Obviously being in a relationship has its perks. It's nice to come home to someone, make dinner together and cuddle up as you talk about your day. It's nice to have another person's affection and support as you achieve your goals. But rarely does it ever actually go that way.
Relationships are full of obstacles, with modern times being worst than ever when it comes to dating. From commitment issues, controlling manipulators and narcissists, messy people and the everyday stressors of life, relationships are sometimes just another chore and source of stress. That's why for these women, it's not something they feel is meant for them, and they're glad. Many women share their stance and here's why.
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No Need For Permission Or Compromise
In relationships, there should be a healthy balance between doing things together and still having two separate fulfilling lives. However, it's easy to get caught up in co-dependant relationships where boundaries are blurred, and you feel like you have to ask permission.
This woman loves that by being single, she never has to fear being told "no" when she wants to do what she wants: “I can do whatever I want, whenever I want,” she writes. Plus without having to share financial responsibility and her time, she can prioritize them however she wants: “If I want to stay up late, I can, if I want to buy something, I can; and if I want to watch a movie, I can.
Furthermore, if I feel like listening to music, I can, and if I feel like reorganizing or redecorating my apartment, I can. I can choose how I use my time, I can choose how I spend my money, and I can choose how I save my money. Do I feel lonely? I'll admit it, sometimes I do. But I have good friends. If I feel like hanging out with my friends, if someone wants to hang out with me, I can. If I don’t feel like going out, I can stay home" - photon3on / Reddit
Full Control And Independence
This woman has been single for 10 years, and she is appreciative of the freedom her singlehood has provided her. Women often find themselves trapped of no fault of their own in relationships where their partner increasingly asserts their opinion. They sometimes manipulate themselves into a position of power that gives them control.
"For the past ten years, I've been single. All of my money belongs to me. I have complete control of my time. My entire focus is directed in the direction I want. I simply try to find happiness in my life." - Nope_Nope_Nope_0 / Reddit says:
Less Disappointment And Self-Doubt
Another woman explains the way singlehood allows her to preserve her confidence as she wants to feel appreciated: "I’d rather be single than be with someone who doesn’t appreciate my love and affection," says sinderella666x0x/ Reddit
You can be the most confident woman in the world, but the repetition of someone under appreciating you would naturally cause you to question your worth. Your value has to be protected against the entitlement of partners who take advantage of your generosity. It's better to be single and sometimes lonely than in a relationship where your efforts are assumed or critiqued without being reciprocated.
There is freedom in being single because every choice you make is entirely up to you. You don't have to worry about how it impacts another life, so if you just wanted to pack up and move, there is no reason you couldn't. This plays out in both the small decisions like what to have for dinner and the big life-changing decisions like what country to live in:
"I get to do what I like and don't have to argue over what we’re all in the mood for, or who gets to choose, or 'I don’t like horror movies, let’s watch a rom-com!' Do you want to grab a bite to eat? I get what sounds good to me and don’t waste an hour debating what sounds good to you but not to me, then me but not you. We agree on something none of us particularly likes but that we can both live with when all I want is sushi.
Want to sleep until noon on my day off, then get up and spend the afternoon playing video games? Nobody can bully me for it or argue that I’m not paying attention to them because it’s my decision. I’m having a bad day and don’t feel like speaking or expressing myself? Since we’re dating, I don’t have to speak to someone or feel obligated to 'open up' to them.” -DomLite / Reddit
Zero Effort Required
A woman was grateful to be single life because it meant that she had to put no effort into her appearance: "I don't have to worry about what I look like or what I’m wearing while I’m just chilling on my days off. Hair up in a messy bun, no makeup, no pants, no problem" not-a-real_username / Reddit
In an ideal relationship what you look like shouldn't matter anyway. However, in the early stages of dating, there seems to be an unspoken expectation to look your best and dress up which can be expensive and draining, especially if none of the first dates pan out to second dates.
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Peace Of Mind At Home
One woman was most grateful for the peace that came with going to an empty home every single day: "I never want to turn the key in the door and have to worry about what is going [on] on the other side again," said UnfeelingSelfishGirl / Reddit
“I don't want to have to manage another’s emotions or walk on eggshells. So, now I love the peace that my space is mine alone. I also hate the obligations that tend to come with relationships.”
In a healthy relationship, you shouldn't feel like your partner's behaviour is unpredictable or that their temper is easily set off. However, that kind of reaction happens gradually, and many women find themselves walking on eggshells around partners who once seemed patient and stable. Even when they finally walk away, this can make it hard to trust again and make them feel defensive.
A Clean Space
It's incredible how much of a difference a clean and tidy space can have on the overall mood. We're not saying that all men are messy, but there is something special about being able to create a space that is ultimately a reflection of your style, that only holds your things and that feels safe and comforting exactly to your liking:
"My apartment is clean and neat and most importantly, 95% empty," said TheCrimsonChariot / Reddit. Even Psychologists correlate cleanliness with mental ease.
Singlehood Is Not For Everyone
There is no right or wrong when it comes to relationship choices. After all, it's a simple human longing to crave a partner and to want love and affection. However, a lot of the time negative experiences make us guarded. Women who go through bad relationships and then do the work to heal, often find that their lives are much more peaceful and fulfilling once they're on their own so it can be hard to give that up.
In any relationship, always look at how you feel and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them?
Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it's much more than that. If you want to know more on what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on your date of birth.
For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.