Finding the right person to be with can be difficult. It’s often a long, drawn-out process that really only works through trial and error. This means that the only way to find out if it’s a mistake, is to go ahead and make it. It may not seem like the most logical option, but it is certainly effective.
The early weeks or months of a relationship can also be confusing. We’re basically buzzing from the happiness chemicals that our brains release at this time, high on the honeymoon phase, if you will.
Any relationship can get by on this phenomenon for a brief period, but eventually the infatuation will fade and if there isn’t more substantial connection there, things can go south quickly.
If you find yourself in a relationship and you notice these 6 things happening, you may need to accept that this just isn’t the right person for you, and move on.
1. You feel annoyance and resentment for them.
Partners have little fights and get bothered with each other sometimes in any relationship, but you’ve started to get exceedingly annoyed or frustrated with your partner for small things that never came up before.
When you find yourself getting angry or feeling resentful toward them for things they can’t even help, tiny personal habits or things entirely outside of their control, you need to consider that this relationship just isn’t going to work.
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2. You can’t have a conversation without placing blame.
It seems like every other conversation you have is more like a fight, and somehow you can’t stop trying to fault your partner for every little thing that ever goes wrong.
When they think about why the relationship isn’t working, all they see are your issues, and it’s exactly the same for you.
At this point it doesn’t even matter what you’re arguing about, it always turns into the both of you blaming the other.
3. You can’t find common ground anymore.
You know there must have been a time when you had things to talk about and hobbies that you could enjoy together, but somehow now you can’t remember what those things were.
Every time you try to suggest an activity or event to share, they seem uninterested, and nothing they want to do sounds enjoyable to you either.
Maybe you had strong chemistry or physical attraction at the beginning, but now it seems there’s nothing of substance between you.
4. You don’t feel like yourself.
You spend all your time and extra energy trying to figure out how to make your relationship work and mostly it feels like you’re doing it in vain.
You know you’re not really acting like yourself and you can’t figure out if it’s because you’re so tense and unhappy or if you’ve changed into someone you don’t know while trying to please another person.
A good relationship helps you comfortably grow into the person you’re supposed to be, not just into somebody you don’t recognize.
5. You can’t help but think of being with someone else.
You might not be trying to fantasize about other people, but the thought seems to come up out of nowhere when you’re zoned out or even in your dreams while you sleep.
Even if you aren’t actually cheating on your partner with anyone in reality, constantly toying with the idea in your head is a clear sign that you don’t want to be with this person anymore.
You probably can’t help yourself, it’s just your brain’s way of coping with the unhappiness.
6. You’ve given up.
The true kiss of death for any relationship isn’t hatred or vehement emotion, it’s indifference.
If you still feel pain or anger or sadness at the thought of your relationship ending, you may still have a fighting chance, but if ending things doesn’t make you feel anything at all, you can pack it in.
Pure apathy toward your partner/relationship denotes a lack of even the slightest attachment. If this is how you’re feeling, the kindest thing you can do is end it before you waste another hour of your time or theirs.
You both deserve a chance at being with the right person, and you’re not getting that by staying together.
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Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives