Relationships take work, but they are so worth the effort with the right person. But if you're in a relationship with the wrong person, putting in the work may be a lost cause and only create heartache for you. There are many reasons why being single is better than being with the wrong person.
You may know you'd prefer to be single than spend time with someone who doesn't value you, but it can be hard to know if your relationship is experiencing normal and healthy hiccups, or if you're with someone who isn't meeting you halfway.
One-sided relationships can be soul-crushing and heartbreaking, but so hard to recognize without taking a deep, hard look at the relationship.
Recognizing the red flags of a one-sided relationship will help you more easily identify if you're in that situation to get out sooner. Here are 8 warning signs you're in a one-sided relationship:
1. They wish you were different.
They "love" you, but they wish you would change. They "care" about you, but there's a lot they wish were different.
They may express their desire for you to change openly, saying things like, "I wish you were like her," or, "Why don't you act this way?"
Or they may hint at their desire for you to change by saying things like, "They do it this way, why can't you?"
They may do things like buy you gifts that don't make sense to you (but make sense to the person they want you to be). For example, they may get you workout clothes when you don't workout because they wish you would workout. Or they may get you an elegant diamond necklace when you'd prefer a simple hemp choker because they wish you were more elegant.
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2. They don't connect with you when you're together.
They're distracted when you spend time together. They may be on their phone or lost in their own thoughts, but they're not fully present with you.
They rarely spend quality time with you and you struggle to connect with them on an emotional level.
3. They exclude you from decision making.
They make decisions for themselves, without consulting you. Even big life decisions, like taking a job in a new town, are made without you. You're simply told after the fact.
Of course, relying on a partner to make decisions can create a codependent and toxic relationship, but when you're in a partnership, it's important to discuss major moves with your partner and value their opinions and perspective.
4. They don't work to communicate.
They don't put an effort into communicating clearly or effectively, even when you do. You may feel like you're constantly working to communicate better and they're just not meeting you halfway.
They may even voice that they don't see a problem with the current communication and get annoyed when you try to better it.
5. They're disrespectful.
They talk about other people in a way that should be reserved for you. When they're out with friends, they may pretend you don't exist and act single. They may say things about other people they find attractive that hurts your feelings, and they don't seem to care. Friends and strangers alike may be unsure of your relationships status based on the way they talk about you or others.
6. They don't support your dreams and goals.
They put you down for wanting to achieve big things in life. They refuse to support your goals and don't believe that you can achieve much. They make you feel silly for wanting to do certain things or get upset if your goals interfere with their own.
7. They're secretive.
They hide their phone from you and are secretive about things. They try to keep you out of their business and don't share much with you about their work life, friends, or thoughts.
8. They make you feel guilty.
They question you and may accuse you of cheating, lying, or keeping secrets. They may make you feel guilty for wanting anything in the relationship, like better communication or to be included in major decision making.
You can have more.
Strong men and strong women don't tolerate this in relationships and you shouldn't either. It's hard, but so worth it to exit a partnership with the wrong person and wait until you meet your soulmate.
Be mindful that you're not putting in all the effort and living with a one-sided relationship. And remember, while these warning signs are a good place to evaluate from, every relationship is different and an unhealthy or one-sided relationship could look different for you and your partner.
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