Relationships

Ignoring The Red Flags

5 Signs That You Are In A "Gaslighting" Relationship

"Gaslighting" is the manipulation of someone, by psychological means, into questioning their own sanity. The term, "Gaslighting" is taken from a 1938 play that later became a movie in 1944.

In the story, a husband tries to convince his wife and their acquaintances that she is insane by making very small, subtle changes to their environment.

When the wife would point out the changes, the husband convinced her that she was wrong about the changes and that she was crazy.

Slowly but surely, the wife starts to give in to the self-doubt created by those subtle changes.

Below are some signs that you may be in a Gaslighting relationship.

1. You Are Constantly Apologizing

A victim of gaslighting will constantly be apologizing for doing things wrong, even if they have done nothing wrong.

Feeling sorry for everything means that the accountability and responsibility for all perceived wrong-doings has been claimed by one person—the victim.

This ensures the perpetrator remains innocent and the victim is continuously guilty.

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2. You Are Not Able To Make Decisions

The victim will find decision making increasingly difficult, as they will feel that whatever they choose will be the wrong choice.

Everything they do or say is wrong, so they feel that they are no longer capable of making decisions about anything.

This results in the abuser making all of the decisions, thereby giving the abuser even more power and control.

3. You Always Feel Confused

Victims of gaslighting will often be in a constant state of confusion. They find it very difficult to trust their own mind, and constantly doubt their thought process.

Their instinct fails to kick in because whenever it does, it is very quickly told that it is wrong.

The victim will know that there is something seriously wrong, but they will find it extremely difficult to work out what.

4. You Begin To Change

Change is not always easy to notice, since most change happens bit by bit, so the process can feel very natural in some ways.

However, if the victim thinks back to who they were before the relationship and who they are now, they will probably see significant differences.

5. You Are Becoming Withdrawn

The victim of gaslighting will become withdrawn and often reclusive as they feel so low and beaten down that they have little confidence to socialize with anyone.

The victim will feel safer spending time alone than with other people, as when those around them question what is wrong or what is happening within their relationship, the victim just will not have the answers to justify what is going on.

Unfortunately, there is a good chance that we have all been gaslighted by someone at some point in our lives, even if it was just on a small scale by someone we barely know.

Gaslighting is one of the most extreme, dangerous and effective forms of emotional and psychological abuse and is mostly carried out intentionally.

Gaslighting is often used by narcissists and sociopaths as a way of controlling, confusing and debilitating someone. Please seek help if you or anyone you love is being gaslighted.

For more great relationship advice and tips, watch this video from relationship expert Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.

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Relationships

Here's How Spending The Holiday Season Alone Doesn't Have To Be Sad

There are many reasons why a person could be spending the holiday season alone and there's nothing wrong with that. Some might be intentionally choosing to finally find a moment for peace and quiet and avoid the usual family drama. Others didn't choose their solitude but had no choice for various circumstances weighing on them. Whatever the reason, this supposed most wonderful time of the year isn't just joyful because of others. Those who have experienced spending the holidays alone have found ways to not be sad, and even prefer it. Here's how they do it.

Take a quick zodiac reading here to find out what your universe has to say about you right now.

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Treat Yourself

woman eating pizza on christmas decorated table

Olya Kobruseva / Pexels

"I've spent many holidays alone and this is what I always do. I like to cook so I still cook a holiday meal, but if you're not into cooking then maybe splurge on a restaurant you wouldn't normally go to alone. It's all take out now anyway. Decorate your house, if that's your thing. Or go for a quiet walk around the city, a hike, a bike ride, whatever it is you like to do. Or go to a store and buy something like a Lego set, a puzzle, a craft kit, etc and while away the hours that way" - saladada / Reddit

You don't need to spend a lot. The point is to make the day feel special in a way that speaks to you and gives you happiness.

Embrace The Pause On Noise

woman checking her phone by christmas tree

Cottonbro / Pexels

"I was stuck all alone at Christmas one year in college. It sucked, far from home, and unable to go home. I didn't really have the means to do anything exciting but very much enjoyed the quietude when I wasn't thinking about the holiday. I took long walks in the snow and enjoyed how quiet our college campus was when nobody was around. It was almost eery, but not a normal way to see campus so neat at the same time." - KiniShakenBake / Reddit

When else is everyone too busy to check their phones, work or need favors and will leave you alone? When else are all the stores closed and the streets are empty? The noise will be on hold and it's your chance to enjoy the stillness.

Make Yourself Productive

woman taking off picture from book

Ivan Samkov / Pexels

"I'm planning to work on some DIY projects around the house. Build out the closet organization shelving/system, clear out the garage, hopefully, catch up on some clearing some brush, replace the last light switches and LED integrated recessed lights... Probably will play some Taylor swift/ 80's glam rock while carrying the projects." - davos180 / Reddit

If sitting back and relaxing is not for you, then make yourself productive. You'll not only feel accomplished but you'll have your project results as your reward, like a gift to yourself.

Remember That It's Just Another Day

woman hanging Christmas ornaments on tree outdoors

Yaroslav Shuraev / Pexels

"I've spent a few holidays alone and the key to making it less sad is to make it special in some way. Treating it like any other day and waiting for it to be over will just make the time pass slowly and miserably. Try preparing a holiday meal or doing other holiday rituals, like decorating cookies or watching holiday movies, to make the day special. The time will pass faster and you'll enjoy yourself more." - majesticpheasant / Reddit

It's okay if you can't shake off sadness if you wish you weren't alone, or are especially missing someone this year. Just remember that in reality, the holidays come down to just one day, that even those who are together for a meal are not necessarily much happier than you are.

Find A Way To Give Back

woman drinking wine in window reflection on Christmas

Tim Douglas / Pexels

" Donate time, food, or money to a local charity. Food banks are predicting a massive need this holiday season and if you can spare anything at all you'll be helping them and others.

Or reach out to your local elementary schools and ask them about a toy giving charity for their students. Usually, they have something going on or a community partnership, and picking out toys for kids is fun. And you get to know you're making a kid's holiday a little brighter." saladada / Reddit

No matter your situation, there's likely someone in a less fortunate one. Finding a way to make their holiday better will not only bring them joy but also give you purpose.

Are you still searching for your life purpose?

The science of Numerology can reveal a lot about you The numerology of your birth date, regardless of what month you were born, can reveal surprising information about your personality and made it easier to figure out the best way for you to spend the holiday season..

Unlock the messages hidden in your Personality Code now with your free personalized video report.