We form relationships with everyone we meet.
With certain people, we nurture and develop that relationship into a friendship or something more. The way we discern which relationships we choose to develop is a highly personal and unique method.
The reasons we seek out a special relationship with someone is endless.
As the relationship develops we learn more about them and as individuals, we grow and our needs shift. You can find yourself one day unsure about the practicality and need for a person to be in our life.
As you examine their behavior, look at yours as well.
Are you acting in such a way that, if they were to read this list, they would put your name by some of these behaviors?
Having To Be Super Considerate And Sensitive With Them
We are talking about having to be beyond reasonable levels of respect and consideration. It’s almost like they are looking for a fight.
Or they are trying to get emotional responses from you, above the normal ones you provide?
Regardless, if they can’t support their own mental needs how are they going to help you when you need it? All the energy spent stopping their bridges from falling could be spent on your needs.
It’s alright to help a friend in a rut but if they make no efforts to change or better their situation, you need a better friend.
Feeling Like You have To Hunt Them Down Or Beg To Hang Out With Them
Everyone has a busy schedule. Even if it seems like doesn’t have the time of day for you then it shows how unimportant they see you as.
If they valued your presence they would request it. If they respected your feelings, they would at least make a gesture of intention.
This lack of appreciation makes a person feel many unwanted emotions and fuels negative mental formations.
Feeling Like You Don’t Deserve Them
If someone truly cares about you, they will make you acknowledge your own validity and importance.
They love you for all your flaws and imperfections, understanding that the sum of negative formations within yourself are not equal to or greater than the sum of positive formations.
Excusing Them And Justifying Their Behavior
When you do this you are really making excuses and reasons as to why you spend time with them. Friendships don’t have to be justified.
When you do you are revealing that the connection between you is weak.
You shouldn’t have to apologize for someone else’s mistakes.
It someone is constantly rude and disrespectful to you or things you care about then they start to damage your mental health.
The justifications and apologies, compound the effects, instead of help.
Feeling Anxious When Thinking Of And Being Around Them
A friend or partner is someone that should inspire feelings of safety, loyalty, love and support. When you spend time with them they should make you feel these emotions.
If they don’t, then it means you can’t trust them or count on their support. When we expect something good to happen and only negative things occur, it leaves us in a drained position.
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Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives