If only relationships were black and white, life would be a lot easier. Unfortunately being in love is not enough to make it work. It might make for a solid foundation, but it won’t necessarily lead to a happy marriage.
Fortuntaley, some of us are making it work and they’re enlightening the rest of us on their secret. Twitter user Ryan Stephen has made a discovery that led him and his wife to follow six rules to stay happy in their marriage. There’s a reason his tweet has gained over 40,000 likes later. Find out why it went viral.
Soulmates Ruin Relationships
This might sound counterintuitive but maybe we need to let go of the idea of “soulmates,” or maybe we at least need to reframe how we look at them. When we think of soulmates we tend to think of natural relationships that flow easily and run deep.
However, even soulmate relationships require hard work. Instead, writer Ryan Stephens suggests that people in relationships are “teammates” and not “soulmates” who should follow six specific rules.
So Does Gossip
We get it, you need to vent about your spouse every once in a while. Let’s be honest any two people who are stuck under one roof for too long will drive each other crazy sometimes.
However these two people also have two options. They can either vent to others, fuelling their frustration and not solving anything. Or, they can take it up directly with their partner and find a resolution together through open and honest communication.
You Are Not A Mind Reader
You may be so in-tune with your empathy that you’ve basically developed a psychic ability. Yet the odds of both of you always being in tune with each other’s exact thoughts and feelings is rare. Instead, to grow the relationship you need to grow together.
That means staying away from assumptions and asking questions. It also means providing support and asking where best to provide it. It means triple-checking to make sure each other’s needs are being met.
Make An Adventure Out Of Life
Going on adventures together doesn’t mean you need to go skydiving every weekend. It simply means finding new ways to reignite your bond and keep the excitement alive.
This can be as simple as trying a new spice or recipe or going for a walk in a new part of town. It’s all about giving each other the chance to learn together to keep on growing as a team.
Celebrate Each Other
To be able to appreciate the big things in life, the small things need to be celebrated. Find any and every excuse to celebrate. This is a way to keep your vibrations high and matching not only each other, but the universe as well.
It opens up you up as a couple to receive rather than have one partner resent the other. When only one partner puts in this kind of effort, they tend to be the one that keeps on growing.
Love is not a competition. It doesn’t matter who took the garbage out six times in a row and who is the one who always puts the kids to bed. You will realize that you each have your strengths and preferences. Find ways to divide up efforts so it aligns with that.
This isn’t meant to then be used as blackmail for who does most in the relationship.
Trust And Respected
Trust and respect shouldn’t just go away when a couple is comfortable. It shouldn’t be assumed that it will forever be deserved. Trust and respect should be both be given freely to someone we love and earned for ourselves.
That means that it shouldn’t just go away when you’re upset at each other or diminished when someone makes a mistake.
Love Is Not Enough
The biggest takeaway from Stephen’s message is that love is not absolute. Love is limited. Love is a foundation but it’s not the making of a relationship. Love is the reason we put in the effort, love is the motivation in making a relationship work, and love is the reason we fail and try again.
But we shouldn’t simply depend on love. We shouldn’t stop trying and assume that marriage means eternal love.
Stephen Is Not The Only
No one likes to admit that there are days that they just can’t stand their spouse but it happens. Just because you don’t like each other some days, doesn’t mean that you don’t love each other.
Growth is awareness and effort. So, grow together, as a team. Wake up every day and chose each other all over again.
Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives