I'll Never Fit In

7 Contradicting Traits of The INFJ Personality Type That Make It Hard To Understand

All humans are at least somewhat contradictory. It's who we are. We have different wants at different times. We can be real difficult to pin down. And the INFJ is no different.

INFJ is a personality type defined by the Myers-Briggs personality classification.

It stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. Broadly, INFJs tend to be more insightful about others than most other types.

Myers-Briggs defines these people as those who seek meaning and connection in ideas and relationships, as well as material possessions.

But the INFJ in particular is very complex, which leads to some dualistic tendencies and contradicting traits that border on hypocritical at times.

We'll break down these traits below.

1. They hate being here but they want to make it better

INFJ's have a great deal of difficulty feeling like they belong and like where they are matters.

In a lot of ways, they don't really care where they are. But they also like to make things better wherever they go.

But where they happen to go is another story. While INFJ wants to see things improve where they are, where they are can change on a whim.

They're the types to move across country for no reason in particular or switch houses for the fun of it. INFJs don't easily feel like they're at home and rarely stick in one spot.

Still, if there's an INFJ in your life, chances are your life is going to get a lot better, even if they don't stick around for too long.

Enjoy your time with your INFJ, even if it's fleeting. And hopefully one day they'll find the place they'll call home.

2. Their feet are on the ground but their heads are in the clouds

INFJs are grounded, rational, sensible people who love metaphysical woo and deep philosophical ideas.

On one hand, they want themselves and their people to be grounded and sane but they still love ghost stories, spiritual conversations, and deep philosophical intrigue that can go on and on and on.

This tends to make the INFJ well rounded and wise, if not a bit silly and hard to understand.

INFJs, because of all this, tend to come off as a little bit otherworldly. While they want to live a simple life, they tend to have extravagant tastes.

They tend to want to be minimalists but can't let go of all the cool stuff they've collected.

3. They stand up for others, but not themselves

INFJs are like superheroes to everyone but themselves.

They are caring and attentive of others and would jump in front of a bullet for you.

They're empathic, they feel the emotions and the senses of other people and would do dang near anything to make the people in their lives happy and exude positivity.

But conversely, they are almost incapable of doing any of those things for themselves. They'll stand up for you, but rarely will they stand up to you.

INFJs are very conscious of hurting the feelings of others, which makes them less likely to speak up on their own behalf out of fear of causing problems for someone else.

Even when the other person is so seriously wrong, INFJs just kinda let it go.

It comes at a great cost to INFJ more often than not, but the strength of their friends helps them through choppy waters and rocky situations.

That's the benefit of sticking up for just about everyone you know.

4. They're messy clean

INFJs have an unusual space.

They're often very meticulous about cleaning but not very meticulous about being organized, or vice versa.

It's not uncommon to sit down at the desk of an INFJ and see it covered in dust and old coffee mugs but open a desk drawer and everything inside of it will be pristine and well placed.

INFJs are creative types, so they rarely settle for a space that looks the same for longer periods of times.

Tidiness may seem like madness and cleanliness like an insane waste of time.

The imperfections of an INFJ's space is what makes them feel whole, safe, secure, and interesting.

Their homes will probably look different to you each time that you visit because they're constantly arranging and rearranging things.

Go with the flow.

5. They're creative but sensible

INFJs are in the middle of the road when it comes to balancing dreams and action. In particular, they're very creative but also sensible.

They're the kinds of people who have incredible artistic talent but chose to pursue a business degree instead and, in the middle of life, open an etsy shop that sells chicken sweaters, their creative speciality (obviously).

Their rational, sensible side measures out just about every single thing an INFJ does, which can be tedious if you're in a relationship with one.

Decisive action isn't common and when a decision is made, for the most part, it's a pretty safe decision.

They're not the biggest risk takers even though they have some pretty big dreams.

INFJs tend to have a very strong set of values and aren't all that spontaneous.

When an INFJ puts their mind to something big, there really is next to nothing they cannot accomplish.

6. They're chill but demand perfection

INFJ are a pretty relaxed people. They kinda go with the flow and do whatever.

But in a way, they're perfectionists. Don't worry though, that perfectionism is mostly inwardly focused, not an expectation on the people around them.

That wouldn't be all that chill, would it? At heart, INFJ wants to be wacky, spontaneous, and fun.

But they're often drawn back to their strong core values that really don't allow for that kind of behavior.

Instead, they keep their feet firmly on the ground and find more subtle ways to get their rebellious tendencies out of their systems.

Sometimes rebellion to an INFJ is simply rebelling against the structure they've set up for themselves.

7. They want to be left alone with all of their friends

INFJs are loners at heart, but they're socialites as well. It's an odd combination.

They tend to be introverted, often thinking about what's happening inside of their own minds instead of what's going on around them.

Yet INFJs enjoy the company of others. It comes from the sensitive, warm nature of the INFJ. They enjoy their alone time but can't resist the urge to bring people in, cook dinner, have drinks, and talk until dawn.

While they're private, they crave the ability to share their life and their space with the people in their life.

But don't be too surprised when INFJ simply disappears for days on end after a large gathering. Like most introverts, they'll need time to fully recharge.


Why Some People See Ghosts While Others Don’t, According To Science

You would be surprised at how many people report sightings and apparitions of ghosts. However, some people are more prone to make these reports than others. For example, some studies show that almost half of widowed elderly Americans see a hallucination of their departed spouse. So are they are real or they just hallucinations we dream of during emotionally intense periods?

That's a hard question to answer because the definition of seeing ghosts can depend on the person. If we a define it as "sensing a presence" then it can be as simply as just feeling rather than actually "seeing." Thsi can happen in all kinds of states like when you're awake, or asleep, and when you're grieving or just focused enough to notice. In all cases, science can now explains why ghosts can be seen by some people, and not others.

The Fear Of Ghosts Itself

woman in black dress standing in front of trees

darksouls1 / Pixabay Via canva

Some people are scared of the paranormal. It's not necessarily the ghosts themselves that make them feel uneasy, but the meeting of the unknown and the possibility of something they don't understand that defies the laws of nature as they've come to understand it. For that reason, these people don't particularly enjoy darkness, thunderstorms, or horror stories. However, the brain is funny that way. It's possible that it's the fear itself that tricks the mind into interpreting certain events as "paranormal.' This could be because the mind is already oriented towards that risk. Think of it like when you go do a presentation and work yourself up so you forget all your lines.

On the other hand, those who don't give much thought to ghosts, aren't opening themselves up to the possibility of seeing them. So chances are, even if ghosts are real and have shown themselves to them, these people likely brushed it off with a more rational explanation.

Inability To Breath Properly

woman blows into flower

Nia Koepfer / Unsplash

​We take our ability to let the breath in and back out naturally for granted. However, when you actually bring awareness to the breath you can control its speed which can have good or harmful effects on your mind and body. For some people, breathing is actually harder because their brains don't get enough oxygen to operate properly. This could be developed with habits like smoking which is known as cerebral anoxia.

When the brain is deprived of oxygen it can start to play tricks on the mind. It'll see things that aren't there or hear voices that aren't present. These hallucinations can feel like out-of-body experiences and mimick ghost sightings and other paranormal activity.

Being Exposed To Carbon Monoxide Poisoning

man wearing with mask with smoke around him

Daniel Ramos / Unsplash

Usually, paranormal sightings are accompanied by physical systems like dizziness, nausea, and shortness of breath. Do you know what else causes these symptoms? Carbon monoxide poisoning. So when people report that their house is haunted, they probably should also double-check that their monoxide detector is working well.

This odorless gas often goes undetected despite sometimes having fatal repercussions. People who have been infected by the poisoning are more prone to hallucinations that make them believe in ghosts.

High Stress Situations

man standing outside at sunset with hands covering his face

Francisco Moreno / Unsplash

A study tried to find the differences between people who have never had a paranormal experience and those who have. They found that supernatural experiences most likely happened in threatening or ambiguous environments. This means that stress was often a factor and the more in danger a person felt, the more likely they were to "see ghosts."

For example sailors, mountain climbers, and polar explorers often come home with vivid stories of ghosts following them, living in abandoned ships, or sending them rescuers. These people were often in life or death situations that amplified their sense of a paranormal presence

Inability To Sleep Properly

woman laying in a bed of flowers with eyes closed

Ann Danilina / Unsplash

One of the easiest ways to start losing your mind and ability to tell reality from distortion is by losing enough sleep. Eventually, insomnia takes over the sleep-deprived mind to play all kinds of tricks. Sleep is vital for a sharp mind and alert sensations.

The less sleep they have the more likely a person is to lose their sense of reality and get lost in a world they deem paranormal. Maybe this is the only time they're able to let go of the conditioning that prevents them from seeing ghosts. Maybe that's why children have an easier time seeing them and then grow out of it. Or maybe these people just need more sleep.

Being Surrounded By Technology

satellite image of earth with technology connections

NASA / UNsplash

In today's day and age, it's almost impossible to escape technology. We're surrounded by electrical appliances, televisions, phones, even if they aren't our own. To operate, these technologies create strong electromagnetic fields around them. Studies have shown that these electromagnetic fields interfere with our biological setup such as the electromagnetic field which our minds create.

Some people are more impacted and exposed to these effects, making them more prone to conjuring up ghosts. Keep in mind, that often reports of ghost sightings tell stories of ghosts who disrupt these fields such as by randomly turning on the tv or increasing the volume on the radio on their own

Living In Isolation Or Unusual Circumstances

man stands facing a window in complete darkness

Sasha Freemind / Unsplash

Similarly as when experiencing high levels of stress people who have become isolated in an extreme or found themselves in unusual environments were more likely to "see ghosts" This is probably due to their need to feel like someone or something else was also with them as a coping mechanism.

Usually, they can't describe the experience in detail but out's more of a vague feeling they remember like someone was watching them. ,

Looking Inwards

woman sits on couch on blanket with her face in her hands

Annie Spratt / Unsplash

A study proposed that we spend a lot of time processing the sensations from the world around us. But when we encounter a sensation that we're unprepared to process, like extreme loneliness or survival, we start to look inwards. This means that our greatest perception ability is the one we find in ourselves. If you're looking for more information on how you experience the world around you specifically, then you'll need your own zodiac reading

Take a quick zodiac reading here to find out what your universe has to say about you right now. Understand your purpose and your potential so that you can take control of your emotions, your life, and your future by clicking HERE.