It’s hard to pinpoint our exact regrets as we go through life because they’re constantly changing. We regret decisions in the moment but we move on and eventually, they don’t seem like a big deal. But, over time, some regrets accumulate and mold into one big regret. Unfortunately, by the time we realize what it is that we value most and wish we had done differently, it’s a little too late. The good news is, if you’re reading this, you’re likely alive and well. That means that you still have an opportunity to do something about your regrets so by the time that you’re on your deathbed, you have none.
Pay attention to these biggest deathbed regerts, shared by people in their final days. They were recorded by Shannon L. Alder an author and therapist, known for her tidbits of wisdom that have been published in over 100 different books.
Living True To The Self
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life other people expected of me.”
From a very young age, we become conditioned to live to please and look good in the eyes of others. We prioritize the value of how others see us, over the way we see ourselves. We work tirelessly to make relationships work, to get promotions at work, to be seen, appreciated, and valued by strangers. We have created social networks that carry the sole purpose of seeing, and being seen. However, we end up setting unrealistic expectations and working towards unachievable standards.
We never feel good enough or stop to appreciate who we are and how far we’ve come. We never truly feel fulfilled or take the risks necessary to reach our highest selves, without worrying about how it affects everyone else, or what everyone will think of it. Sadly, at the end of the day, only we are responsible for our own happiness and achievements so what others think really doesn’t matter.
Taking The Time To Watch Children Grow
“I wish I took time to be with my children more when they were growing up.”
Circumstantially, many parents struggle to juggle their responsibilities on top of their role to their children. They convince themselves that by working overtime, even missing their children’s events is ultimately for their own good. But really no amount of extra money earned will ever measure up to the priceless moments we could have spent with our children.
In the blink of an eye, they go from children to adults and stop needing us. They get used to our absence. They never learn the value of family time because we didn’t take the time to instill it in them. As parents, everything we do while our children grow up has the power to impact the people they become.
Revealing Feelings Without Fear
“I wish I had the courage to express my feelings, without the fear of being rejected or unpopular.”
The fear of rejection truly holds up back from going after our heart’s desires. We get caught up in all the worst-case scenarios that we fail to take the risk and possibility live the best-case scenarios. But, isn’t better to take a risk and at least find out how it plays out, then always wonder about what could have happened?
The person you ask out could reject you or could be the love of your life. The promotion you ask for could be dismissed or could be your next big break. The book you’ve always wanted to write could be laughed at or could be the next bestseller…You’ll never know until you try.
Staying Connected With Loved Ones
“I wish I would have stayed in touch with friends and family.”
People come in and out of your life for a reason but some people are meant to stay alongside you for most of the journey if enough effort is put in to maintain and nurture those bonds. It’s easy for us to get so caught up in our lives that we stop taking the time to reach out. Yet relationships are just like muscles, they need to be worked out, cared for, and nurtured.
Even the strongest bonds need to be valued. Telling someone you love that you’re thinking of them can go a long way. It’s an equal give and take. H uman beings are wired to crave connections with another.
Surrendered To Forgivness
“I wish I would have forgiven someone when I had the chance.”
Holding grudges is exhausting. It keeps us trapped in a cycle of resentment and frustration. It often leads us to blame and holds us back from growth. With forgiveness, on the other hand, there is freedom. We finally let go of what no longer serves us and open ourselves up to moving forward.
Forgiveness is not only for the person being forgiven but for the person offering forgiveness. It releases both parties and frees up space within them to receive new and positive beginnings. Everyone makes mistakes, we’re only human, and anyone that says otherwise isn’t looking at the big picture.
Expressed To People How Valuable They Are
“I wish I would have told the people I loved the most how important they are to me.”
It’s incredible how much of an impact we have the power to make on one another. Think of the butterfly effect, where every little action, as small as a butterfly flapping its wings, can have enough of a reaction that could trigger a tsunami across the world.
Little gestures, as small as smiling at a stranger, holding the door open, or even just saying thank you can make or break someone’s day. These gestures have even more of an impact when shared between loved ones. Let the people know around you know how much you value them, how special they are, and how big of a role they play in this world while you still can.
Tapped Into Confidence Instead Of Fear
“I wish I would have had more confidence and tried more things, instead of being afraid of looking like a fool.”
Life is all about risk. If you think about it, we’re constantly living in the unknown. We have no idea what tomorrow brings We barely have control over what the next moment looks like. So much of what creates our experience is dependent on circumstances and other people.
So, at the very least, why don’t we take as much control as we can over the parts that are up to us? We make all kinds of excuses for why we can’t make that move, get out of a relationship or try a new career instead of actually finding out what our lives could look like. We are ultimately the sole creator of our story, so the least we could do is put more effort and take risks to write our narrative.
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Leaving A Mark On The World
“I wish I would have done more to make an impact in this world.”
You would be surprised at how easy it is to make an impact in this world. All it takes is making an impact on one single person, who in turn will do it for another and before you know we all touch each other’s lives, one way or another. To make a difference, you don’t have to single-handedly change the world. But, you can start small. Help where you can, don’t put it off because you’re too tired or it’s not the right time. When you see an opportunity take it, instead of leaving it for the next person.
Don’t get caught up in an unmeaningful life. Every day is a new chance to make a difference, somewhere, somehow.
Pursuing Talents And Passions
“I wish I would have pursued my talents and gifts.”
The good news is no matter how much regret you may feel near the end of your life, at the very last moment, none of it will matter anymore:
Taken Risks Instead Of Remaining Comfortable
“I wish I would have experienced more, instead of settling for a boring life filled with routine, mediocrity, and apathy.”
Let this be your reminder to live every day fully while you can, to write off any regrets, and to take risks and watch them pay off. But, at the end of the day, appreciate what you have done, how far you’ve come, and the incredible person that you are,
“In my experience though, despite their regrets, many of the dying seem to get a look in their eyes right at the very end, when I think they are finally realizing the futility of struggle and surrendering to what Is. Knowing there is nothing left to do. For a moment you know they have transcended the mind and are free.” – receding / Reddit
Are You Living While You’re Alive?
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That’s right, the numerology of your birth date, can help you discover detailed information about who you truly are and what is hiding in your subconscious. You won’t believe how accurate it is
Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives