The Predictable Stages Every Marriage Experiences Before A Cheating Affair

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When an affair happens, it can ruin a marriage in just an instance. The cheater may be filled with regret while their partner is resentful and confused over how this could have happened. After all, how could two people who vowed to love each other for better or for worse, truly believing those words at the moment, suddenly feel nothing but resentment over those same words all of the sudden?

Well, it turns out that an affair in a marriage is more predictable than we thought. After all, predicting it has the power to stop. Here’s what research reveals about why a spouse cheats in order to understand and maybe even stop it.

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Why Affairs Happen

Well, it turns out that affairs aren’t just the product of the heat of the moment. They’re actually the last step of the subtle signs of falling out of a marriage. It’s a process that is predictable and can be broken up into 7 steps. It starts with subtle signs but sparks an internal battle that finally leads to the affair.

black and white photo of woman motioning a secret
Kristina Flour / Pexels
Kristina Flour / Pexels

According to researcher John Gottman, Ph.D., and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, the reason affairs happen is according to a sequence known as Gottman-Rusbult-Glass Cascade. Let’s break it down.