Relationships

7 Signs You Are In A Narcissistic Relationship

If you want to have a healthy relationship, it's time to stop dating selfish people. Narcissistic behavior can lead to toxic relationships.

Are you dating a narcissist?

Simply put, a narcissist is someone who is in love with themselves. They believe they are the be all and end all.

These individuals have an inflated ego, a self-righteous attitude, and are often some of the worst spouses you could ever have the displeasure of being with.

Why Do People Overlook Selfish Behavior in a Relationship?

If you've ever been in a relationship with someone who doesn't treat you well, leaving them can sometimes feel impossible. But why? When we know we deserve better, why does getting out of the relationship feel like a pipe dream?

Often this has to do with the body's release of the hormone called oxytocin.

Often referred to as a "love drug", this hormone is largely responsible for bonding between partners. This rush of love and attachment has also been shown to increase verbalizations of love and activate the brain's reward system.

Oxytocin is also responsible for increasing trust, which can make you feel comfortable with someone who may not deserve your honesty and devotion.

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Here are 7 telltale signs you are in a narcissistic relationship.

1. Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance

This makes it very difficult to date a narcissist since they are more likely to focus on their own pursuits than making their relationship a priority.

A narcissistic person believes their interests, thoughts, opinions, friends, job, finances, and anything else under the sun is more important than yours.

2. Incapable of Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and enter into your partner's feelings. Not only can you sympathize with your partner, but you feel the same emotions they are feeling.

According to marriage therapists, The quality of empathy is very important in a strong and healthy relationship. However, most narcissists lack empathy and fellow-feeling for their spouses.

3. Inflated Arrogance

One of the biggest signs that you are dating a narcissist is that they will be incredibly arrogant. Likely, your partner will think that people either want to sleep with them or want to be them. Their ego has no bounds.

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4. Need for Reassurance

Marriage therapists define narcissists as a strange mix of extreme arrogance and unbridled lack of self-esteem. It is for this reason that they desire your compliments. they want you to make verbal confirmations of how attractive you find them.

A narcissist wants to hear you praise them about anything. They will shamelessly fish for a compliment about their appearance, talent, behavior, and the list goes on.

This low self-esteem will make it easy to boost up their ego, which will only increase their desire to be paid attention to.

5. Lack of Interest in Spouse

When you first got together, your narcissistic partner probably showed an entirely different side of themselves. They charmed and wooed you. They would have done anything to make you theirs.

But now that they "got" you, they aren't as attentive or invested in the relationship.

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6. Selfish Behavior

Personal vocabulary may play a role in how happy couples are. This makes the "me, me, me" attitude of a narcissist very difficult and unhealthy to deal with.

Why? Selfish speech breeds negative results.

One study shows that partners who used singular speech, for example, saying "I love this restaurant!" instead of "We love this restaurant!" had displayed negative emotional behavior and had lower marital satisfaction.

On the contrary, individuals who use the term "we" on a regular basis, for example, "We love this movie!" instead of "I love this movie!", have a more positive and less negative emotional behavior. They also had lower cardiovascular arousal.

7. Lack of Respect

According to marriage therapists, what makes a lasting marriage includes agreeing on aims and goals, viewing the relationship as sacred, and treating your spouse like your best friend. Respect also plays a large role in relationship happiness.

This is bad news for couples in a narcissistic relationship, as egotistical spouses often lack respect for both their loving partner and those around them.

What to Do When You're Dating a Narcissist

It can be difficult to see what's really going on in your relationship when you're wearing rose colored glasses. If you've seen the light and realize your spouse isn't everything you thought they were, there are four ways to proceed.

1. Communicate

One of the most important things you can do in any relationship, especially one where your partner is displaying selfish qualities is to communicate.

Studies show that communication heightens relationship satisfaction.

Talk to your partner about their behavior and be clear about why it bothers you. Open up in a way that is kind and respectful. This way your spouse won't feel like they are being attacked.

Make a 'game plan' for moving forward with your relationship in a way that satisfies both partners.

2. Seek Couple's Therapy

If you're having difficulty opening up to your spouse, it may be beneficial to seek therapy either by yourself or as a couple. Your counselor will help you learn how to communicate, problem-solve, and face the issues in your relationship.

Couples therapy can also teach you and your spouse to have empathy and show respect to one another, decrease emotional avoidance, and promote the strengths in your relationship.

3. Practice Self-Care

If you have been in a narcissistic relationship for quite some time, you're probably not used to being the center of attention. This makes it so important to practice self-care.

Surround yourself with close friends and family who love and care for you.

Go to the gym, work out, do yoga, meditate, and treat your body in a way that makes you feel good about yourself.

Spending some quality time by yourself practicing hobbies and pursuing personal goals, or even just grabbing a great book, putting on some music, and hopping into a bubble bath can have a positive effect on your self-esteem.

4. Break Up

Letting go of someone you love is extremely difficult to do. But sometimes it is in the best interest of your mental and physical health to ditch your toxic relationship for good.

In Conclusion

Your spouse may be attractive, rich, or have a great sense of humor, but no rush of excitement is worth staying in a toxic relationship for.

If your spouse has any of the qualities listed above and refuses to change, it's time to say goodbye. Don't waste your time with someone who doesn't love and appreciate you.

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Author Bio: Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.

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Relationships

These 5 Qualities Will Attract Toxic People To You

Attracting toxic people in your life isn't something we can always avoid.

Everyone knows the feeling of being around a toxic individual, but it's our human nature to ignore it for the sake of a friendship or even romantic entanglement.

When you do finally accept that the person around you is toxic, the reasons become obvious.

Although we can't always recognize a toxic person when we see one, we can recognize the invitations we provide those people through our behavior.

Check out these five shocking reasons you attract toxic people in your life. You'd never think these qualities would backfire when it comes to your personal relationships.

1. You're a Good Listener

Finding a good listener is hard to come by these days. Technology has made it easy to get distracted, and our attentions aren't always on the people around us.

If you're a good listener, you're going to attract all kinds of people, especially the most toxic.

Toxic people love to talk about themselves, and they will for hours if you let them. They don't need to hear your advice or take on a situation, they just want to hear it their way.

2. You Give Your Time Generously

In most scenarios, this a good thing, but know that it will attract toxic people into your life.

Toxic people want to be at the center of other peoples' lives, so if they know you're going to drop everything for them, they'll take advantage of you.

Over time, this kind of behavior will inevitably result in your resenting them for it, and it's going to start trouble. Establish boundaries in your relationships to avoid it.

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3. You're Open and Honest

Not many people are willing to take chances or major risks in life when it comes their goals. If you aren't one of these people, and you're honest about what you want to achieve in life, you will attract some toxic individuals.

Toxic people don't want to see others around them succeed, which means they'll be ready with a words of discouragement.

Making progress toward your goals will only force them increase their discouraging efforts.

4. You're Relaxed and Easygoing

This is a quality that will attract a lot of people to you, including toxic people. This is the exact opposite of a toxic person, and it's what they will naturally seek out.

If you're easygoing, they will automatically think you're someone who they can control or manipulate for their own selfish gains.

5. Your View of Humanity is Positive

You may be surrounded by people who are generally decent and positive, but this doesn't describe every human you'll come into contact with.

If you're view of humanity is positive, these means that you won't negatively judge a toxic person when they come into your life; it may even take a long time before you consider the possibility.

This type of thinking is the ideal invitation for toxic people to accept.

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