8 Reasons Why I Don’t Fear Being Single, I Fear Being With The Wrong Person
It can be tempting to settle into a relationship with someone who's not quite right for you. Life can get lonely and it's fun to have someone by your side to enjoy it with. But, being alone can be a lot more fulfilling and rewarding than being with the wrong person. Here are 8 reasons why you should fear being with the wrong person - and not fear being single:
1. Being alone offers space to reflect on your flaws and grow, and the wrong person might criticize those flaws and hold back your growth.
Self-reflection can be done in a partnership, but with the wrong person, it can quickly cause major self-esteem issues and lack of growth or progress.
While single, you can actively identify your flaws and work to make changes in your life that a partnership with just anyone may not allow.
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2. Dealing with the pain of life alone is easier than going through it with a partner who is part of causing that pain.
Life can be hard and it's definitely not easy to go through alone. Having friends and family to share with is important and helpful, but it's not the same as having a partner to confide in and share your burdens with.
But, things get complicated when that partner is making life harder and causing you pain. It's easier to go through life's hardships alone than with someone who inflicts more worry into your life.
3. Time alone can be used for growth and healing, but time with the wrong person can be damaging.
When you're single, you can spend time in personal growth and heal old wounds. You can dive deep into your childhood traumas and explore the parts of you that need a little extra love. That time to yourself to heal, grow, and expand is invaluable. Of course, it would be beautiful to share that with a lover, or partner, who is also on a journey of healing and has the ability to hold that space for you. But it's important you choose that person wisely.
Being with the wrong person might not only hinder personal healing progress, but may actually cause more trauma.
4. Time alone can be used to make connections with people, but time with the wrong person might prevent you from meeting your soulmate.
When you're single, you can go on casual dates, make new friends, and leave doors open to exploring new relationships with a variety of people. This allows you to be open and ready to meet your soulmate when the timing is right.
If you're spending time in a relationship with someone who's not "the one," you may miss out on deeper and purer connections with others. You might even meet your soulmate in passing and be so consumed with someone else that you don't pursue them.
5. Intimate satisfaction can be achieved alone and in a healthier way than with someone who doesn't respect you or connect with you.
Intimate satisfaction can be had alone, and it's more fulfilling and empowering than with someone who doesn't respect you or connect with you on an emotional level.
Exploring intimacy while single can actually enhance your love life when you do find the right person, because you've had time to explore what you like and what you're comfortable with. On the other hand, exploring intimacy with the wrong person can result in trauma and blocks that make intimacy with future partners less enjoyable.
6. Sleeping alone is less painful than sleeping next to someone and still feeling alone.
When you climb into bed at night by yourself, you know that you're alone. You expect to feel alone. And that's ok. But if you're climbing into bed with someone else, you probably expect to feel connected and seen, and if you do feel alone next to that person it's probably more painful than sleeping by yourself.
The wrong partner can leave you feeling alone not just in bed but at all times of day. When you get off work and go home to him or her and feel lonely, that's a sure sign you're with the wrong person and that's far harder than coming home and knowing you're going to be alone.
7. You can enjoy your favorite hobbies alone more than with someone who doesn't enjoy them with you.
It's no secret that having common interests is important in a relationship. When you're with someone who doesn't enjoy doing things with you, or maybe they even make fun of your hobbies, it can be hard to connect with them or enjoy your free time together. Being alone allows you to participate in your favorite activities and hobbies and really enjoy them to the fullest.
8. It's freeing to make decisions for yourself, but making decisions with the wrong person can feel controlling and lead to codependency.
When you have to do everything for yourself, it can be both daunting and rewarding. Making every decision alone from what you have for dinner to if you pay your bills on time and what vacation spot you're hitting that year is a big task that can be empowering and stressful.
Making decisions together, in a partnership, is easier and safer feeling. Not all of the weight is on you. But when that partnership is with the wrong person, joint decision making can quickly escalate to codependency and even control issues. It's a slippery and dangerous slope.
It can be tough, but it's important to stay single until you find that right person for you. Life is easier alone than with the wrong person.
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