Relationships
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The Main Reason People Struggle In Relationships Explained

While no relationship is exactly the same, too often the way we attach ourselves to our partners says everything we need to know about why the relationship failed. Before you start blaming yourself, this attachment has a lot to do with your upbringing.

Attachment theory might be able to explain why people really struggle in relationships. Let's figure out what it means, and what your style would be.

It's All In Attachement Theory

A lot of our beliefs as adults are shaped while we are still children. We learn the most in the earliest stages of life from our parents. This is especially significant in romantic relationships.

We tend to project unto our romantic relationships the parental relationships we once formed, like an extension of those bonds. The way our parents interacted with us and showed love is often recreated by us as adults. However, for some, this could be detrimental. It all depends on which type of these four attachment styles you have.

Secure

If you are someone who attaches securely, then you are one of the lucky ones. One or both of your parents were very affectionate and in tune with your needs as a child. You recall mostly positive memories of your childhood and continue to have a good relationship with your parents. You tend to be trusting and reasonable.

On the other hand, you might be complacent in relationships because they're "good enough." You easily get comfortable even if the relationship is not completely up to your standard.

Avoidant

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As the name suggests, those with avoidant attachment tend to avoid expressing their feelings. This is due to having one or both parents be emotionally unavailable or insensitive during their childhood. These kids were often shut down and made to perceive emotion as weakness.

As adults they tend to be too accepting of their partners' flaws, to make up for the lack of acceptance they once felt. However, they tend to judge themselves the harshest and feel as though love needs to be "earned." They often feel like they may get rejected if they show how they really feel.

Anxious

woman wraps her hands arund man's neck

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If you've developed an anxious attachment, it's because your parents were inconsistent. There were times they made you feel loved and accepted and other times they were unavailable, overbearing, and insensitive. This child was always craving the nurturing side but anxious that one wrong move could flip the switch.

They tend to fear the unknown and have a hard time trusting. They never truly feel safe and end up acting out. They tend to be overly jealous, and overbearing in relationships as they overanalyze and make assumptions in an attempt to mind read their partners.

Disorganized

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This attachment theory was developed by children that were living in fight or flight mode. They formed disorganized attachments out of fear because their parents create unsafe homes and frightening relationships. These children wanted to escape from the same people that were supposed to care for them.

They have a skewed view of their main attachment figures and as adults continue to live in survival mode. They easily feel threatened. They can be quite dismissive of emotion. They feel easily threatened and often except the worst., They require constant validation.

You Are Not Stuck

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Keep in mind that you're not stuck with the consequences of your attachment style simply because of your parents' wins or mistakes. However, being aware of your attachment style is the first step in understanding your needs. Just like love languages, you are able to take control of your attachment style.

The right person will learn how to respond to your needs and love you the way that you are. Continue to work on getting past the childhood moments that seem to hold you back.

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Why Some People See Ghosts While Others Don’t, According To Science

You would be surprised at how many people report sightings and apparitions of ghosts. However, some people are more prone to make these reports than others. For example, some studies show that almost half of widowed elderly Americans see a hallucination of their departed spouse. So are they are real or they just hallucinations we dream of during emotionally intense periods?

That's a hard question to answer because the definition of seeing ghosts can depend on the person. If we a define it as "sensing a presence" then it can be as simply as just feeling rather than actually "seeing." Thsi can happen in all kinds of states like when you're awake, or asleep, and when you're grieving or just focused enough to notice. In all cases, science can now explains why ghosts can be seen by some people, and not others.

The Fear Of Ghosts Itself

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darksouls1 / Pixabay Via canva

Some people are scared of the paranormal. It's not necessarily the ghosts themselves that make them feel uneasy, but the meeting of the unknown and the possibility of something they don't understand that defies the laws of nature as they've come to understand it. For that reason, these people don't particularly enjoy darkness, thunderstorms, or horror stories. However, the brain is funny that way. It's possible that it's the fear itself that tricks the mind into interpreting certain events as "paranormal.' This could be because the mind is already oriented towards that risk. Think of it like when you go do a presentation and work yourself up so you forget all your lines.

On the other hand, those who don't give much thought to ghosts, aren't opening themselves up to the possibility of seeing them. So chances are, even if ghosts are real and have shown themselves to them, these people likely brushed it off with a more rational explanation.

Inability To Breath Properly

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​We take our ability to let the breath in and back out naturally for granted. However, when you actually bring awareness to the breath you can control its speed which can have good or harmful effects on your mind and body. For some people, breathing is actually harder because their brains don't get enough oxygen to operate properly. This could be developed with habits like smoking which is known as cerebral anoxia.

When the brain is deprived of oxygen it can start to play tricks on the mind. It'll see things that aren't there or hear voices that aren't present. These hallucinations can feel like out-of-body experiences and mimick ghost sightings and other paranormal activity.

Being Exposed To Carbon Monoxide Poisoning

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Usually, paranormal sightings are accompanied by physical systems like dizziness, nausea, and shortness of breath. Do you know what else causes these symptoms? Carbon monoxide poisoning. So when people report that their house is haunted, they probably should also double-check that their monoxide detector is working well.

This odorless gas often goes undetected despite sometimes having fatal repercussions. People who have been infected by the poisoning are more prone to hallucinations that make them believe in ghosts.

High Stress Situations

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A study tried to find the differences between people who have never had a paranormal experience and those who have. They found that supernatural experiences most likely happened in threatening or ambiguous environments. This means that stress was often a factor and the more in danger a person felt, the more likely they were to "see ghosts."

For example sailors, mountain climbers, and polar explorers often come home with vivid stories of ghosts following them, living in abandoned ships, or sending them rescuers. These people were often in life or death situations that amplified their sense of a paranormal presence

Inability To Sleep Properly

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One of the easiest ways to start losing your mind and ability to tell reality from distortion is by losing enough sleep. Eventually, insomnia takes over the sleep-deprived mind to play all kinds of tricks. Sleep is vital for a sharp mind and alert sensations.

The less sleep they have the more likely a person is to lose their sense of reality and get lost in a world they deem paranormal. Maybe this is the only time they're able to let go of the conditioning that prevents them from seeing ghosts. Maybe that's why children have an easier time seeing them and then grow out of it. Or maybe these people just need more sleep.

Being Surrounded By Technology

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NASA / UNsplash

In today's day and age, it's almost impossible to escape technology. We're surrounded by electrical appliances, televisions, phones, even if they aren't our own. To operate, these technologies create strong electromagnetic fields around them. Studies have shown that these electromagnetic fields interfere with our biological setup such as the electromagnetic field which our minds create.

Some people are more impacted and exposed to these effects, making them more prone to conjuring up ghosts. Keep in mind, that often reports of ghost sightings tell stories of ghosts who disrupt these fields such as by randomly turning on the tv or increasing the volume on the radio on their own

Living In Isolation Or Unusual Circumstances

man stands facing a window in complete darkness

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Similarly as when experiencing high levels of stress people who have become isolated in an extreme or found themselves in unusual environments were more likely to "see ghosts" This is probably due to their need to feel like someone or something else was also with them as a coping mechanism.

Usually, they can't describe the experience in detail but out's more of a vague feeling they remember like someone was watching them. ,

Looking Inwards

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A study proposed that we spend a lot of time processing the sensations from the world around us. But when we encounter a sensation that we're unprepared to process, like extreme loneliness or survival, we start to look inwards. This means that our greatest perception ability is the one we find in ourselves. If you're looking for more information on how you experience the world around you specifically, then you'll need your own zodiac reading

Take a quick zodiac reading here to find out what your universe has to say about you right now. Understand your purpose and your potential so that you can take control of your emotions, your life, and your future by clicking HERE.