Red Flags He Is Micro-Manipulating You Without You Even Noticing

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Manipulation isn’t always as clear as day. It often happens on a micro level that is very subtle and easy to miss. Don’t blame yourself for missing the signs. This is a gradual process that traps you in before you even have a second to realize what is going on.

Yet, if you’re starting to notice but are unsure if it’s all in your head, here are some of the most common red flags of micro-manipulation.

They Always Make You Go To Them

man holds woman from the back by the window

Andrea Piacquadio / Unsplash

Andrea Piacquadio / Unsplash

A manipulator has a much easier time taking control on their home turf. In their home, it’s their rules and they can take as advantage of them as possible. Plus, it makes you vulnerable to them kicking you out whenever they want to assert dominance.

Plus, this is a way for them to show you who is in charge and make you work on their schedule. It’s a way to shift the power dynamic towards them.

The Relationship Moves Very Quickly

couple kiss in the sun

Giorgio Trovato / Pexels

Giorgio Trovato / Pexels

A manipulator will initially come off as the most charismatic and affectionate partner but it’s all a ploy. They’re attempting to overwhelm you with loving gestures to lower your guard and fall for them.

Once they have you in their grasp, they will change their entire demeanor, leaving you feeling confused and working tirelessly to go back to the way things once were. They may give you glimpses of it to keep you around, but in reality, they just enjoy having that kind of power over you.

They Check In Frequently

woman texting by the night lake

Becca Tapert / Unsplash

Becca Tapert / Unsplash

Sure it feels nice to know someone cares about your whereabouts and safety, but there is a fine line between being caring and possessive. A manipulator will use this information against you. They will get upset with you for staying out longer than you said or for not spending enough time around them.

They’re afraid that while away from them, you’ll become aware of their tactics. They would rather you be in their presence where they feel in control.

They Put The Blame On You

man points his finger

Etty Fidele / Unsplash

Etty Fidele / Unsplash

In a attempt to break you down and always be the one in the right, they’ll find ways to turn the tables on you so you’re always the one in the wrong. Be careful of a dynamic where you’re always the one to apologize while they’re the ones who won’t let it go until you do.

Somehow even instances that start out with their wrongdoings will be turned into you apologizing for upsetting them or being too sensitive

They Twist Your Words

man and woman talk upside down

Soniya Dembla / Scopio

Soniya Dembla / Scopio

​Manipulators will make you feel crazy and get you questioning your own version of events by twisting your words and omitting important parts. Lying comes as easy to them as breathing. They have many ways of twisting words such as downplaying an event or throwing so many details at you that you doubt your own memories.

When all else fails they will simply change the subject and make the topic feel irrelevant so that you feel no choice but to let it go.

It’s Their Way Or The Highway

man and woman walk on street

Vladimir Kudinov / Unsplash

Vladimir Kudinov / Unsplash

From the way you cook your rice to the city you chose to settle in, your preferences are merely an illusion. They never actually take your needs or wants into consideration. They have their mind made up and only want things their way.

When they don’t get it, they will throw a tantrum until they do. They will start a fight over nothing, make your suggestions seem dumb, or give you the silent treatment so that you feel the need to cave into their requests.

They Make Assumptions For You

silhouettes of man and woman on city roof

Photo Nic / Unsplash

Photo Nic / Unsplash

​This might start off on a smaller scale, like making your order on your behalf at a restaurant, but it only escalates. A critique on how you dress there and canceling plans for you here, and suddenly they become the dictators of your life.

You feel the need to not only ask for permission before making decisions but also look for their approval. They have a way of making you feel incompetent without them. This leads to co-dependent relationships that are much harder to break.

Higher Perspectives Author

Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives