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The Main Reason People Struggle In Relationships Explained

While no relationship is exactly the same, too often the way we attach ourselves to our partners says everything we need to know about why the relationship failed. Before you start blaming yourself, this attachment has a lot to do with your upbringing.

Attachment theory might be able to explain why people really struggle in relationships. Let's figure out what it means, and what your style would be.

It's All In Attachement Theory

A lot of our beliefs as adults are shaped while we are still children. We learn the most in the earliest stages of life from our parents. This is especially significant in romantic relationships.

We tend to project unto our romantic relationships the parental relationships we once formed, like an extension of those bonds. The way our parents interacted with us and showed love is often recreated by us as adults. However, for some, this could be detrimental. It all depends on which type of these four attachment styles you have.


If you are someone who attaches securely, then you are one of the lucky ones. One or both of your parents were very affectionate and in tune with your needs as a child. You recall mostly positive memories of your childhood and continue to have a good relationship with your parents. You tend to be trusting and reasonable.

On the other hand, you might be complacent in relationships because they're "good enough." You easily get comfortable even if the relationship is not completely up to your standard.


woman leans her head on the back of a man

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As the name suggests, those with avoidant attachment tend to avoid expressing their feelings. This is due to having one or both parents be emotionally unavailable or insensitive during their childhood. These kids were often shut down and made to perceive emotion as weakness.

As adults they tend to be too accepting of their partners' flaws, to make up for the lack of acceptance they once felt. However, they tend to judge themselves the harshest and feel as though love needs to be "earned." They often feel like they may get rejected if they show how they really feel.


woman wraps her hands arund man's neck

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If you've developed an anxious attachment, it's because your parents were inconsistent. There were times they made you feel loved and accepted and other times they were unavailable, overbearing, and insensitive. This child was always craving the nurturing side but anxious that one wrong move could flip the switch.

They tend to fear the unknown and have a hard time trusting. They never truly feel safe and end up acting out. They tend to be overly jealous, and overbearing in relationships as they overanalyze and make assumptions in an attempt to mind read their partners.


man and woman explains

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This attachment theory was developed by children that were living in fight or flight mode. They formed disorganized attachments out of fear because their parents create unsafe homes and frightening relationships. These children wanted to escape from the same people that were supposed to care for them.

They have a skewed view of their main attachment figures and as adults continue to live in survival mode. They easily feel threatened. They can be quite dismissive of emotion. They feel easily threatened and often except the worst., They require constant validation.

You Are Not Stuck

man and woman kiss by stringlights

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Keep in mind that you're not stuck with the consequences of your attachment style simply because of your parents' wins or mistakes. However, being aware of your attachment style is the first step in understanding your needs. Just like love languages, you are able to take control of your attachment style.

The right person will learn how to respond to your needs and love you the way that you are. Continue to work on getting past the childhood moments that seem to hold you back.


The Four Facial Traits That Make The Most Attractive People

Researchers keep on trying to unlock the million-dollar question: what makes a person the most beautiful? The media keeps on changing the women they show as most beautiful and we keep on changing our appearance and fashion in an attempt to keep up. But the question is, do we actually ever actually "feel" beautiful?"

Does it truly come down to a science, where certain traits deem a person most attractive or is beauty relative like they say? Let's find out!

The More Symmetry The Better

woman with hair wrapped in a headcsarf

Oladimeji Odunsi / Unsplash

​Many experimental studies have shown that men and women both prefer faces that are more symmetrical. They even came up with ratios and masks that can measure the level of symmetry in a face, and by extension its beauty. Even monkeys have been noticed gazing longer at symmetrical faces.

But why? Well, science doesn't seem to have gotten that far. It could have something to do with evolution and our brains tricking themselves into thinking that a symmetrical face must be a sign of good health. Maybe we associate good genes with the more successful development of a facial structure.

Having "Babyface" Features

woman leans with her elbow over bridge

Hans Mendoza / Unsplash

​The idea of the fountain of youth didn't come out of anywhere. There is a belief that people are at their most beautiful in the prime of their youth, where they've grown enough to have adult features, but haven't experienced enough to lose their innocence and be affected by the environment.

From this idea, came the "baby face", where large eyes, long lashes, a cute little nose, a small chin, plump lips, and rosy cheeks are desirable. These traits can either describe a baby or a supermodel but the idea is that they reflect feelings of warmth, trust and won't argue back.

The More Average, The More Relatable

people crossing the street in a big group

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People are actually attracted to faces that appear distinctly average. Yes, the more you look like the general population, the more attractive you can come off, which just seems ironic.

The reason some studies made this conclusion, is that teh more average a face is, the more they likely are to be a blend of genes A study, published in the journal Human Nature said that average faces might be a reflection of a more diverse set of genes, which we might subconsciously consider as stronger in fighting off illnesses.

Something About Getting Older

older man with beard and glasses

JJ Jordan / Unslpash

Maybe women seem more attractive with baby faces but forget about youth when it comes to women's attraction to men. Women might actually end up being more attracted to men who look older according to a study.

This idea is still evolving and has something to do with women finally having a place in the workforce. The more financially independent they become, the more they like older guys, according to the study. They even named this the "George Clooney Effect" which showed women that the more patient they are, the better their chances at finding a man has more status and resources due to being older.

For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.

Familiar Faces Per Genetics

man holds up woman who smiles down at him

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Ask yourself how you feel when you meet someone who looks like someone else you love? You probably automatically take a liking to them just because they seem familiar, even if you've truly never met them before. You might even just trust them right away. In the same way, the more familiar a person might feel, the more we could be attracted to them.

Another study found that the faces we are attracted to are heavily influenced by our personal experiences in life, and probably nothing more. This theory says it's not because of genetics as even twins couldn't agree on who they found attractive. It just depends on who you meet and look at throughout your life and the experiences you associate with them.

Basically You Can't Win

redheaded woman on red background

Jordan Whitfield / Unsplash

Well, it turns out, even when you try to with science, you really can't define beauty. Some people are attracted to babyfaces, while some can't help but be drawn to older ones. Some people's brains attach symmetry with good health while others just want an average-looking face to continue their genes. So the message is, beauty is relative after all. I am beautiful and you are beautiful and everyone will be most attractive to someone.

Rather than focus on looks, focus on the person on the inside. You're here for a reason. This is your sign to get to know yourself better and unleash your potential.

Take a quick zodiac reading here to find out how you can take control of your life. Find out how you can achieve your goals and reach your utmost potential, and get more information,l by clicking HERE.