There are many steps between two strangers meeting and falling in love. However, usually, the process involves some kind of flirting that signals interest and helps the relationship move forward. But, when a woman tries to flirt with a man who is clueless about her efforts, it can really slow the process down or even make her feel rejected and make her give up.
The following men didn't even realize that a woman was flirting with them till it was too late Here are their confessions.
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Clueless Guys Can't Read Women According To Study
The root of the problem and the reason behind many missed opportunities is that men can't tell when a woman is just being friendly or actually showing interest. They find it easier to assume it's not flirting so that they don't read into it and make a fool of themselves.
However, what happens is that they accidentally reject the woman. According to a study published in Psychological Science, scientists found that men were more likely to misinterpret when a woman was sending signals that she was interested in and when she was sending signals that she just wanted to be friends.
"Young men just find it difficult to tell the difference between women who are being friendly and women who are interested in something more," said lead researcher Coreen Farris.
Take The Phone Number
In a thread shared on Reddit, men proved that study right by confessing, one by one, moments when a woman was obviously flirting with them, but it completely went over their heads:
"I was on a plane ride back from vacation one year when I was 16-ish. I went to the front of the plane to use the restroom, and as I'm walking back to my seat, this girl hands me a piece of paper and goes, 'You dropped this.'
I’m one hundred percent confident that I didn’t have any paper in my pocket beforehand, so I politely say, 'No, I didn’t, but thank you.;
'Yes. You did. You dropped this,' she says firmly.
At this point, I’m irritated that this girl clearly doesn’t realize that I’m more aware of the contents of my pockets than she is, so I tell her once again, in front of increasingly bewildered passengers, that I did not drop any paper.
Her mom (I assume) laughs, and the poor girl, exasperated at this point, says, 'Just take the paper!' So I say, 'Fine!' and return to my seat, where my parents laugh at me while I open the paper with her phone number on it and realize I’m the dumbest person I will ever meet." buckeyegy030 / Reddit
All For A Kiss
"Years ago, I was crushing on this girl hard, for months. A few days before Christmas one year, she comes waltzing up to me unexpectedly at work, wearing one of those party headbands with a springy plastic mistletoe bouncing around over her head. She says something like, 'Hey, what's up? Like my hat?'
'Uh…yeah, cute,' I say.
'It’s mistletoe…,” she says, with a big shaky grin. 'People have been trying to kiss me, can you believe it!
I respond with. 'Yeah. That sound’s pretty inappropriate,'
She says, 'Oh, ok' and hightails it out of the building without looking at another person.'"
Idiot.—Monsieur_Pounce / Reddit
Kiss Or Kill?
A girl once said to me, 'did you know that if people look you a lot in the eyes, it means that they either want to kiss or kill you?' and then she stared me down. I was very confused about why she would want to kill me if she had spent so much time talking with me.—_wemmew_
In this guy's defense, while there is a fine line between love and hate, there are better pick-up lines out there. It seems like the common problem here is that these advances aren't direct, and it's hard for men to interpret them in the way they're intended. The more direct, the better!
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The Million Dollar Question
"I was 22 and working as a cashier at Target. After I give her the receipt, I turn around to restock the bags. When I turn back, she hands me the receipt, smiles, and walks away.
I look at the receipt and she has written her phone number. Immediately, I yell, 'Why did you write your phone number?' She comes back, takes the receipt, crumbles it up, and says, 'If you have to ask, you're not ready.” Walks away.
I explained this to one of my co-workers, and it hit me.—eyes_are_grey
This is a great example that sometimes what it comes down to is that the man is simply not yet ready for a relationship. This can be either because they're emotionally unavailable or because they're going through growth that they need to do on their own.
The Only One
A girl once told me that out of all the guys she knows I would be the only one she would date and I responded saying 'sweet.'—asif6646
It looks like the lesson to take here for women is to be as direct as possible and use statements that can't be interpreted as anything but interest. As for the man, if you're not sure, ask for clarity. It takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to let someone know you like them, so if a woman is putting in the effort, try to meet her halfway.
Lost In Translation
Studies have found that the line between flirting and friendliness is a really blurry one. Men are often afraid of assuming interest and women do get offended when their niceness is mistaken for advances.
This has become known as the "lost in translation" phenomenon. Studies found that about 70 percent of college women reported an experience in which a guy mistook her friendliness for a sexual come-on. That's why the more straight up you are, the better for everyone involved. If you like someone, this is your sign to just tell them.
Ask For What You Want
It can be scary to ask someone out or flirt with them if you're unsure if they like you back. But you'll never know if you never ask, and even if rejection is the worse possible outcome, nothing really changes. The possibility of love is worth the risk and effort of being as direct as possible.
Try statements like "Wow, I really enjoy spending time with you" that are forward and validating. After all, life is too short for guessing games, so if you enjoy spending time with someone, why not just tell them?
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