How To Let Go As A Mother Of Growing Children
For a parent “letting go” of their children can feel counterintuitive. After all, they’re the same beings that you’re instinctively programmed to want to take care of, and protect. Children are made of the same being as their parents and their connection is one that exceeds all others.
For that reason for some parents, it can feel impossible to let their children go in a world that they can no longer control, knowing the risk of harm is in every corner. Yet still, for their childrens’ own good, they must. So even when your whole purpose seems to be to protect a child, here’s how to learn to let go of them as they grow.
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Emotional Vs. Wise Parenting
There is a difference between wise-minded parenting and emotional parenting. While a parent can’t fight the emotions attached to their child, if they let those emotions take over and dictate their parenting, they risk making unwise decisions.
Wise parenting on the other hand knows how to detach from emotional responses to provide better parenting. For example, wise parenting knows not to cave to a child’s demands just because it’s hard to watch them cry. The more wise parenting you can implement, the more you’ll naturally be able to recognize the importance and timing of letting go of a child.
Recognizing Your Own Dependance On Your Children
It’s not just the child that is dependant on their parent, but the parent can develop an unhealthy codependence on their child as well. This is a heavy burden that no child should bear, despite your best intentions. A child should not feel the pressure of being your only source of happiness and purpose, otherwise, you’d never be able to let it go.
Your child deserves to move on and your dependence on them can hold them back and fill them with guilt and emotional conflict when it’s time for them to go out into the world. Instead, find ways to have a life that is independent of your child as well, by finding ways to balance catering to friends, hobbies, career, and self-care.
Help Them Help Themselves
Don’t make the mistake of taking away all responsibility from your child. In psychology, they say that a spoiled child is just as bad as a neglected child because they don’t get to learn the tools in how to cope and be alone in the world when one day they won’t have the choice.
Rather than always jumping in to help, teach them how to help themselves. Do this gradually and admire. how fast they pick it up. This also includes teaching them consequences.
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Make Home Their Haven
Create and maintain a safe home environment for your child, so that they know that no matter what happens out there in the world, they can always come back to yours. It may be hard to balance providing an environment that they are encouraged to leave behind but also want to come back to in time of need.
The key is not making the home so hostile and controlled that they can’t wait to escape from it but in supporting them so that they know they’ll always have a shoulder to cry on when needed.
Release All Feelings Of Guilt
You need to let go of guilt when you make mistakes or even in the moments that you find yourself holding on too tightly. No parent is perfect and that’s okay. Even if your child can’t recognize that yet and look up to you, one day they’ll come to understand that we’re all just trying to do our best and that what’s important is learning from our mistakes.
Guilt will only make it harder to let go as you’ll find yourself desperately trying to fix mistakes that don’t matter anymore.
Live In The Moment
The most important part of letting go is living in the moment. Rather than worry about all the worst-case scenarios of what could happen to your child when they’re alone, make the most of the moments that you’re together.
Ironically, it’s the moment that you live together that will equip them with what they need to survive the ones when you’re apart, so make every moment count.
Are you Searching For A New Purpose?
Parenthood should not be your only purpose in life. While it’s the greatest gift and your role in it has a huge purpose in itself, letting go of parenthood as your only purpose is essential in teaching you how to let go. Instead, find a purpose that is independent, with the science of Numerology . You’d be surprised what the numerology of your birth date, regardless of what month you were born, can reveal surprising information about your personality.
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Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives