Every relationship is special and one of a kind. Two people coming together out of love and respect, has infinite potential. There are general traits that all enduring and productive romantic bonds have.
Yours may seem a little different than our examples, but if you look closely you will see that any difference is superficial. At the core of all compassionate gestures and genuine love are the same simple+ but powerful truths. The pronunciation may vary but the meaning is consistent.
You Never Ignore Each Other
I can not stress enough the importance of paying attention to your partner and honoring their needs. The more mindfully you can interact with your partner the more layers of trust and appreciation will grow. If you notice something new about your partner, say it! The little comments and compliments that should frequently punctuate your communication will set the groundwork for the two of you to express more serious or difficult topics.
As years are added to the time spent together, the communication can get stale. There are expectations and assumptions that both leave unspoken. The example of that old married couple with nothing to say to each other doesn’t have to happen. No matter how ingrained or reliable a behavior or pattern, don’t take the predictability as a given. Being able to notice the tiny changes in each other helps you acknowledge change and helps you both grow.
There is a Strong Sense of Mutual Respect
Beyond the sensation of respect, the manner and frequency of those expressions are just as, if not more important. Don’t hesitate to tell your lover that you respect their abilities or personality. You don’t have to wait for a big occasion or for them to do something for you. Tell them how you feel whenever it comes to mind!
Your Fights Aren’t Cruel or Contemptuous
Every couple fights, it’s natural and inevitable. The way that the two of you express and receive thoughts and feelings is a major part of the foundation of your relationship. In times of stress or disagreement, the importance of these expressions is magnified.
A healthy and loving relationship won’t fight for very long periods of time. Eventually the parties will miss the closeness and intimacy. They will lay aside pride and admit fault or compromise. When they fight, it isn’t to hurt their lover, it isn’t anything more than a miscommunication.
Neither of You Criticize or Breakdown the Other
In a relationship that is bound to last, there are no unnecessary critiques or judgements. If an action or intention is noticed that isn’t productive or healthy, it is pointed out lovingly and without judgement. Anytime advice is offered it is out of compassion, not a desire to break the other down or feel superior. Every action that each member of a mindful and long lasting relationship does is for their mutual benefit.
The Two of You Grow Together, But There is Always Two of You
A strong and deep rooted relationship does not imply dependence. The two of you will learn the intricacies of each other’s needs over time. As new methods of honoring those desires are realized, the solution doesn’t entail that the other person’s influence is mandatory. You two will create an amazing support structure for each other while never sacrificing independence. It is the diversity and variance of two unique people with distinct traits working towards a common goal that makes a relationship special and enduring.
Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives