The 3 Intuitive Signs It’s Worth It to Save a Failing Relationship

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It can be hard to save a failing relationship, and a lot of time it’s not worth the effort. Saving a failing relationship requires work from both parties, commitment, and most importantly a good reason. That means that to stay together, there has to be a point and love itself is not enough.

You don’t need to push through a hard time just for the sake of it. Unlike the popular saying, not all relationships have their ups and downs especially when the downs are really low. Here is how to tell the difference and when to use your intuition to know when to save the relationship.

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A Failing Relationship Damages Self

Being in a failing relationship doesn’t mean that either one of you is a bad person or has toxic behavior. However, a failing relationship means that there is some kind of obstacle that is preventing you from making each other feel good.

woman looking in the mirror she's holdig
Elisa Photography / Unspalsh
Elisa Photography / Unspalsh

The longer it goes on the more it takes a toll on both of you. Arguments drain your energy, conflicts make you feel misunderstood, and unheard, and unresolved issues make you question your own state and values. You start shutting down, as you lose hope in trying. You avoid talking out of fear of arguing and get stuck in a cycle of ups and down that is confusing.

Is there any hope of saving the relationship at this point and is it worth it? Well, it depends.

The Anger Is A Projection

Anger is one of the most fascinating feelings because it’s often a mask. When we feel overwhelmed, confused, sad, or stressed, it manifests itself as irritation and frustration. This is important to know because it means that when you get angry at each other in a relationship and have arguments that aren’t leading anywhere, it’s because there is a deeper issue at the root of the anger. If you can uncover you’ll find that by working on that instead, the anger will also fade.

The face of anger with green eye
Peter Forster / Unsplash
Peter Forster / Unsplash

Anger often is the result of a lack of proper emotional connection. In fact, experts at the Gottman Institute explain that, while anger is a primary emotion, it can also be a secondary emotion.

That means that it is often a protective emotion that hides more painful emotions behind it. If you manage to bring them to the surface, you might just have a chance at saving the relationship.

There Is No Desire For Anyone Else

Often in a failing relationship, the eyes and mind wonder You start thinking about what life would be like without each other, or with someone else. You might even be tempted to act on these thoughts. However, if you’re both certain sure that you only want to be with each other no matter the hard times, then you might have what it takes to save the relationship.

Couple stands under umbrella in the street
Clay Banks / Unsplash
Clay Banks / Unsplash

Saving a relationship requires resilience that can’t be achieved if even one of you is mentally checked out. With full commitment, it will be easier to trust each other and in the relationship.

You’re Both Open To Growth

It’s easy for people in a failing relationship to blame each other. It’s much easier to see the flaws in what the other person is doing and to put the full responsibility of saving the relationship on them. But that won’t work. You must be both willing to grow individually while keeping communication channels open.

hand reaching for light in the trees in forest
Aaron Blanco Tejedo / Unsplash
Aaron Blanco Tejedo / Unsplash

For a relationship to grow, you also need to grow. This allows you to learn how to be patient, recognize your needs, control your emotions and follow your hobbies and ambitions without resenting each other. Sometimes that also means taking a break from each other to find yourselves again before reuniting.

A relationship is two people coming together, both of which need to first be happy and whole.

Do You Share The Same Vision For The Future?

Working towards a common goal will keep you aligned and focused on the bigger picture. Ask yourself if you share the same vision for the future because even if this doesn’t seem like an issue yet, it’s bound to be. Make sure you’re on the same page about where you want to live, your lifestyle, the number of children you want to have, how you celebrate holidays, finances, religion, political views, values, and life goals.

Couple cuddle in bed
Toa Heftiba / Unsplash
Toa Heftiba / Unsplash

There are some things that you can’t compromise on without one person giving more than they’re taking. The more you’re aligned, the more it’s worth saving the relationship because finding like-minded people who will keep your eye on the prize and support you is rare.

Do You Forgive Each Other

There is no point in saving a relationship if you’re going to hold a grudge against each other. When the time comes to put your issues aside, work through them, and save the relationship be honest if you truly forgive each other for getting to the stage in the first place.

couple hugs under blue sky
Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash
Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash

If you think forgiveness will eventually come, you’ll only keep yourself stuck in the same cycle. Forgiving doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting, but it means releasing all negative feelings associated, leaving the space for a second chance.

Know Where To Draw The Line

In any relationship, always look at how you feel and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them?

man running through path in a forest
Andrew Teoh / Unsplash
Andrew Teoh / Unsplash

Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it’s much more than that. If you want to know more on what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on date of birth.

For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.

Aria Misty

Aria Misty is a recent university grad. She did her undergrad in media, information & technoculture with a Master in Journalism & Communications in 2018.

Aria has a particular interest in all things astrology and spirituality. This is driven by her desire to create healing. In fact, Aria went back to school for A master’s in counseling p[…]