6 Things You Should Never Tolerate In Your Relationship
While many desire a strong, capable and loyal partner, not everyone knows how to hold on to them once found. The rules for being with a strong character or a more meek personality are basically the same.
They prioritize things differently and will react differently to various affronts. Be prepared for some potentially emotional and verbal skirmishes, as any tenacious and confident lover won't hesitate to fight when they feel it justified.
If you are in a relationship with a powerful person, the list below will help you communicate more clearly and work towards a better relationship. If you feel that you are not being all you can be romantically, the list will also provide some standards to help you realize your own.
Their Partner's Ex Hanging Around
This is a common occurrence and an awful drag. Whether their ex is physically, digitally, or in remembrance still a part of their life, the effect is the same. Focusing on the future (and present) is all the more harder if there are constant and powerful reminders still present.
Life isn't always cut and dried. Maybe the ex is their boss, neighbor or just happens to be around more. The two of you need to communicate honestly and openly about how this is affecting both of you, individually and in the relationship.
Within reasonable means, everything should be done to limit or remove past relationships from your current one
A Lack Of Support
As we grow older and go through the crazy spin of this life's experiences, we realize how precious it is to have the strong and loyal support of those close to you. That list may be shockingly smaller than we anticipate.
The seats closest to you need to be filled by people that will nurture, support, and love you. If they can't, or won't do this, then that person isn't deserving of that seat.
This example is especially hard for me. It takes time, experience and trust to be able to reveal our inner selves to someone else. The more a person understands you, the more influence they have with you. We all fear the possibility of pain that can occur during breakups and life's journey.
To have the luxury of a warm fire on a cold night, you run the risk of being burned. You aren't guaranteed a blister every time, but you will most likely collect one over time. Your spiritual self can be hardier than your physical self, in that it heals magnificently. Strong people know this and do their best to love unflinchingly and without regret.
While nobody likes being disrespected, not everyone will actively rebel against its presence. Strong people don't shy away from necessary conflicts. From your partner of all people, disrespect damages the bond between those in the dialogue. They may let it slide with a warning a few times but they will not stick around to be hurt.
After each incident, time and resources have to be spent to heal and 'catch up' to where the relationship was. After enough incidents, the amount of time, resources and trust spent backtracking makes the relationship too costly, too heavy to stay in.
No matter who is in the relationship, what their pasts are, or what they want to be, both people must sit as equals. Both need to feel empowered to make decisions, speak their mind and be informed. This balance will take time, but if you try and keep a powerful person down, they will show you their strength in the break-up.
While both should feel that they can say and do what they think is right, that doesn't give them the right to dramatically affect the other's life without consulting with them first.
The desire for perfection, or control can run away from us at times. It is on each person to watch and restrain the urges to control and micro-manage our partner's life. I normally hear excuses like, "your life would be better if you just", or "I don't understand why you can't just trust me".
Don't ever think that you are sly enough to mask your criticisms with good intentions. Any self-confident individual will spot it for what it is, and reject it. Try it enough times and they will drop you as well.
We all want to help the people we love. There are respectful and non-confrontational ways to be constructive. What separates the confident from the arrogant is the willingness to re-evaluate their position and genuinely consider different perspectives.