Narcissists Can’t Have Intimate Relationships And Here Is Why
No matter how hard you try to love them you’re letting your love go to waste. It’s not going to work. It doesn’t matter how hard you try or how much you believe in their potential, it is not possible to have an intimate relationship with a narcissist and we’ll tell you why. It may not be their intention but a narcissist lacks the very foundations of a healthy intimate relationship which makes it impossible to establish trust and an equal power dynamic.
Despite appearing like the most charming people, narcissists’ traits prevent them from actually being able to care and nurture relationships which results in toxic, manipulative, and draining ones instead. But there are 6 specific reasons that make it clear as day that a relationship with a narcissist is more trouble than it’s ever worth.
Do you want to learn a secret technique anyone can master that will make someone fall in love with you?
It’s Their World, We’re Just Living in It
Narcissists have a really skewed view of reality where they’re at the center of it and everyone else has just been placed on this earth to cater to their needs. With narcissists, you’re either with them or against them and if they start to feel like they’re losing their grip on you, they have no problem turning on you.
Basically, they’re missing a key ingredient in an intimate relationship and that is truly genuine care. They may care about you in their own way, but they care about themselves more. Your needs are always going to be of second priority to their own. Not only that, but they will find ways to guilt you into putting their needs above your own too. This makes it impossible to have equal give and take and leaves you feeling empty.
No Sense Of Empathy
You know why narcissists always seem to turn the tables on you? It’s because they never actually take the time to see the situation from your eyes. Instead, they are quick to jump to their own defense even if it’s at the cost of making you doubt and rethink your own recollections and perspective.
Narcissists also have no boundaries when it comes to maintaining their power and protecting themselves. That means that they don’t mind resorting to pettiness, aggression, revenge, or even humiliation to get their way and come out on top. Just as they have the ability to charm you into feeling like their whole world, they know exactly how to break you down from the inside and they use the exact words and actions that they know will hurt you most.
Everyone’s Wrong As Long As They’re Right
A narcissist doesn’t usually believe in therapy, or rehabilitation because they see themselves as superior. They assume they’re always right and that even the people who are there to help aren’t as smart as them so they won’t be able to do anything. It’s ironic but narcissists will say things like “you’re just like everyone else, I thought you were different” never realizing that maybe it’s not you and everyone else that’s the problem, but that they should take a hard look at themselves.
The worst part is that even when they know they’re wrong they’ll continue to refuse to take accountability just so they don’t have to admit to it and apologize. When they do apologize it’s often calculated and a means for them to get what they want or get back on your good side so that they can continue to use you as their supply.
Responsibility? Never Heard Of Her
Narcissists would rather lie their teeth off than take responsibility for something they clearly have done. They will deny events that you have witnessed with your own eyes, put words in your mouth and confuse you by talking so much that you don’t even remember what it is that you wanted them to take responsibility for.
Taking responsibility means owning up to a mistake and attempting to fix it and change it. This is work that narcissists simply don’t want to put the effort into. Instead expect to go in circles time after time again over the same issue, only for it to escalate more and more each time.
Vulernability Is A Weakness
Vulnerability is an integral part of any relationship. For two people to find each other and fall in love, they have to make themselves vulnerable to getting hurt. That means giving up some of their power and control in the name of love. However, narcissists can’t stand the idea of losing control so instead, they see vulnerability as a weakness rather than the key to deeper intimacy.
They pretend to be vulnerable just enough to earn trust and then use the very same vulnerable information you shared with them against you.
Their Way Or The Highway
By now you probably see why an intimate relationship with a narcissist doesn’t work. They may not mean to be but narcissists end up in relationships where they neglect their partners’ needs and at the end of the day neglect and love can’t coexist. They are simply stuck in a state of entitlement and believe that things should always go their way.
Although this is due to their fragile self-esteem and need to be taken care of and validated, it is not your job to make sure all their needs are met, especially when they’re not going through the same effort for you.
We don’t blame you for being frustrated with dating and wanting to stick with what’s comfortable but if you’re struggling to find and keep a quality partner click hereto find out how to break the cycle.
For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.
Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives