Not all scars are visible. Some hide deep inside, to the point where we might not even realize we have them till we suddenly feel their pain. We wonder why we are the way we are, unable to let ourselves be loved, or even unable to love in the capacity that we know we can. We realize that we're just protecting ourselves.
The way a mother loves their child will dictate the way that the child defines and understands love. This becomes their first contact with the concept and once they form it, whether it's good or bad, it can be really hard to change it as an adult. Here's how.
For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.
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The Controlling Mother
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For some mothers, it was impossible to accept that mother does not know best simply because she is a mother. Yet, she used this statement over and over again to assert her word. It was her way or the highway and this meant a series of endless rules, many of which were a reflection of her own insecurities.
She convinced herself that she was protecting you and acting out of love but instead she made you resent her for never saying yes, for never trusting you, for never giving you the opportunity to experience the world and learn for yourself. She even at times tried to control your feelings in her complete refusal to recognize you as an independent person. Rather she saw you as an extension of herself and used that to justify why you must always do as she asks.
The Narcissistic Mother
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This mother somehow always found a way to make everything about herself. When you cried, she complained that you were tiring her out. When you needed a ride, she made sure you understood how much of an inconvenience you were to her. Even when you excelled, she pointed out that it was actually all thanks to her and what she provided for you. She was too busy worrying about herself that she never really got to know you.
Ironically, everyone else thought she was the perfect mother because that's how she made it look on the outside. Your feelings were always dismissed because she made others envious of appearances. She cared more about how others saw you than how you did.
The Mother Who Used You As Her Only Means Of Happiness
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No child should bear the burden of being their mother's only source of joy and pride. It is too much pressure to have the person you depend on, depend on you for their own selfish needs. This mother made her whole world revolve around her kid. There was no such thing as boundaries. She constantly needed attention and smothered you with hers.
There were times the roles were reversed and she was the one needing you to mother her, forcing you to grow up long before you were due. She did not know how to let you go and got angry at you for not reciprocating her emotional needs. She drained you and distorted your definition of love.
The Impossible To Please Mother
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For this mother, nothing was good enough. No matter the achievement you proudly presented to her, it was downplayed and just expected. She saw how hard you worked but she never rewarded you for it. She thought that she was pushing you and that her tough love would motivate you to work even harder to really impress her but instead, you grew up thinking that you would never be good enough, not to her and not anyone.
Even when you tried to show her how much you love her, hoping she would show it back, she took it for granted and ignored your efforts. Children are programmed to need the approval of their mothers, and as an adult, you often still crave it simply because you never got it.
The Physically Present But Absent Minded Mother
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This mother was there all along, but she was never truly accessible. She was so caught up in her own world, maybe even her own pain that she failed to see how much you needed for her affection. She was emotionally distant making you feel like anything and everything was more of a priority than connecting with you. She often gave you fancy gifts as if they would make up for her lack of empathy.
As a child, you were confused, unable to understand your purpose in the world if your own mother could not give you the time of day. You might have even rebelled in an effort to get her attention, but it only drove her further away. Till this day you wonder how to be seen.
Are You Still Searching For Your Purpose
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Don't let the way your mother saw you, define you. After all she was just human.Who you are and you become is entirely up to you. In fact, it may be influenced by something much bigger than you. You won't believe what the science of Numerology can reveal about you.
The numerology of your birth date, regardless of what month you were born, can reveal surprising information about your personality. Unlock the messages hidden in your Personality Code now with your free personalized video report learn what Numerology says about your life using only your Birth Date.