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Is The First Response To An Angry Person Admitting We’re Wrong? A Psychologist's Mindful Warning

"So what should you do when people are mad at you?" It's a simple question you've probably wondered several times. Do you give them space? Do you beg for forgiveness? Do you yell back to stand your ground?

There are tips and tricks out there that can help diffuse these situations before they escalate. A professor named Ryan Martin, took to TikTok to help his community learn how to respond to angry person.

"Is Their Anger Justified?"

"results may vary" with professor selfie

angerprofessor / TikTok

The first thing you should do is ask yourself: "is their anger justified?" This may be the hardest thing to do when faced with an angry person but take it from an anger researcher.

In fact, Ryan Martin is a psychologist who specializes in anger. He is known as @angerprofessor on TikTok with close to 150k followers.

It's The Emotionally Wise Thing To Do

To ask yourself if you did something wrong is to try and see things from the other person's perspective. By putting yourself in their shoes, you're able to look past your own emotions and look at the situation from a more logical stance.

In your state of defense, you may wonder why you should be the one to do the extra work when they should be the ones to hear out your side before getting angry. However, being the bigger person is what's within your control, so why not strive to be better?

You Might Realize they're In The Right

woman gives the hand in a stop motion to man arguing

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Once you take the extra step of putting the argument on pause so you can take a moment to evaluate what it's even about, you might realize that they have a right to be upset.

In these situations, while it may not always be possible, taking some space or a few minutes to evaluate the situation may be helpful in coming back to it with a clearer mindset.

But They Can Be Expressing It Wrong

hand grabs itself by white curtain

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Keep in mind that as the professor explains: "their anger might be justified but they're still expressing it in a maladaptive and problematic way. So maybe they're right to be mad but not right to express it in the way that they are."

This becomes the space for compromise so that both parties feel like that their feelings are being acknowledged, while working together to take accountability for their part in making it worse. This prevents the situation from escalating.

This Is How We Address Our Own Mistakes

couple holds hands over dining table

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The main message is that before you point the finger, you should take a look in the mirror first. Nine times out of ten, we aren't completely innocent either. In that sense, we have room for growth and learning too.

"We can address our own mistakes, even when someone is being cruel," explains the professor. While it may be easier to shift the blame, it prevents us from moving forward.

Diffusing Anger Is A Two Way Streak

man and woman hug in closeup

Anete Lusina / Pexels

While it may seem to difficult to communicate with an angry person, it may be worth reaching a compromise with them in admitting "I made a mistake and I'll fix it, but you shouldn't treat me that way."

This validates their feelings and allows you to take accountability without depriving them of your own values, and needs.


Over 250 Amish Men Carried A Metal Barn With Their Bare Hands To Its New Location

It's incredible what humankind can accomplish when they come together. What is impossible to do alone is made possible when we come into harmony. We create a world of endless possibilities together and are powerful in creating change. It's up to us to chose whether we use the power of team work and solidarity for good and bad.

For one amish community, a group of men, young and old, came together to accomplish a task that otherwise seemed impossible: lifting a metal barn from the ground up and moving it to a new location, Here's how it went.

The Amish Community

the amish community

Jason Rice / Youtube

The current Amish community is made of descendants who left their homes in Europe when faced with prosecution for their religious beliefs. Today they live in tight-knit communities all over North America. In fact, there are about 40 Amish affiliations all around the United States.

The Amish community is completely self-reliant and lives minimally. They are cautious to embrace the technologies of the modern world. They prefer not to use electricity and big machines, and instead use their own manpower. That means that to build and relocate entire structures, they only have their are hands to do it.

Men On A Mission

amish men stand on grass

Jason Rice / Youtube

It all started on a planned morning where hundreds of Amish people traveled on horse carriages, with their families, to Joseph Hochstetler's farm in Knox County, Ohio. They were all in agreement that they had one mission to complete before sundown, they were to help one of their own move their barn to a new location.

To make matters worse, the weather was cold. They were dressed in their community attire, all matching and ready to work as a unit. They had no tools at their disposal. But, not one voice was heard complaining.

Strength In Numbers

man lined up around the barn

Jason Rice / Youtube

The community was able to bring in 250 of their men together for this project. The men got into position filling up the space all around the four sides of the barn. Then together, they lifted and carried it like it was nothing as one single piece. They walked in uniform, as the women watched in awe. The way they were able to maneuver the giant structure was natural like they had done it hundreds of times before.

They gave each other pointers on where and how to straighten it to make sure the process was safe as they walked 200 feet across the field. The whole community was present, contributing where it could.

It Was A Calculated Process

grup of men carry barn

Jason Rice / Youtube

In the footage, a voice can be heard directing the group: "alright, take a hold,” while another man then yells, “Go!” The moment the barn was left was completely synchronized, and each man had a firm hold. They then carried the huge structure steadily. They reached the other side perfectly coordinated and then proceeded with the next step: rotating the barn clockwise to position it in its new location.

It was like it was moving on its own. This moment was met with awe from the community. A woman was heard asking "You see all the feet moving?" in amazement. The men then proceeded to lower the barn back on the ground. No one was injured even though the risk of crushing your hands seems high.

A Record Time

grup of amish men walking with barn

Jason Rice / Youtube

Believe it or not, the entire process took less than five minutes. Despite being an incredible risk, and even arguably dangerous job, no one gave up and no injuries were reported. The community, young and old, had figured out how to work in complete harmony. This is common in the Amish community where when one member needs help, their neighbors generously lend a hand.

Since the community refrains from power tools, they have an incredible ability at using their bare hands. In 2018, another video surfaced in Ohia showing the incredible moment Amish men surrounded and picked up a pole barn in order to similarly move it from one location to the other.

The Power Of Community

amish community stands watching the barn

Jason Rice / Youtube

This inspirational story is a testament to the power of community. Together we can move mountains. We truly have an incredible potential to make positive changes in the world if we come together. Friendship and community bring out our kind human nature.

We all long to connect and feel a part of something. We've become so distracted with our own success that we've lost sight of how much further we can go if we do it together.

Here Is The Full Video

The full video shows the process from beginning to end and is proof of the incredible. Are you still searching for your life purpose? You won't believe what the science of Numerology can reveal about you!

That's right, the numerology of your birth date, regardless of what month you were born, can reveal surprising information about your personality.