When we're young, our friendships take a more central role. They shape our identity, fulfill our free time, help us learn social skills, and form meaningful connections. However, as we get older, it becomes harder to nurture those friendships because we get busy with our jobs, and raising kids takes priority, etc.
Now imagine that didn't have to be the case. Sometimes marriages don't work out, and the whole life plan we had set falls apart. At that point, we have two options. We can dwell and let this obstacle dictate the tone of the rest of our lives. Or we can use it as an opportunity to go back to who we were before we got swept up in all these arrangements, and back to the friends who were there for us when it all started.
That's exactly what these two besties did.
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Started With Heartbreak
Samantha Best was only 24 and becoming a social media influencer when she split up with her partner and was left to be a single mom to Kaelin, her 4-year-old. Her best friend, Lauren Robinson, 26, also happened to share the same experience with her 5-year-old daughter Haidyn. As expected, this was a difficult time for both of them. Breakups are never easy, but they're even harder when children are involved.
The single moms struggled to make ends meet and give their children the lives they hoped for. So instead of fighting on their own, they decided to unite forces. They moved in together stating: "Lauren and I are inseparable. We moved into a house together in May this year after I decided to move back to Auckland for better work opportunities," Samantha said.
It Helps With Finances
The couple knew that moving in together to raise their families as a platonic unit was unconventional. But at the end of the day, they were best friends, and their role as mothers shouldn't prevent them from being roommates and supporting one another. This arrangement gave them all the perks of married life without the romance and all the stress.
Samantha explains: "I struggled before I moved in with Lauren. It was hard for myself and Kaelin to live on our own and live comfortably," she added. "Auckland is very expensive, and I was quite lonely and scared."
The situation was a win-win on multiple levels, but one of the biggest reliefs was how it helped both of them financially as single mothers. Not only were they able to split the rent, but also shared a home bank account that they both contributed to for bills and groceries.
Finances aren't the only perk shared by these mothers and besties. They trust each other fully with their children as well. They never have to worry about working later or wanting a night break because they can take turns looking after each other's children:
"It's so much easier living with Lauren. We've been able to split our finances, and we are able to help each other with childcare if one of us is busy, the other can pick them both up from school, or if either of us need to go out the other can watch the two children." She added: "We always know we will have a babysitter if needed as well, it’s great."
Best Friends For Life
Friends are not only for the good times but for the hardships as well. These besties are able to get through their breakups together, relying on each other emotionally, financially, and with physical responsibilities. But on top of all that, they can just have fun together like they once did.
"Lauren and I are inseparable" explains Samantha. Their life together is like one long sleepover where neither one ever has to go home. They get to live out the full extent of their friendship on a daily basis". "I live with my best friend, and we have so much fun together. We have wine nights together watching Love Island together, who wouldn't want to live with their best friend," says Samantha.
Plus Each Child Gets To Have A Sibling
When it comes to the children, it seems like Lauren and Samantha's kids are becoming best friends of their own. Both being only children to their parents, they now get to experience what it is like to have a sibling. While the adults watch Love island, the kids who are only a year apart in age, get to hang out and have play dates.
Just like siblings the kids fight but love each other: "The kids keep themselves company together, but they are now like siblings – so they do bicker and that can be challenging, but that’s really it and it’s expected."
Not Everyone Supports Their Decision
It is becoming more common than you would think for single moms to move in together. As rent prices sore and divorces become more common, people have been getting creative in finding solutions. Rather than suffer alone, some of them come together and find resources in one another. The whole notion of family is changing because of it. Friends who raise their kids together as a single-family unit are becoming known as "platonic life partners."
Not everyone agrees with this new idea of family. “We've got some unpleasant comments, but the majority are supportive saying how much of a great idea this is,” Samantha said.
Their Relationships Is Always Questioned
What is the true meaning of friendship if not our chosen family? We don't get to choose the home we are born into or the hardships that we encounter. However, we get to choose who we surround ourselves with and who we can go to in times of trouble. True friends feel like family and love us unconditionally just as much at our best as at our worst.
"People always think we're together in a relationship, it’s always questioned, but we definitely aren’t," says Samantha. Relationships aren't that black and white.
That's What Friends Are For
This arrangement isn't meant to be permanent. Still, for now, the focus for these young mothers isn't dating again but rather raising their children and finding healing again: "Everything is new when you're fresh out of a breakup so we're taking time to work on ourselves and then we'll eventually get back on the dating scene," says Samantha “You know how they say when you're not looking, someone will come along.”
While they support each other through this journey they hope that by sharing their story they also help other single moms: "I hope I can inspire other people to do this and live with their friend if they are both single parents. It would help to give single mums a better life," said Samantha.
Relationships Take Many Forms
Relationships take many forms, and whether they are formed with family, friends or life partners, they should always make us feel fulfilled.
In any relationship, always look at how you feel and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them?
Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it's much more than that. If you want to know more on what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on date of birth.