Single Dad Adopts Six Disabled Children And Reminds Us That A Parent Is “So Much More Than Biology”
They say that there is no love like a parent’s. This is the kind of love that is most unconditional and selfless. What we forget to mention is that this kind of love isn’t reserved to only those who share biological ties with their parents, but to adopted children with loving parents as well.
This was recently shown by a selfless single man who adopted his sixth child after devoting his life to helping children in need. He adopted his first child when he was just 21 years old, showing that you’re never too young to showcase your capacity for love and kindness.
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A Calling From A Young Age
Ben was only 21 years old when he began his journey as a father. At the time, he felt a calling to adopt a young boy named Jack, who struggled with autism. This didn’t scare Ben away, but he instead embraced it and felt the need to help the little boy.
From then Ben would go to adopt five more children with a disability and he wouldn’t even stop there. Ben is willing to welcome more children into his home as long as he can support them and give that the attention that they require and deserve.
Always Wanted To Be A Dad
Today, Ben is a 37-year-old single gay dad from the UK. He doesn’t have a partner who can take off some of the responsibilities and give him a minute to rest. Yet Ben isn’t discoured or complaining. In fact, he says that he always knew he wanted to raise a big family:
“I’ve always known what I wanted. I never wanted to become a biological dad because being a parent is so much more than that,” Ben told Mirror. “I wanted to help kids that were the most vulnerable and the ones that were most in need of a loving and caring home.”
The Adoption Process
As can be expected, the adoption process is demanding and lengthy, especially for someone so young and at the start of their adult life. Ben explains: “I had a lot to prove at such a young age. I needed to show that I was mature enough and could offer these kids what they needed. The good thing about adoption that you can’t do in pregnancy is picking the gender of the child.”
So Ben started by welcoming Jack to his family: “To begin with I chose a boy and then a girl because I thought that would be the perfect set up and luckily got accepted and matched with my son and daughter, Jack and Ruby,” Ben recalled. “I was then asked if I would take my biological daughter’s sister, which I agreed to do.”
One Kid Turns To Five
Jack grew up to now be 14 years of age! His sister Ruby is now 11 with a complex disability, while her sister, Lilly, is 9 years old and profoundly deaf. Despite the obstacles the children face, Ben loved his children and wanted to keep expanding: “So I had two girls and one boy and I thought I should even it out again and adopt another son,…So I applied for a boy with Down Syndrome and within three days I was matched to a baby boy who had just been born with the condition.”
Just like that, the family was quickly growing. Soon Be added two more boys: Joseph, who has Down’s Syndrome but is now a happy 6-year-old old, and Teddy, who was his fifth child. Ben was happy: “I then had my five kids, and I was so happy. They were all doing amazing,” Ben said.
Unfortunately, tragedy came knocking and took one of the children away. Teddy passed away in 2019 due to sepsis and left Ben grieving and wishing he could have done something to prevent his son’s fate: “I was devastated, and I felt guilty for a while because I kept wondering if there was something I could have done to fix it,” Ben shared.
Ben took the time to give the loss of Teddy but knew that he had four children to still take care of and possibly more on the way. In fact, Ben’s attention shifted to another young boy named Louis, who also needed his help. He explains: “before Teddy passed away, I had been contacted to see if I would consider another child. It was a little boy with server brain issues…I had said yes, but when Teddy passed, I needed to put the process on hold to allow myself to grieve.”
After Grief, Comes Hope
Once Ben took the time to heal, he brought Louis to the family: “He is a wonderful little boy with a wicked personality, and I’m extremely proud to call my son.” Just like that, the family had grown once again, and Ben now still considers himself a father of six, even if he had to lose one of them along the way.
Ben speaks of his children fondly, and his love for them is evident: “I love all my children with all my heart, and I love seeing them achieve and thrive. It is the most wonderful feeling as a parent, especially knowing that their futures were bleak,” he said.
The Power Of Love
Looking back on his decisions, Ben has no regrets and is grateful to have lived life by sharing as much love and kindness as much as he possibly could because, at the end of the day, he realizes the impact that we all have on one another: “as much as I have changed their life, they have also changed mine. And I would never say never to having another child.”
As for his children, they love him just as much. Yong Jack likes to say: “Daddy is the best daddy in the world.”
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Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives