone. A routine that was once taken for granted, or even mundane stops making sense, leaving the griever with a shattered sense of self.

Sometimes it's the smallest reminders that cause the greatest pains like having to go to the grocery store alone or walking past the favorite restaurant of a lost loved one. It's quite difficult to build a life from scratch.

Both Kinds Of Grief Impact The Physical Body

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Yuris Alhumaydy / Unsplash

Both breakups and death can take a toll on the physical body. A grieving person will often experience trouble eating, trouble sleeping, low energy, and even panic attacks. Not to mention that each one of those systems will lead to its own effect like trouble sleeping will lead to headaches, nausea, and an ability to concentrate. These symptoms create a vicious cycle of pain.

The feeling of loss is not just emotional but also physical, which makes sense when thinking that the person we lost is no longer physically there. The creates a longing for their physical body to be able to hug it or feel its warmth once again.

A Loss Of The Future

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Shoeib Abolhassani / Unsplash

One thing that breakups and death have in common is that no one really plans for them or can predict when they happen. No one enters a relationship thinking that it's just going to end. Usually, long-term plans are made together and when the person we made them with is gone, so is the hope we had of the future we had. Not only do we grieve the loss of that person but the loss of the future as well.

it becomes hard to live for tomorrow having no idea where it now leads ad it. Grief then creates a void and the grieving person feels like it's walking aimlessly, now lost in the vastity of the world. It takes time to then find hope in a new future.

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The Major Difference Between Death And Breakups: Ambiguous Grief

woman looking to the side standing by smokey mountain

Elsa Tonkinwise / Unsplash

We have no choice when it comes to death. It's the inevitable part of our existence and we have no control over its timing. When we lose someone to death we have no choice but to say goodbye and continue knowing that they no longer are a part of our world. However, a breakup is a choice. This is a lot harder to express because even when we say goodbye, we then have to continue living knowing that the person we lost still walks among us, but that we no longer have the privilege of sharing life with them. The grief of a breakup is not only in having to say goodbye to a relationship that's now over and a person that's gone, but also in having to watch that very same person live on with us.

Grieving someone that is still alive in that way is known as ambiguous grief. It means that we're experiencing a loss because someone has changed or disappeared and are stuck in limbo between hoping that everything will return to normal and trying to grasp that life as we know it is also fading away.

Abandonment Grief

two hands hold a cutout black heart

Kelly Sikkema / Unsplash

Experiencing grief can come with a complicated set of abandonment issues. Suddenly this person we had trusted to always be with us is gone, leaving us to figure life out alone. However, the abonnement is scarring when it is experienced through rejection. A breakup can actually feel traumatic and tap into insecurities and anxieties that date all the way back to childhood.

Suddenly we start expecting everyone who loves us to then also change their mind and leave us. In an attempt to protect ourselves from feeling that loss again, we can never attach fully again, and simply feel incomplete for a long time.

A Breakup Feels Like A Threat To Survival

woman hides her face in darkess

Melanie Wasser / Unsplash

Another reason that grief from a breakup is worse is that the brain processes the loss of a partner as a threat to survival This triggers biological changes because it gets the body ready for self-defense. In a state of emergency, It increases heart rate and blood pressure, decreases appetite, and increases oxygen to the brain to put the body on high alert.

It can even start over-analyzing experiences from the past to learn and prepare for the new perceived danger. This all makes the person feel like they have become obsessed with their ex, and that the only way they'll survive and feel better is if they can go back to the source of their attachment, and get their ex back. When they fail to, it worsens their abandonment anxiety.

Leads To Revenge Or Planning To Get Them Back Are

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Yivraj Singh / Unsplash

We as human beings are wired to connect. From the moment we're born we develop a deep need for attachment. As we get older we find people we connect with and attach ourselves to them. The attachment is even stronger when part of an intimate relationship as it becomes a primary attachment. When it's suddenly cut off, all the energy that was invested with it has no place to go and completely disrupt the biology of the brain.

To cope with this kind of grief, people resort to one of two methods before reaching acceptance. Either they try to execute revenge, which is just another way to keep holding on to the attachment while projecting their pain. Or, they desperately obsess over trying to get their ex back. Thankfully, the healing process and the stages of grief eventually all lead to acceptance.

It's Okay To Feel Pain, Because There's An End in Sight

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Cotton bro / Unsplash

We don't blame you for being frustrated with the pain that relationships bring and wanting to stick with what's comfortable but if you're longing to break the cycle click here to find out how. if you're looking for more information on how grief takes its toll on you specifically, then you'll need your own zodiac reading.

We're each on our own unique path and what some struggle with might not be applicable to you too.

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