5 Techniques Used By Controlling People To Keep People Under Them

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You’ve probably experienced a friendship, intimate relationship, or maybe even a family member with a controlling personality.

They aren’t exactly uncommon to find in people, but they are extremely difficult to deal with on a long-term basis.

People with controlling personalities will try to, well, control you.

They don’t easily accept people who behave or do things differently than they would, and it causes problems for all parties involved.

Unfortunately, people with controlling personalities may not even be aware of what they’re doing when they try to influence the behavior of others.

In fact, people with controlling personalities often feel anxiety when things don’t go according to their plan, which is why they do the things they do.

Here are five ways that someone with a controlling personality will try to keep you under them.

1. They Constantly Criticize

A closeup of a man's eye who's glaring.
Pexels / ahmed zid
Pexels / ahmed zid

Controlling people are never satisfied with the way someone else performs a task.

Something as simple as washing the dishes could be enough to warrant criticism from a controlling person, even if you do it exactly how they want.

If the controlling person isn’t doing it themselves, then it’s being done the wrong way.

2. They Make You Feel Guilty

Guilt is a controlling person’s go-to tool in order to hold dominance. They will use anything and everything at their disposal in order to make a person feel guilty if they don’t do something their way.

This creates a toxic relationship, no matter if it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship.

You shouldn’t do things because you feel guilty, and the person you do them for should never manipulate your feelings.

3. They Impose Arbitrary Rules

Controlling people believe that they know what’s best for everyone at all times, which means they’re going to establish meaningless and unnecessary rules to “help” you through everyday tasks.

These rules could be about anything, including what’s appropriate behavior in a specific setting.

Really, they are absolutely pointless, but the more control they have over you, the better they feel.

4. They Don’t Want You to Be You

Being yourself isn’t good enough for a controlling person; they want you to be like them.

Being an independent person isn’t acceptable, and as soon as you start to show signs of independence, you’re doing something wrong.

A controlling person might get visibly angry when you make a decision without them, or god forbid, against their wishes.

5. They Hate it When You Ask Why

If you are in a relationship with a controlling person, you probably already know not to ask why, unless you want to create serious problems.

Controlling people hate to be questioned, and since they know everything, they can’t wrap their minds around someone questioning their logic.

Their word is law and it should never be up for debate.

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Higher Perspectives Author

Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives