8 Telltale Signs That You’re In Relationship With A Narcissist

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The word “narcissist” is thrown around a lot these days, and for good reason. Dating a narcissist can be mentally exhausting, but you may have no idea until it’s too late. It’s important to recognize the warning signs of narcissism so you can identify them in your relationship if needed. Here are 8 signs you’re with a narcissist:

1. They can’t display empathy

man's profile with woman blurred in the background
Efezi / Getty Images Signature Via Canva Pro
Efezi / Getty Images Signature Via Canva Pro

They don’t express real sympathy or empathy. They don’t really care if someone is having a bad day or if their grandma just died. It’s part of life and if it doesn’t directly affect them, they don’t care.

Their lack of empathy can be expressed in a wide range of ways, from being insensitive to you if you’re having a rough day to being a jerk to the guy at the post office who was moving a little slower than normal.

While most people could think, “maybe they’re having a rough day,” or, “you never know what someone is going through,” a narcissist doesn’t care either way and doesn’t have time to feel for someone else – they’re too busy being important.

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2. They make all of the decisions

Whose deciding where you eat tonight? What about what vacation spot you’re going to? Who makes the call on where to move and for whose career ?

Healthy relationships make decisions together, as partners. But with a narcissist, they get to call all the shots. They make every decision with only one person in mind: themselves.

And if you try and question them? You’re a terrible person and they’ll make sure you know it.

3. They’re not nice

They’re not nice, and maybe even kind of mean. They don’t empathize, they don’t think of your feelings, they don’t take others into consideration at all, and they can be downright rude because of it.

They may be rude to the waiter at the restaurant, the cars around them while driving (they have awful road rage), their coworker who didn’t do something exactly right, or to you.

They may put you down in subtle or not so subtle ways, especially if it builds them up in the process.

For example, they might say something mean about you and compliment themselves on the same thing in the process.

4. They get upset over little things

They struggle with emotional management and emotional maturity. They get triggered by the smallest things and allow minuscule details to upset them.

If something is just slightly off, their whole mood could explode.

You constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them, hoping not to do or say something upsetting on accident.

5. They don’t respect boundaries

They allow you zero privacy. Zero.

Your phone? Theirs for the taking. Your private conversations? Theirs for the reading. Your diary? Don’t even bother putting it away.

They don’t respect your boundaries at all and allow you no privacy.

If you try and express your discomfort with their overstepping of boundaries, they’ll definitely try to pin you as the “bad” guy. If you get upset that they took your phone and went through it, they’ll try and turn it back on you saying if you had nothing to hide, it wouldn’t matter.

Healthy relationships do have boundaries, privacy, and respect. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

6. They think they’re “special”

They have a sense of self-importance and desire (or even require) constant praise and admiration. They may truly believe they were born “special” or cut out of a different cloth than others.

They act and think like they’re better than others and above others, including yourself. They expect to be recognized as special and get upset if you try and bring them down to the real world or sing the praises of anyone else.

7. They’re deeply materialistic

They dream of money, cars, fame, and fortune. They want to “make it” someday with riches and fame.

They gauge their success and the success of those around them on material wealth alone. They even base happiness and worth on material possessions.

Their borderline obsession with materialism trumps all other aspects of life. They may not even believe that happiness can be achieved without money and expensive “stuff.”

8. They don’t allow you (or others) to talk

They dominate conversations and allow little room for feedback or opinions. Even if they’re joining in someone else’s conversation, they have to take it over and speak loudly, even talking over other people.

They definitely don’t listen when you have something to say, but instead make sure they have something of greater importance to say. If you try and tell them about your day or have a conversation, they’ll shift the conversation to focus on them and not allow you room to talk.

They value their own voice and thoughts over everyone else’s, so it comes as no surprise that they don’t enjoy listening to others or having two-way conversations.

What to do if you’re dating a narcissist?

Narcissists are unlikely to want treatment, but if they’re willing to try, psychotherapy may be helpful in getting their personality disorder under control.

However, getting them help shouldn’t be a burden that falls on you, especially if they’re unwilling. Do seek professional help if you’re concerned for their wellbeing.

Be proactive about your wellbeing as well and decide if you’d like to continue in an unhealthy relationship any longer or if you’d rather move on and find that soulmate connection with someone else.

For more expert relationship advice and tips on how to make a long lasting relationship, watch this video: Click Here To Watch The Full Video

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Higher Perspectives Author

Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives