Navigating the dating game is challenging enough without having to worry that the person you’re falling for might be totally faking part of their personality. That’s part of the premise behind “nice girls,” the female equivalent to the well-known “nice guy” in the dating world.
Women who self-identify as “nice girls” are the women who are constantly harping on guys for being shallow but are actually casting all that shade from the shallow end of the dating pool. If you want to know who they are, and how to avoid them, read on to learn the basics of “nice girls”—spoiler alert, they’re not exactly nice.
She Was Not What She Seemed
So many people have felt personally burned by the “nice girl” they encountered that there’s an entire subreddit dedicated to exposing and mutually bonding over “nice girl” experiences.
The community description says: “For women who complain that men are shallow for not dating overweight women, while also demanding that their man have washboard abs.” Also, “For the women who hold others to the highest possible standard, but have no standards for themselves.” Ouch.
No Means Yes And Yes Means No So Just Be A Mindreader
In true “nice girl” fashion, one woman shared that she was asked on a date by a man but initially rejected him hoping he would “try harder” and was confused when he didn’t.
A man online responded to her with an anecdote explaining the serious flaw in her logic. Just say what you mean and mean what you say!
“I Dodged A Bullet” With This Nice Girl
What seemed like an innocent enough interaction with this “nice girl” turned sour fast when she found out her date also didn’t feel a spark.
After a date, this man received a text from the woman he had seen saying she wasn’t interested and was “sorry to let [him] down xo.” The man responded saying he also didn’t feel the connection but that he did have a nice time. She immediately became defensive and called him pathetic along with a slur of other insults. Thankfully he seems to be aware that he dodged a bullet there.
When A Nice Girl Is Rejected, She Goes For The “I’m Out Of Your League Anyway”
Women have long been familiar with men who get super offended and aggressive when they’re rejected. It’s less common for men to experience such an egotistical reaction from women when they are rejected, but it definitely does happen and this woman is a perfect example.
Some women can’t handle a simple “no, thank you” and set out to make the man feel bad about himself or his choice. As a woman, we don’t claim her.
“Can You Tell Him To Break Up With His Girl Because I’m Probably Nicer Tbh”
Someone took a screenshot of this conversation where a “nice girl” reached out to ask about whether his friend was single.
Instead of taking no for an answer, she boldly said he should break up with his girlfriend because she thinks she’s “nicer tbh.” The last time I checked, sabotaging a relationship is not exactly the picture of niceness.
A Woman Who Judges People Like This Is A Major Red Flag
It would certainly have caused some backlash if a man decided to tweet this about a woman.
After all, children don’t define your success as a human, nor does being single over the age of 30. There are a lot of issues here.
Body-Positive YouTuber Told Women Won’t Like Him After Weight Loss
This horrible comment was left on a YouTube video where a man talks about learning to accept his loose skin after significant weight loss.
Weirdly disguised as a compliment, “I’m glad you are ok with your body,” turns into the commenter explaining that a woman will not be attracted to him and will not be confident with him on display at the beach. She ends the post by saying “just food for thought” and complimenting him again. Is it possible that this woman honestly believes she was being nice and helpful?
Nice Girls Love A Good Double Standard
If you have to go through your partner’s phone to be sure you can trust them, the red flags are flying high. But for “nice girls,” it’s one way they can be sure to keep tabs on their man.
As long as he doesn’t ask to check her phone in return it’s all good; “nice girls” love a good double standard.
Girlfriend Is Insanely Jealous Over Affection Given To Cat
There’s a lot to take in here, starting with the fact that it was shared to an Atheists vs. Christians debate page and ending with the fact that the woman who posted it is ridiculously jealous of her boyfriend’s cat.
The “nice girl” facade is about to slip for this guy when his girlfriend tells him she wants him to ditch his cat because she’s jealous of it. People online were quick to point out that the cat is not the thing he should be getting rid of.
I Don’t Care If He’s Your Cousin, Don’t Like His Photos
Can you say psycho? Someone texted a stranger about liking her boyfriend’s photos on Instagram. Too bad the girl in question is actually the boyfriend’s cousin.
Except the girlfriend is not deterred by their relation and makes her weird stance on picture-liking super clear.
Excessive Texter Hates When Her Boyfriend Sleeps
This girl had no shame in her crazy when she asked why she didn’t get a response to her previous 5k messages. It’s unclear what was so important that she needed to hear back from sleeping beauty ASAP.
Honestly, if a man sent that many messages to my phone while I was trying to sleep, he would earn a quick block and delete. Major “nice girl” stalker vibes here.
The Classic “I Don’t Want Anything”
“Nice girls” on the Reddit thread are renowned for saying one thing but actually wanting or meaning something completely different.
Here’s an example of a woman saying she “doesn’t want anything” and then being upset when she doesn’t get anything. Play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.
“Girls Like Me Just Can’t Get A Break”
Similar to the dreaded “nice guy” who goes for the pity approach when trying to get a girl to go out with him, this “nice girl” did the exact same thing. With an actual reference to “girls like me just can’t get a break.”
She fishes around for some compliments before turning angry and insulting at the guy who told her he wasn’t interested (because he has a girlfriend, who is probably actually nice).
The Gym Is For Flirting, Not Working Out
This woman whines about why “buff guys at the gym” don’t talk to her, even though she’s cute. First off, why doesn’t she go talk to them?
She seems like the type who would also have something to say if a less-buff guy wanted to chat with her. She’s very specific in her wants…probably as specific as those gym guys are about finishing an uninterrupted workout.
“Everybody Knows That ‘No’ Means Surprise Me”
Another dude burned by the “I said no but I really meant yes” nice girl trope.
Wouldn’t it just be easier to communicate that you actually want something instead of being disappointed after?
Broken Xbox Games Will Lead To Broken Hearts
The phrase “if guys just went for nice girls like myself they would never get their hearts broken” has been peddled around by the “nice girl” for almost as long as men have been using their version of it.
Either way, the general statement is usually coupled with some self-pity and the idea that dating the “nice” girl/guy will solve all your problems and you’ll live happily ever after. Truth is, nobody is nice all the time, and love makes us do crazy things.
Kylene Loucks is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives