Spirituality
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The Reason Why The Darkness Of Your Shadow Self Is Actually Good For You

"It is a frightening thought that man also has a shadow side to him, consisting not just of little weaknesses and foibles, but of a positively demonic dynamism. The individual seldom knows anything of this; to him, as an individual, it is incredible that he should ever in any circumstances go beyond himself. But let these harmless creatures form a mass, and there emerges a raging monster." – Carl Jung

The famous psychologist Carl Jung, is the one behind the idea of the shadow self. But when you take away all the fancy terminology, what does it all mean and what does it have to do with you? You're going to need to understand this in order to fully know yourself.

What We Repress Fights Back

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​Our mind is basically separated in two. There is the conscious mind that has all the thoughts that we are actively aware of. Then there is the unconscious mind that holds back all of our repressed ideas, instincts, impulses, weaknesses, fears, and desires.

We tend to push those away because either we find them embarrassing or we've grown to believe that they're wrong and unacceptable. Those ideas are what make our darkness and chaos and create our shadow self. But, This darker side doesn't have to be all bad...

Letting Go Of The World's Unrealistic Standards

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We need to start rejecting the idea that everything we are taught is "right" Te reasons behind our conditioning often have to do with power dynamics and other factors that don't necessarily serve our highest potential. We're limited by standards and expectations that are often too unrealistic.

What happens is that when we start to let go of what we were taught as children and create our knowledge, deciding on our own good and evil, shadows are born and our sense of self becomes divided into multiple parts.

A Lack Of Shadow Self Is A Lack Of Awareness

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When we deny ourselves the ability to connect and embrace the darkness of our shadow self, we create a lack of awareness of who we even are as beings. This can be quite dangerous as it can make us disconnect from our true whole self.

Some people let their shadow selves accumulate so long without being faced that it blows up and completely overpowers and overwhelms them. This is how some people end going through years of psychological turmoil and depression. Denying the shadow self can make us sick and have long-lasting consequences.

It's The Only Way To Be Completely Ourselves

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It can feel conflicting to choose between who we're supposed to be as a civilized member of society, and who we actually are that we're repressing. But what's going to happen if we can continue to repress is that we're going to lose control.

We have better chances of controlling even the worst parts of ourselves if we take the time to understand it and love it as part of our identity. We can't love ourselves fully by picking and choosing which parts we reject and ignore, and which we embrace.

It's Time To Reborn Again

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​Repressing our own traits and emotions, and even if we judged them to be negative, is actually the biggest barrier we can put up against our journey to self-love. We can't ever transcend to our highest self and live authentically until we can be completely ourselves, with all of our parts, even the one we're too scared to explore.

Many spiritual teachings have embraced the shadow self. They say that when you actually, truly embrace it, you'll experience spiritual death and ascend into your own darkness. Only then will you be reborn and able to experience genuine healing and wisdom, emphasizing the best parts of yourself.

Relationships

The 5 Practices Highly Respected People Do Everyday​

Highly Respected People Are Admired For Their Characteristics

Ever wonder why some people seem to naturally earn everyone else's respect? They may even come off as intimidating. Maybe it's in the way they walk or the way they dress, and while those are factors, what makes them highly respected is the practices that they make part of their everyday routine.

These habits are not easy to form but those who have them create the traits that earn them the respect that they deserve. Here's how.

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They Read Actual Physical Book

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Harry S. Truman, also known as the 33rd U.S. Presidents, once said, "ot all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers." Reading is the way that these people cut out the noise, and step away from distractions. They devote time where all their focus is on acquiring knowledge.

They're not reading on the iPad where 5 notifications about Karen's new hair color might pop up. Rather, they are investing in themselves by taking the time that develop a variety of skills that ultimately end up making them respected.

They Control Their Reactions

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You'll rarely catch a highly respected person rolling their eyes at someone or gossiping behind someone else's back. Highly respected people treat others the way that they want to be treated.

The trick is in thinking before they speak. They have an ability to calculate the consequences of their actions as to control their reactions before their facial expressions or body language gets the better of them. They have great social skills and are great at resolving conflict before it escalates.

They communicate Assertively

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Highly respected people have very tailored communications skills. They are aware of their tone, presentation, and vocabulary because they've learned that if they communicate too passively or too aggressively, their message will get lost.

Those who are highly respected have a deep understanding of others. They know that people often react to delivery instead of the content so they make sure that the delivery is assertive and doesn't hold strong emotions as to not provoke anyone.

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They Know The Line between Confidence And Arrogance

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You might think that a person can be respected just because they're really good at something but it turns out that competence and respect don't automatically come together.

Rather, competence needs to be shown with confidence while still not crossing the line into arrogance. A person earns the most respect when they're confident in their skills and abilities but don't use them to brag and boost their ego.

They Show Competence With Warmth

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Highly respected people earn their competence with practice, hard work, and growth. Being smart enough or skilled enough and confident enough is also not enough to be highly respected.

Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy found that competence is only the second most important trait for earning respect. The first is actually warmth. When you meet someone new, you intuitively as yourself "can I trust this person?" and "can I respect them?" Trust comes from being warm and kind while respect comes from being competent. To be highly respected you need both.

They Are Always Willing To Change

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Highly respected people are on a journey. They don't get comfortable and then stop putting in an effort. They know that every day they need to use their time wisely and efficiently to get themselves closer to their goals and the kind of person that they want to be.

They're always on the hunt for new challenges and skills and they take the time to reflect on their actions to work on their internal growth.

If you're looking for a sign on whether you need a change then you're here for a reason. This is your sign.

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