Relationships

Someone Who Asks For Nothing But Your Company

5 Differences Between True Love and Toxic Love

Love and lust find their way to us in sometimes unpredictable ways. The two feelings can feel very similar when you're dating someone, but there are definitely some defining differences between the two.

Have you ever been completely infatuated with someone after meeting them, but find yourself sick of them a few weeks later? That's definitely not true love, but it's not exactly toxic love either.

You can be romantic and have intimate relationships without being in love, and those relationships shouldn't become toxic to your mental health.

There are 5 key differences between true love and toxic love in this humble author's mind. Let's dig right in.

Difference #1

In true love, the development of self is most important. Both parties should want the best for one another.

In toxic love, the primary focus is on the relationship itself, sometimes obsessing over how the two people involved interface.

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Difference #2

In true love, there is comfort in separate interests. We can have our own friends and meaningful relationships outside of our romantic relationships. We can pursue interests and ideas without fear of reprimand.

In toxic love, there is total involvement in one another's lives. One can't go anywhere without the other. This is codependency.

Difference #3

In true love, there's no struggle in embracing the individuality of your partner.

In toxic love, there is an obsession with trying to change your partner into someone you'd rather be with instead of loving them for who they are.

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Difference #4

In true love, intimacy is a free choice that grows from love and trust, caring and friendship.

In toxic love, intimacy is something you feel pressured over due to fear, insecurity, and feeling as though you have to conform to the intimate desires of your partner.

Difference #5

In true love, every conversation is constructive, trying to understand and help, or convey affection to your partner.

In toxic love, conversations are intended to blame, defend, or manipulate your partner.

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Uplifting

The World's Oldest Person Just Turned 119, But What's Fascinating Is How She Spends Her Days

The oldest person in the world just recently celebrated her 119th birthday in a nursing home in southwestern Japan. Now if you're picturing an immobile old lady who does nothing bt spend her days in bed, think again. This woman may be at the end of her days, but she is still full of life.

The way that she spends her every day should be an inspiration to all of us that we're never too old to put in the effort everyday to live it to the fullest. After all, what's the point in living if we don't actually feel alive? Here's how she does it.

She Has Watched The Whole World Change

Black and white photo of Tanaka in her youth

@Elizabeth_Ruler / Twitter

When you've lived almost a century and a quarter long, you're bound to probably feel like you're in your own science fiction movie by the end. The world has drastically changed over the years. When Kane Tanaka was born, in 1903 in Japan, life was much simpler. This was the same year that the Wright brothers powered their first flight. Kane grew up around her nine siblings before she married a rice shop owner when she turned 19 years old.

Since then she has lived through wonders including two world wars, two pandemics, the rise of technologies, and more life changes than we could possibly imagine.

Today, Her Routine Is Quite Unique

Recent Photo of Tanaka

@Elizabeth_Ruler / Twitter

​Just because she has lived a long and meaningful life, doesn't mean that she's done living each day to the fullest. What's really fascinating about Kane's long life is the way that she chooses to live every day.

It turns out that even at her nursing home, Kane wakes up every morning bright and early at 6 a.m. and spends part of her day studying mathematics. She keeps her mind sharp and alert by spending the day solving number puzzles and playing board games. She has gotten so good at this that in 2019, she became an expert in the game of Othello, a strategy board game, even beating the nursing home's younger staff.

She Has Broken New Records

"Happy Birthday" candles on cake

Annie Spratt / Unsplash

Kane is now part of the Guinness World Records and has been since turned 117 and became Japan's oldest living person. On her birthday, Guinness even tweeted her a happy birthday and shared a video of her from 2019, when she was officially given the title.

Unfortunately, while Kane has adapted to much of the modern world, she hasn't made it as far as setting her own Twitter account to reply. Nonetheless, everyone who saw the tweet was inspired by her will to live as well as the way she chooses to live.

She's Got The Right Attitude

close up on puzzle

Sigmund / Unsplash

Tanaka sounds like a delightful woman who emits all kinds of positive vibes. Her personality exceeds her intelligence and love for math because just like the average person, Tanaka also shares a strong love for fizzy drinks and chocolate. In fact, when she was gifted a box of chocolates during her Guinness ceremony, someone asked her how many chocolates she wanted to eat, she replied, "100." And why shouldn't she? When you've lived that long there is no reason not to indulge and maximize life's little pleasures.

Tanaka carried the same attitude when she was crowned Japan's oldest person at 117 and celebrated with a coke. Tanaka's positivity is radiant and comes across in all her gestures. When she was sent flowers on Respect for the Aged Day, she expressed her gratitude by making a peace sign.

Maybe Chocolate Is The Key

fancy chocolate displayed with chocolate sauce on a silver plate

Universal Eye / Unspash

Tanaka has another three years to go until she breaks the all-time record for the oldest person that has lived, which right now is held by Jeanne Louise Calment from France, who lived to 122 years. Currently, she holds the record for the world's oldest currently living person since Jeanne has since passed.

What's interesting about these two women is their love for their chocolate. They say that Jeanne ate two pounds of chocolate a week! Could chocolate be the new fountain of youth? The answer is probably in how these two women carried themselves in their youth and the way they're able to see the good in the everyday. However, Japan is known to hold one of the longevity rates in the world which have increased significantly in the last 60 years.

How Much Longer Do You Have left?

hand holds levitating leaf in its palm

Ravi Roshan / Unsplash

​No matter how old or young you are in this moment, you are still alive for a reason. Make every moment count, have no regrets. Live every day to the fullest and find within it a reason to be happy. If you're still looking for a purpose, take a quick zodiac reading here to find out what your universe has to say about you right now.

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