We’ve covered gas lighting before in previous articles. For a thorough description of gas lighting click here.
It is the broad term that describes how a manipulative personality (normally a narcissist) will try to get to know you then disrupt your inner thought, feelings and convictions. The end goal is to make you dependent on them for everything and use you for their own devices.
The initial period will be marked with a lot of charming attitudes and nice gestures. As they start to gain leverage you will see a darker side. Here are some of the ways to tell that you are being targeting with gas lighting. It’s a very tricky way to manipulate someone, you have to be careful who you trust.
The Relationship Between You Two Has changed Dramatically
When they first show up, the narcissist is charming and available. Once they start digging their claws into you, the relationship will take on a noticeably different light. They will be bossier and always trying to push you towards a goal. They will not listen to you to solve your problems or be kind. They will listen to you in order to understand how better to use you.
You’ve Lost The Urge To Be Heard
Gaslighting is about control and changing the victim’s perspective to favor the gas lighters. You may become more invested in the other person’s needs more than your own. This lack of expression is most notable around the narcissist, but if that person has a lot of influence and consistent presence then you may forget your own needs and wants all together.
You Feel Crazy
The undermining of a person’s perspective is key to gas lighting. You aren’t sure how you are projecting yourself or if your reactions are appropriate to the situation.
You Are Depressed
As the manipulation takes hold, you start to spend large amounts of energy double checking your inner faculties and over analyzing everything. This can wear down anyone and the lack of energy leads to depression. You can also be a little overly sensitive to others and your own emotions, as you don’t have the energy to properly process and reason.
You Doubt Things That You Normally Wouldn’t
Core beliefs and foundations of your personality will be tested as the narcissist attempts to plant seeds of unnecessary change and doubt. You start to question theories and methods that you have believed in and held true sense you were a child. This upheaval is necessary to force you to become dependent.
You Aren’t Sure How You Feel
The gaslighter has you doubting everything including how you feel. They will try to get you to choose their reasons for your feelings instead of acknowledging how you really feel.
You Find Yourself Lying
You aren’t a liar by nature, but you find yourself lying to others and even yourself. You may do it to try and end the argument or conversation faster. You may even lie to cover your internal struggle and doubt.
Your Fears Are Being Used Against You
A manipulative person uses charm to explore your personality and then uses that information against you. Fears and thoughts you have shared with this person will be unexpectedly brought up in conversation and arguments to persuade you to do something.
Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives