When you’re in the wrong relationship you’ll say and do such silly things without realizing it. It’s not until you’re out of it and you look back that you can’t help but wonder: “what was I thinking?” Unfortunately, not everyone makes it out and many start justifying this kind of behavior until they normalize it. They end up staying in all the wrong relationships and forget what feels like to even be in a truly happy, healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Rather than fall into that trap, here’s how to tell the difference.
For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.
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Communication Goes Out The Window
When you’re in the wrong relationship it doesn’t matter what you say or do, as it can pretty much feel like you’re speaking different languages. There’s a reason. Often you may both be right in your own way and both have good intentions but if your communication styles and needs, are not compatible or understood by each other then you might as well be speaking to a wall.
There are different communication styles such as passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, assertive, indirect etc. While some are healthier than others, sometimes they’re rooted in such a deep place that they need to be addressed individually first before a meaningful relationship with anyone can be had.
There’s A Winner And A Loser
When you’re facing an issue with a partner you’re supposed to face it together as a team. You’re not supposed to feel like you’re fighting each other to solve it. When one of you or both are trying to prove themselves to be right, the issues pile up and priorities shift.
Even in arguments, there is supposed to be equal give and take, accountability, apologies, and empathy. It’s never about “winning” an argument. Unless you’re attempting to overcome the problem together, you’re in the wrong relationship.
Jokes Are At Someone’s Expense
Jokes are supposed to be funny not only to the person making them but to the one they are being told to as well. When jokes are masking underlying issues or made passive aggressively, they are no longer funny. Jokes that critique, poke fun, or allude to a problem are actually hurtful.
Maybe they’re not doing it on purpose but it’s still a form of projection that shows that there’s a bigger issue at hand that is not being addressed productively.
Everything Is A Fight
Yes everyone fights, but not everyone fights every single day, let alone multiple times a day. When everything somehow turns into an argument, even with pure intention, toxic behavior develops. The power dynamic shifts. One person will condition themselves to hold their tongue out of fear of confrontation while the other person will develop a temper out of growing frustration.
This will lead to a draining, toxic relationship built on fragile grounds. Learning how to remain calm, and patient with each other is the key to any relationship that survives.
Gossiping About Each Other
There is a difference between venting and seeking advice from loved ones and gossiping to tarnish each other’s image. If you’re making people pick sides, and just wanting to trash talk to each other, then you’re definitely in the wrong relationship.
Keep in mind that your partner is supposed to be a reflection or extension of yourself. By making them look bad, and making unfair assumptions or accusations, you’re kind of dragging yourself down. Plus, you should be able to trust each other to protect one another. If you can’t even talk well of each other then how are you going well to talk to each other?
Compairaisons And Blackmail
Two people who love each other, accept each other for the good ad the bad. If you constantly compare your partner to others, telling them you wish they looked more like someone else or did better, then you will inevitably break down their self-esteem
The same thing applies to blackmail. If they trusted you enough to share their vulnerabilities, insecurities, and worst fears, you should never be using them against them or making them feel bad for it.
The Highs Are But The Lows Are Low
Beware of any relationship where the highs are extremely high, because usually the lows were also very low and the cycle will quickly become toxic. A healthy relationship is more stable and balanced. There are some highs and lows still, but they’re on opposite ends of the spectrum.
In any relationship, always look at how you feel and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them?
Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it’s much more than that. If you want to know more on what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on date of birth.
Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives