Psychologists Say These Are The 7 Ways We Fall In Love With A Partner

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For most people, finding your true love is something you dream about and wish for since early childhood. While we often think about our ideal partners and our fantasy wedding gowns, we tend to overlook the hard work that relationships truly take.

A long-term partnership can feel like a rocky road when it’s not nurtured properly. But, psychology says that by doing these seven things daily, you will always feel obnoxiously in-love.

For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.

Communication Is Key

The secret to long-lasting love is good communication. Communicating your feelings with your partner and giving them the time and space to share their own does wonders for a healthy heart.

A man and woman walking hand in hand on a bridge.
Sangria Senorial / Unsplash
Sangria Senorial / Unsplash

When we communicate honestly and openly, there’s no room for passive-aggressiveness or anxious insecurities because you will always know what one another is thinking. Avoiding conflicts and unnecessary drama will leave more room for happiness to stay in love.

“Relationships grow stale generally because the couple avoids confronting the issue…” explains Psychotherapist Franklin Porter, Ph.D. says

Spice It Up In The Bedroom

Intimacy is an integral part of a romantic relationship. While intimacy is thrilling and exciting at the beginning of a blossoming partnership, it can become dull and forced as time goes on. Try exploring new things in the bedroom to rekindle the fire between you and your partner.

two sets of feet under white blanket
Womanizer Toys / Unsplash
Womanizer Toys / Unsplash

It’s essential that being intimate doesn’t start to feel like a chore. The more excited you are to connect with your significant other physically, the more your souls will meet in the middle. So release all of your inhibitions and keep it fun!

“Partners begin to take their love for granted and forget to keep themselves turned on and to continue to seduce their partner,” explains Sari Cooper, LCSW, licensed individual, couples, and sex therapist.

Focus On Yourself

When we’re deeply in love with someone, it’s normal to want to spend every waking moment with them. While spending a lot of time with your partner is great, focusing on yourself and maintaining your independence is crucial to keeping the relationship healthy.

A woman sitting on her bed drinking tea and reading a book.
Toa Heftiba / Unsplash
Toa Heftiba / Unsplash

Alone time gives you the opportunity to remember who you are. Too much time spent with a significant other can cause us to lose our sense of self, which will build resentment in a relationship. If you miss your partner, that’s okay! It’ll make it that much more exciting to see them tomorrow.

When you go home to Yours Truly, you’ll both be recharged and ready to come together even stronger,” says CEO of MeetMindful, Amy Baglan

It’s The Little Things

The little things that you do for your partner don’t go unnoticed. It’s easy to feel neglected by our partners when they become busy and forget to go the extra mile to show us that they care.

A ma and woman cuddling on a white bed.
Becca Tapert / Unsplash
Becca Tapert / Unsplash

Ask how their day went; kiss them good morning and good night; buy them flowers. These small gestures are the key to maintaining a happy relationship. It’s as simple as remembering to say “I love you” every day.

Our brains are wired to respond to rewards so when you celebrate the little things your partner does, you enhance their motivation to keep on doing them, according to research by Teresa Amabile from Harvard Business School.

Surprise Them

Everybody loves surprises, especially when they come from someone we love. Surprising your partner with a gift or a treat is a quick and easy way to make their day. Not only will it make them happy at the moment, but regular surprises will keep someone feeling in love.

A small brown box being exchanged between a guy and girl.
Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash
Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash

If you’re in the budget to splurge, gifting your partner a new diamond or handbag will have them bragging about you all week long. But, something as thoughtful as dropping them off a coffee at work is sure to do the trick.

A surprise that is positive releases more intense feelings of happiness or pleasure than we normally would had we received the same thing without the surprise. We then associate our partner with the positive feelings triggered by the surprise.

Quality Time

Quality time is a free and easy tool to keep your relationship thriving. Naturally, we spend a lot of time around our partners. However, we don’t always remember to use this time wisely and intentionally.

A young couple cooking dinner together.
Jason Briscoe / Unsplash
Jason Briscoe / Unsplash

Making sure you are focused on your partner and the present moment when you two are making dinner or watching a movie is necessary. We don’t always notice when we’re glued to our phones or stuck on external stressors in our heads. Hanging out can feel like a mundane task, but you can use it as a way to bond and connect with that special someone.

Quality time is also an essential way of releasing the cuddle hormone oxytocin which can strengthen bonds between adults. Oxytocin is typically linked to warm, fuzzy feelings and shown in some research to lower stress and anxiety, which all help make a relationship last.

Do Something Spontaneous

There comes a time in every long-term relationship where it feels like the spark is dying. Eventually, the honeymoon stage ends, and the relationship becomes just another aspect of your everyday life.

A restaurant table with a reserved sign on it.
Hitesh Dewasi / Unsplash
Hitesh Dewasi / Unsplash

To keep the spark alive, a couple needs to put in the effort to purposefully have fun together. Planning fun date nights, trying new food, or exploring new places together will help fuel the romance. Adulthood can put strains on our relationships, but it’s important to stop and remember to have fun along the way! Sponteniouty can work the same way surprises do and associate feelings of excitement and adventure with the relationship.

Practice Gratitude

It’s a common habit to take the things in our life for granted. Like all things, when a person has been in your life for a long time, it’s easy to forget how lucky you are that they chose to love and spend their time with you.

A man and woman riding bikes at sunset, reaching for each other's hand.
Everton Vila / Unsplash
Everton Vila / Unsplash

Practicing gratitude will help you stay in love with your partner by reminding yourself that their commitment is a gift. Reminding them how thankful and happy you are to be their person will certainly keep them feeling appreciated and adored.

In positive psychology research, gratitude is associated with greater happiness because it helps us feel more positive emotions, remember good experiences, improve our health, and more importantly build strong relationships.

Love Is Always Worth It

Love isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. When you meet that special someone that takes your breath away, cherish every day you have with them.

A young couple glaring into each other's eyes at sunset by the water.
Jonathan Leppan / Unsplash
Jonathan Leppan / Unsplash

When we love with open hearts and pure intentions, the universe rewards us with the gift of our soul mates. But, it’s our job to make them feel adored!

We don’t blame you for wanting to stick with what’s comfortable but if you get too comfortable with love that it stops being a daily active choice, then you risk losing it. Click here for more information.

For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.


nicolemior is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives