Therapists are often trusted with their client’s worst fears and biggest embarrassments. However, what is deemed weird in their clients’ eyes is often not as bad as they think. This is why therapists decided to come together to share on Reddit the taboo secrets people were afraid to tell because they thought it was too weird but were actually things that they had heard millions of times before.
You might surprise yourself with how many of these you actually relate to.
” Nearly everyone has thoughts about pushing the old lady onto the subway train, swerving into opposing traffic, or stabbing their loved one in the stomach while cooking dinner with them.
Some folks, however, take these thoughts very seriously as they believe that they might act them out. It’s called thought-action-fusion.” – vedderer The therapist reassures that these thoughts can just be brushed off. They’re just a way for the mind to consider all alternative possibilities and consequences to our actions, so we can chose the right ones.
Grieving A Certain Way
“The number of people I see who feel like they should be grieving a ‘certain way’ and are afraid that they ‘must not have loved someone” or, ‘must not have cared.”‘People grieve in all sorts of ways. The ‘5 stages of grief’ are bullshit.” -sredac
There is no right way to “feel” in general. There are however healthy coping mechanisms that make the difference. Being aware of our feelings is the first step to learning how to control them.
Being too Irreparable To Fit In
“I’d say a common one is believing that there’s something innately, irreparably wrong with them that makes them unable to ever truly ‘fit in’.
For a lot of people, it’s such a deeply ingrained belief that it can be extremely painful to acknowledge or express, regardless of the level of personal success in their lives.” – GuidedBySteven Some people are afraid that if they show their true selves, then they won’t be liked for who they are. However, that only means that those people aren’t worthy of their character anyway. We’re not here to please others, but to become our best selves.
Not Having Their Purpose Figured Out
“They do not know what they enjoy doing. Often they have people in they’re life, including therapists, say ‘try to do something fun today’ or ask ‘what do you like to do when you have free time?’. Many people I work with do not know what those are.
Once I explain that I dislike these statements /questions because they assume people should know the answer, and that many people don’t, I can watch as they relax, take a deep breath, and say something to the effect of ‘oh my, that’s so good to hear. I have no idea what I like to do. That’s part of the problem.'” – ljrand The universe has a unique purpose for us but to path to get to it is complete to us, so it’s okay to go with the flow without having every step figured out.
Not Understanding Their Own Feelings
”A common one in the time I was a therapist was simply ‘I don’t know. You’d be surprised how reluctant people are to admit that they don’t know why they’re feeling how they are. But that’s exactly why you’re (or were, I’m not a therapist anymore) sat there with me; so we can figure out why together.” – kutuup1989
It takes a lot of work on ourselves to understand the complicated mechanisms of our emotions and being.
Not Meeting Society’s Expectations
“Women often feel really ashamed when they tell me they are burnt out on being a parent or that they never want to have kids. I wish all of them knew how common this thought is.” – trick_deck
There are a lot of role expectations imposed on men and women in society. Since we are so deeply conditioned into meeting them, we can feel like we’re “failing” when we chose to live outside of the box and let the universe guide us instead.
“That they “hear voices”. I’ve found that a lot of people aren’t familiar with their own internal dialogue or “self-talk” and that this is typically “normal” internal processing. A lot of people think that they are “hearing voices” and hallucinating.
There are some pretty simple questions we can ask to determine if it’s hallucinating or just internal dialogue, and most often it’s the latter.” – whatever-lola-wants These “voices” are how we connect to our soul and spirit. They often send us messages and signals that we need to actively listen for.
Speaking To The Departed
“Speaking to their departed loved ones. Thankfully, theories now support this and don’t consider it to be a sign they’re not ‘moving on with their lives. I encourage my clients to explore the continuation of their relationships with the deceased.” – Eachfartisunique
It’s always better to let out our feelings and thoughts unto the universe than to hold on to them. While we can’t guarantee that our loved ones are always listening, we are at least letting ourselves experience closure.
Secret Hidden Feelings
“A common one is ‘secret feelings.’ ‘Secret resentment towards a spouse or lost attraction in a spouse. Private daydreams and sexual fantasies.” – my-other-throwaway90
The thing is sometimes a shift in the way we feel about someone is a necessary push to discover a new path that better serves us. The universe works in mysterious ways.
“We’re all pretty normal, at the end of the day and most people would do and think similarly in similar situations. The big one is Catastrophic thoughts. Essentially, those voices, thoughts, etc. in our head that spin out of control and tell us all the ways our lives will catastrophically fail.”
We are in control, and we have the power to manifest the kind of lives that we want. There are lot of distractions and obstacles imposed by the kind of world we live in that makes our path seem “taboo,” but as long as we stay true to ourselves, we’ll be just fine.
Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives